Rules That Make You Lol

So I've been recently been hunting for a new site to play on, and before I even read the plot, I always check out the rules of a forum. I've started to notice some that have me taking a double glance and going "Why on Earth...." when I read them. They aren't usually things that will keep me from joining, but stuff that I just don't understand why it's important.

Ex: You can't make a new character until you've had fifty in character posts with your first.

FIFTY?! I've seen sites with characters that never reach fifty posts before it dies, so this had me laughing a little.

Another site said in their rules that there was an alligator pit under the complaint desk. I pretty much decided to join just for the sense of humor.

And I'm sure we've all come across way more ridiculous rules in the past, so let's share them for fun. This isn't bashing, it's just a comraderie of "wtf?!" about crazy, funny, outlandish rules.

I saw one in a RL rp taking place in an apartment building that said "no characters over forty." The explanation was that nobody wanted to RP with old characters.

I know the general consensus is that rules should be short, sweet and not patronising, which I agree with, but I've joined a couple of sites in the past that added a zing of humour to their rules and made them less... boring and formal, I guess? Sometimes this is done with a whole new rule that isn't actually necessary, and is just added on the end for giggles.

A good example of one I read on a board I joined once was:

"Admin X* has this habit of mentioning his parakeet from time to time. Whatever you do, don't ask him for pictures unless you value your hearing; you'll be invited to a webcam session and the bird will proceed to screech all manner of dirty words at you. You've been warned."

It was made a funnier "rule" of sorts by the simple fact it was true. I've never heard a bird swear so much in my life.

I made a joke rule about two years back that "Everything is Decade's fault." It was just me having some fun at the time with a show I was watching, but it's since snowballed and shown up in every general rules list on the board ever since. Recently I got into the Touhou shooter series and spent a week cursing out a boss who kept stomping me on a regular basis, and one of my other staff on the board added her name to the Decade rule during the start of newest game thread.

I'm not sure if my friends are awesome or jerks, but they make me laugh.

I know of a site with this exact rule that also requires players to sign onto all of their (ACC) accounts every single day, and they have to give notice if they're going to be gone more than two days. That seemed slightly excessive to me.

"This site is PG-13. After 7PM the cbox is X rated."

A genreXYZ site : "No advertising anything genreXYZ"

"Register in ALL CAPS"

"You must have a sexy play-by. We only want to look at pretty people."

"You must have a matching avatar and signature. It's easy and takes 10 seconds. No excuses"

"No power playing. You may give non-threatening wounds without permission."

"Your photo cannot be digital or hand drawn."

"Be kind to the Earth and Recycle."

"Post more than 3 words. Otherwise it is spam and is against the rules."

Fifty posts before taking a new character isn't absurd. My canon site used to require 100 posts to your account. This was to combat the fact that people would sign up and take a ton of canons, then disappear.

My favorite rules are always the ones that are based on the admin's religion. Like, errrr, cool. I really want a roleplay to be all about your personal beliefs. That's my idea of fun, right there.

I never got that one. There for a while every site I looked at had that rule and I was always like ... but why >.>

I've seen one about the cbox. If it was a G board, and after 9pm is was PG-13. :|

...I.

I just. Do people not understand that unless your cbox moves VERY fast, stuff posted last night will still be there in the morning?

I have no idea.
An upgrade from G to PG-13. Watch out, we've got badasses over here.

This is an actual rule on a rp forum. Really? It shouldn't matter on the site as a whole, just between the partners, correct?

I agree. And really, I would never want to play on a site where it IS absurd (the kind where that would take a year). Our new site is 3 weeks old, I have 5 characters - 4 of them have all over 100 posts (one of them almost 500) and the one who doesn't is brand-new. It's just a different kind of rp.


"Pregnancies need to be approved by the admins."

I get that this might be an issue for Canons, but this was on a no-canons site.

"Restricted or banned plot-lines include torture of a PC character."

This was an m-rated Anita Blake board - I could understand that you don't want graphic torture on the board but to disallow it as a plot... in THAT verse? Weird.

It might just be because I'm absurdly tired but a "no torture" rule on an Anita Blake board at all was enough to make me cackle quite suddenly and quite loudly to the point my mother had to ask me if I was doing okay.
The fact this board is apparently rated M just makes it so much funnier.

That's like going to a Thomas the Tank Engine board and seeing a rule that says "No trains allowed."

I almost joined a board that seemed really interesting, it was like political international espionage...in the freaking 60's man!
it looked totally awesome, I even read a thread and I got a strong vibe that I could totally play a lady bond type character.
then I took a arrow to the knee read the rules to the board, and two of them completely killed me.

1000 minimum wc

post templates mandatory.

So I shoved lady bond back in the musebox and clicked the magical red x.
That was so much BS

and replying to the post above me: 1 thread at a time per character is bogus noise to the extreme.

I wondered what happened to the admin of my old site, and now I know!

As for my weirdest...one lol, one abomination:

Six months?? Most boards don't even live that long.

...waiiiiit a minute, did I take a wrong turn somewhere and end up on a Hitler Youth RP? *checks* ...Nope, it's Harry Potter *headdesk*.

Jesus! Wow... seriously? *stares*
Yeah that is incredible!

I can't remember it exactly but it went something like this.

"ADMIN IS THE BOSS. DO NOT QUESTION HIM OR HE WILL GET ANGRY WITH YOU!"





So....... much....... temptation...........