Never hit a girl

Disclaimer: I am not advocating hitting women! If you think hitting women makes you tough or superior or whatever, you're an idiot.

A friend of mine just showed me this video and I was looking through the comments and it really made me angry that everyone was bashing this guy for slapping a woman back after she hit him first. In the video they are on a show or something and the guy and the lady get into an argument and then she slaps him. He's just standing there, not heated or anything and she just slaps him. He slaps her back and is immediately swarmed by dudes trying to kick his ass.

This just pisses me off to watch this because he was completely within his right to slap her back for hitting him, but since there's always been this taboo about beating women because they're the "weaker sex", it's seen as some travesty to reciprocate violence against you just because it's a woman. That's bullcrap, what happened to that equality that the feminists are always yelling for? Social equality comes with equality of getting a smackdown put on you if you try to mess with someone stronger than you like the rest of us do.

Now, I respect women. You're wonderful and intelligent and I have nothing against feminists either, you do your thing. The whole argument that you're never supposed to hit a woman even if she hits you is retarded. It's not a matter of pride; I was brought up with the lesson that if someone puts their hands on me, I whoop their asses. I don't tolerate violence against my person and I don't care if it's a man or a woman, if they hit me, I'm hitting them back, end of story. That doesn't mean that I would punch out someone that I was significantly stronger than when I could easily just stop any of their attempts to fight me, but if someone comes up and slaps me in my face, I'll smack the taste out of their mouth. The pacifists may say that you don't need to hit them back, but no one should just let someone do something like that without repercussion. So when he slapped her, he was completely right to do so because she had no business laying her hands on him.

So then he gets swarmed by dudes and I can't tell if they're trying to kick his ass or just trying to restrain him, but they were on him immediately after he slapped this woman. No one jumped into action for him. What else was he supposed to do, just let her slap him, laugh it off, and keep on with the show? I challenge any of them to get slapped like that and just accept it.

So why is it that it's ok for a woman to hit a man, but if he doesn't just take it and hits her back, all of a sudden he's in the wrong?

Just because it might influence my choice, I'll make it clear up front that I am female!

I think that violence should rarely be utilized. If someone slaps me, I'm not going to slap back -- male or female. I think poorly of people who respond to violence with more violence. So, in the situation where she slapped him, I don't think that he should have responded.

Oh, and I have been slapped like that before, hard enough to have left an imprint and a bruise. I've also been hit with enough force to damage the zygomatic bone. I did not choose to respond with violence in either of those situations.

Does this mean that he should have received the response that he did? No, most likely not. Despite my distaste for what you have described, assuming that equivalent force/impact was utilized, the man's actions probably shouldn't have received a vastly different response from the woman's. I think that you are correct, @Khairo, in your assertion that this is mostly the result of the perceived notion that women are to be protected moreso than men. This does result in a fairly broad inequality, but I cannot imagine it being something that will change any time in the near future.

My boyfriend is from a different generation and he strongly believes that men shouldn't hit women. He believes this so fervently that he has done nothing in the past when assaulted by a woman, aside from trying to find ways to pacify her without violence. It can be a little frustrating at times, but it's also a little bit of an endearing trait.

That said, I should clarify that I have no issues in responding with violence when it is done to prevent oneself from further harm!

if I punch a guy in the face, I'm not going to cry if he hits me back.

Well, I can say that my husband told me if he EVER EVER EVER hits me I'm to leave him. Period. End of story. If he does that he doesn't deserve me. Because men should not hit women.

I don't think anyone should hit anyone. I'm not a proponent of violence of all. I've straight up told my husband what I thought of the times when he was younger and less mature and got in fights. I don't need some guy to beat up some other guy to protect my honor either.

Do I think the guy should hit back? No. Do I think the girl should have hit him? No.

And as a mother, what kind of example does it set for my kids if they were to see something like that? Children are more prone to violent responses anyway, and I'm constantly having to get onto them about hitting. And one of the things I say when I sit them down and talk to them is "Do you ever see Daddy hit Mommy?" "no...." "Do you ever see Mommy hit Daddy?" "no...." "So do you think hitting is acceptable?" "no....."

Role models.

Yeah, that is a hard one for me..... *runs* Because I don't want my kids hitting, but if someone is going to try to wail on them, I don't want them to lay down and just get dumped on either. For the sake of their self-esteem I'd rather they stood up for themselves. Bullying is omg horrible and has awful consequences.

Such a complex topic when it really comes down to it. Ideally no one would ever hit and you wouldn't have to worry about it.... (Ok, I'm getting O.T.... this sounds like a new debate)

I don't know about the whole women are weaker than men thing. I mean every country has different height and weight averages. Everyone's unique no matter what their gender is. I mean there are women shorter and taller than me, there are women definately stronger than me (and I'm a man) and there are men stronger than me, etc. Some people, both male and female, have more muscles than others. I know women are 'generally' smaller no need to tell me but there are smaller men out there, men who are 'weaker' than women, etc. I think there's a lot more of them than people think there is too.

I've had women harass me physically (me being weaker than them, yes some of you can laugh but it was a literally degrading and horrible experience for me - even worse with how people look at it because I'm 'a man') but when I fought back one time - I'm not a violent person at all, mind you (I can't even hurt a fly) - the girl said, "Never hit a woman!" I was made out to be the villain even though I was the one being treated like rabbit fodder. It's a bit double standards, to be honest, this sort of situation. If you hit me so hard that I feel pain, I'm going to hit you - man or woman, etc.

If a woman hits a man then he has every right to become angry just as a woman has every right to become angry as well. If a man is bullied or abused by a woman then he has every right to defend himself. If it's playfully fighting. Whatever, both can hit the other. I think there's this sort of thought ingrained in men's heads that, "You're so strong and tough, that's what makes you masculine" and for women, it's all, "You need a man to protect you because you're a woman." I've seen people ask little boys to protect older women even though the little boy would have zero control of a dire situation - I had been in that situation and seriously, how would a nine year old boy protect a grown woman?

Women are completely capable of taking care of themselves just like men, perhaps I'm speaking as a male feminist here? I don't know, maybe I'm not even feminist. I seriously believe that women are capable of the same things men are, perhaps not 'generally' but there are most definately exceptions. It doesn't matter the gender at all, if a man or woman is 'weak' and they're up against someone physically stronger than them or abusive, then they have every damn right to fight back... this is if they're pushed to the point that they have to use violence.

It's horrible how if a man slaps a woman in public, everyone thinks "OMFG! The man deserved that. Probably was a git" and people might laugh (because hahaha a strong human is hit by a weaker human - even if this mightn't be the case). If a woman is hit by a man, how dare the man. He's being abusive and using his 'manly strength' on her. I remember watching a video about this.... I mean, the whole women and men hitting each other and equality and double standards and how people laugh at men who are hit or believe they deserved it. I remember watching a psychology study video on it, the link I can't find (darn, I would have put it up!) but it basically said what I said - well, sort of.

The answer to your question is gender roles (and I'm not saying gender roles is a devil-y thing, but it does instill thoughts in some peoples' heads). People think a man can't hit a woman because, well, it would be un-gentlemanly of him. I'm all about BOTH genders being gentlepeople (gentlewoman and gentleman), neither gender should be smacking or abusing, looking down on or mistreating, or being rude to the other.

Sorry for the length. Hopefully I said something different, I didn't read the other comments I just went straight at it, probably repeated myself several times like a broken record.

This made me think of situations of spousal abuse, which definitely isn't limited to men hitting women. In fact, there's supposition that the amount of women hitting men is higher than the number revealed because there's this feeling of embarrassment and even shame at being the recipient of such abuse -- a feeling that is compounded by the realization that the violence done on the man was at the hands of a woman.

It's like the idea of a man being raped by a woman. For example, the FBI didn't include statistics on men who had been raped (by either gender!) until 2011. Their definition of rape just wasn't applicable to men. Furthermore, while most women who have been raped feel shame (regardless that they shouldn't), men often feel it worse because there's this expectation that they should have been able to prevent it from occurring.

It's a horrific double-standard that prevents men from being able to step forward as victims.

^ There's nothing wrong with thinking too deeply into things, sometimes it brings a new perspective or sparks a new thought. It's also still somewhat relevant to the subject at hand, anyways, considering that it does happen. (Edit: That was directed not towards Piroska, but to Darkfire)

I agree that it stems from gender roles and gender inequality. I've always hated the "never hit a girl" statement just as much as "boys will be boys" (accompanied with a careless wave of the hand), especially when it is encouraged and reinforced in school.

Regardless of an individual's gender, I will not hit them for the reason that I do not believe that violence should be an option and I believe in respecting other people. Now that's not to say that I am encouraging that you should not do anything because, as someone bullied, I think you should stand up for yourself in self defence.

But at the same time, looking at that situation, I know for certain that I would likely not have reacted the way the guy did. I would not have hit the woman back because I generally view violence like that (on both sides - the woman and the man) as a cowardly last resort because you cannot use your adult mind to negotiate and find a more suitable and rational decision.

I'll fully admit, I have this ridiculous feminist knee-jerk reaction every time a guy says "I don't hit girls" and every time people proclaim "Men shouldn't hit women." Not because these are bad things but because of the condescending nature of it and the implication that women are fragile precious flowers who need to be protected from any and all slights against them.

I'm a woman, I do not condone wife-beating (obviously!), I do not condone husband-beating (obviously!). A guy hitting another guy can do as much damage as a guy hitting a woman. A woman hitting a woman or a woman hitting a man, the same thing because we're a varied species.

Basically I think the lesson to teach is that guys, being biologically speaking superior in physical prowess (which is something else entirely from 'being the stronger sex'), have to know where their strength lies and to mind that strength at all times.
Actually we just need to teach everyone this, because girl on girl or girl on guy or guy on guy or guy on girl, if you have a size/weight difference and a physical fitness difference you have a power imbalance and THIS is what we need to be teaching our kids.

Honestly, I'm not a huge feminist, but how are we going to get to equality for women and men alike, and how are we going to break detrimental gender roles if the first thing we teach our young boys is "Don't hit girls, they're not as strong as you are."
There is just so much wrong with this statement, and I have been having a lot of anger about it lately (something to do with comics and movie announcement, have a guess!)

Thank you! THAT IS ALL <3 I love you so much right now.

The entire argument has roots in the history of violence against women. Statistically, women are more often targets of violence than men are. They are raped more than men (1 in 5), experience more domestic abuse than men, are victims of stalking more often than men, are more likely than men to be killed by their partner, etc.

Because of that, when a woman is slapped by a man (no matter that she may have slapped him first), it's viewed as a Big Deal because of all those other connotations, because these things don't occur inside a bubble. That and men on average have more upper body strength and can cause a lot more damage to a woman if they slap her, more damage than the average woman can cause if she slaps a man. (Average, of course; there are many exceptions!)

Do I think either is right? Hell no. I don't think slapping someone, for any reason (save in self defense) is right. But I also understand that a man slapping a woman is a far more socially loaded move than a woman slapping a man, and for good reason. :\

If we were a society with true gender equality, where the violence stats were more even and women were not oppressed, I think both would be viewed as equally shocking. Point I'm trying to make, I guess, is that we can all blame misogyny on this because misogyny is the root of the problem.

I'll put it this way. I have punched, kicked and did all the fun strikes. Of course it was in a Tae Kwon Do setting and in a tournament you are just an opponent. You are in the way between me and a shiny. I LIKE MY SHINY! You bet guy, girl, or multi-tentacled spawn of Cthulhu I am going to go kick-happy the moment the judge says to start until told to stop.

Now that said, and for the record I did enjoy relaying my Tae Kwon Do mentality as I am a haymaker when I fight, fighting in general should not be used unless absolutely necessary. Unfortunately I went to a school with a bunch of roughnecks and to prove they were macho I have had to fight a couple of them. Did I want to? No. Were they going to beat me to a pulp if I didn't? Yes. Now, I am a fairly light-hearted, joking kind of guy. However, if it comes to a situation like that my philosophy is the Ender philosophy. End it. End it not for this one time, end it thoroughly. Just don't kill them like Ender had a knack for, but win thoroughly and make sure they never fight you again. Had to do this twice in high school, done this on two people. Now, did I feel bad? Not really. It came to them wanting a fight with me, instigating one, and leaving no real way out.

The question of would gender matter? Would I hold back in a gender situation? Hell no. You fight me and leave me no alternative, I am flooring you so thoroughly you are NEVER going to have the gall to even think about a fight with me again.

Now that said, something like a slap? Eh, I am inclined to laugh it off. I don't like violence. Plain and simple. I don't believe in hitting others or anything unless it is in roughhouse jest.

Now as to your question: I believe it has a lot to do with what Darkfire said on biological differences. That is why, plus it has been engrained in men's minds since caveman days *grunt* "protect woman" *grunt* so it is an instinct passed down in my view. We're not the only ones. Take bees. They die to protect the queen.

To shorten: I believe it is instinctual. And if you force me into a fight or get between me and shiny trophy/medal/whatever in a tournament, I am not holding back male or female. Well, maybe if I know I got the win in the bag in a tournament. Only fair not to make it a slaughter.

Be careful to not conflate 'never hit a girl' with feminism. That's rarely an accepted, supported feminist stance. I more often connect it with chilvarly which is le stupid.

I think that 'never hit a girl' is somehow connected to the power dynamic between men and women. At it's best it tells us that we shouldn't take advantage of our position of privilege or power over a group with less privileged or power. But at it's worst, it's setting up male/female as competing groups, making women weaker beings to be coddled and protected.

I see 'never hit a girl' as an over-simplified rule of living that fathers tell their sons, but that since it's so simple and so shallow the message gets warped and distilled and what comes out of it is chivalry and resentment and cries of double standards.

What is my stance? As a feminist? 'everyone try not to hit anyone'

Also here are things that are also true: Domestic violence is abhorrant. Abusive relationships are too. We should defend ourselves and others from bullies. If you are bigger/stronger/more powerful then you acknowledge that and be responsible, damnit. Also, don't slap people when you're mad.

Violence is wrong.

Unless it's like this