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Lgbtqia* Friends?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Alandree, Jan 22, 2012.

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    Sakurachan Member

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    At least it all worked out for you. :) I'm hoping that it does, anyway. Give us the updates about it and how it went?
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    Alandree track a ghost through the fog

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    Thanks, you two! Hoping things will continue to look up. Oh and very nice to meet you Sakurachan <3!
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    cocoapuffs perpetually four years-old

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    Nice to meet you, Sakurachan! :D

    And congratulations, Alandree! I'm very happy to hear it went well for you!
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    Maccabee surely, we have perished sleeping, and walk hell.

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    It's been about a year since January 6th that I've been out to my parents. I told them I was "bi-sexual" (they don't get what "pan-sexual" is - since I'm not limited to being attracted to just women and men), but to be honest, I don't really label my sexual orientation, I don't find it to be something that is extremely necessary. Labels such as "gay", "bi", etc, are so recent and I don't feel like those should solely define me.

    My parents are generally supportive; although, my mum has these moments of ignorance (but in her culture, gays are pretty much condemned so for her to even have accepted me is an amazing achievement). My youngest brother doesn't know yet, but he's just a kid (but I suspect he might know already, lol, he's not stupid) and my older brother is also "bi-sexual" like me, except I think he leans towards men, but he wants to marry a woman... I'm not sure. Most of my old friends just happened to end up bi-sexual or at least, bi-curious. When I got to university last year, I joined the LGBT group and made a lot of friends with the lesbians there (they were just friendlier than the guys).During the summer, I was seeing a counsellor and he suggested that I go to some LGBT meetings... but those places really aren't for me. I don't feel that I need support for something that I can discovered through deep and introspective thinking. XD That, and I'm more of a LGBT Rights activist.
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    Alandree track a ghost through the fog

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    :D Pan is a wonderful, wonderful word. I'm glad your parents are taking it relatively well! <3
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    Maccabee surely, we have perished sleeping, and walk hell.

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    XD Thanks, mate.
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    Akhenaten thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on

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    You make me sound old.

    Any route, I went through phases of being straight then gay then finally I was gay with exceptions for women. I realise now that I'm just "pansexual". I don't think genitals or appearance should really matter, it's all about them minds. I remember clearly the time I came out to my mum, she had no problem with it and she said the funniest thing ever - I won't ever forget it. Nah, my parents were great with it <3

    I find men undeniably hot... but I don't know I want to marry a wife so I can have kids. I totally want to have a half-Indian son, I can teach him the guitar and we can meditate while sniffing incense - off topic I know but it's cute. Then again, there's adoption and surrogate mothers.
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    Vanity Nah nah nah

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    Well, there's also having children out of wedlock, right?
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    Alandree track a ghost through the fog

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    Nice to meet you Gormenghast! <3 Yes, there are so many options for kids. A lot of times we are pressured to be heteronormative since there's a great underrepresentation of non-cis and/or queer families and the routes we take to start families.
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    Vampowerment2012 Fanged and Friendly

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    I'll be your friend too, Alandree!
    If you want another one. I can also bribe you for friendship with food!

    I'm bisexual but so far in the closet (or half a closet, I guess?), I might as well be in Narnia. My friends and family don't believe in bisexuality (but they're quite open to the binary gay/straight thing, and are definitely happy to think that I'm part of that), so that's sort of decimated my confidence in terms of coming out. I haven't quite gotten the guts up to attend a Pride meeting, but! I think it's wonderful that there are so many people here who have had such positive experiences (mostly positive, I guess; you all seem really sure of yourselves, and I think that's admirable - and really encouraging!).

    Anyway, although I've seen you around the site, I'll still say HELLO here and make it all official and such. : )
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    Alandree track a ghost through the fog

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    Wonderful to meet you! I have heard of people having more trouble accepting bisexuality than homosexuality, which is so strange to me and I can't fathom it! But I hope you can gather some support from wherever you can. <3 I too am also very much in awe of the positivity coming out of this thread thus far, it's wonderfully encouraging and brightens my day!
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    Akhenaten thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on

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    First of all you, Vampowerment2012 (not that the others aren't awesome too) are awesome since you mentioned Narnia. Narnia is the bomb.

    Secondly, to add what I said earlier and what others mentioned.... I (not necessarily only me but others as well) could always have more than one lover - not like cheating but both aware of the others' other love. I mean, Ancient Greek men had wives and male lovers, I'm sure they loved both equally. Oscar Wilde loved both Bosie and his wife Constance. I believe, also, that people can love more than one person at a time, I don't think it's impossible. I suppose I'm just okay with threesomes, etc. of pure love. xD Maybe I'm just open to "open relationships"?... I think this is irrelevant but I just thought of it now *is random like that*, maybe it can be relevant? I dunno. Maybe there shouldn't be any set way of how to love. Maybe it's worth a thought, I mean the whole different ways of loving?
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    Alandree track a ghost through the fog

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    Polyamoury? Yeah, I see nothing wrong with it at all as long as all parties involved are down with it. Unfortunately I think a lot of people see it mistakenly as polygamy, as in the whole one man with many wives thing, which I think is mysogynist and awful. But polyamoury is different, if I understand correctly. :)

    For me, I have no idea how I feel about it myself since I've never experienced it. But I envision that I would only be okay with it personally if there was mutual attraction and love between all three or more parties. As in, not just one person having more than one lover, but those lovers being the lovers of each other as well, like a complete triangle without anything being one-sided. /ramble.
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    starii Member

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    /randomly butts in

    HI~!
    Funny thing for me was, I never really "Came out", so to say. I just kind of... was. Like it didn't seem weird to me at all. Then again, when I was about 13, I thought I might be transmale, but I'm not. I think it was just an odd phase of what I liked to RP at the time, my horrible sense of self-identity, and the fact that, growing up as an overweight child, I had negative self-confidence (unfortunately still do, but I can fake it well enough pft). I've seen a lot of good and a lot of bad in the community on either side, which is sad. I was involved in my high school GSA from the minute my dad allowed me (well... I was forced to be in a club for school halfway through the year, it was the only one I liked, so it was kinda forced on my dad to accept it). When the supervisor left I took over the club and ran it as elected president. Very small, but we definitely had a lot of fun, although the school didn't let us do all that much in the way of trying to organize events.

    I've actually dated a FtM trans. He had a really hard time with it because he came from a very, very strict Mormon family and couldn't be himself at all around them. He had to come out twice - first as a "lesbian", then as a (mostly straight) man. He had a lot of support from some of his friends but some of the others didn't get it at all ("you're not a man, you're a lesbian" or whatever was, unfortunately, common). I tried my best to make him feel all manly and stuff, which he liked, but sadly it was really difficult for him to even identify himself or understand his self-identity because of the complete and utter lack of support from his family. They've sort of been forced into at least semi-accepting the "lesbian" thing, as if it's the closest/best alternative or "at least better than thinking she's a guy". It was also a bit upsetting that I had to call him by his given name around his parents for their comfort. It was awkward at times around the family, but overall it was a really interesting and fun, if short, relationship.

    Some people don't realize how much support they've got. I'm lucky in that no one really ever challenges me about my sexuality (pansexual), but I guess people just know better? I've been lucky not to live in any extremely homophobic areas, and in the past if people made comments I'd verbally assault their attempt at a verbal assault. People were also kinda scared of me in high school so many that was part of it. Plus, I don't really NEED support, since I'm completely comfortable with my sexuality and attempting to make me feel otherwise or change me will just make me laugh really, really, really loudly in their face(s). But yeah, I've seen some people with a lot of support that actually need it, some with it that honestly THINK they don't have it, and then people like Trevor whom don't have even an ounce of support from almost their entire family - and he had a LARGE family of like, 6 kids I think? Maybe more. Lots of immediate family. And from my understanding there were only like one or two people that were okay with it, which is really sad.

    HI IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
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    Akhenaten thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on

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    Yeah THAT!! xD I find it awesome, since I personally believe that people are able to love more than one person at a time as well as love someone but able to... yeah do stuff outside of the lovin' (as long as everyone's okay). A man with many wives, I wouldn't care as long as they're all happy and a lady is able to also do the same and have many husbands xP (I hope I'm not an oddball with my beliefs, etc.) But you're right it's alright as long as all parties are okay... I'd be the same, I'd be okay as long as everyone's got equal lovin' and are a-okay wit' it all. Why did I bring this up again? *looks up* x - X I'll stfu now since I'm rambling.
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    The Pixie Keep calm and ship Nagron

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    -waddles on in- As ever I am late. I'm Sherlocked, aka Pixie Aka Lisa and am bisexual, though generally am attracted to a person regardless of gender so I suppose you could class me as pansexual. Mentally I relate more with men and I suppose am two genders...it is not something I often think about but certainly do not feel one hundred percent female or male....did that make sense? I am 29 years old and did not come out, but was outed at school by my then girlfriend when I was 15, as such was subjected to physical and emotional bullying but waded on through it and like they say, it does get better. My mother however was no supportive, she did the whole "Its a phase." before her mental illness twisted her perception of me and my sexuality would be brought up frequently in verbal attacks against me. My father has always been supportive. I am currently in a relationship with a man. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and secretly desire to be the crazy lady with all the cats :)
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    jeslylo Warning: Fangirls.

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    -waves.- Hello, all! I'm Lesly, and I don't really like labels, since they are just society's way of making everything easier to manage and categorize. So I'll just tell you a little story and you can take it how you will.

    In high school, especially in my Junior and Senior year, I really wasn't concerned with my sexuality. I knew that I was attracted to guys. I dated them in middle and high school, and drooled over pictures of them in magazines like any other girl. That wasn't a problem. I also had more than a few female friends that I thought were very, very pretty. Like, really pretty. It never occurred to me that most 'straight' girls don't think other girls are as pretty as I think they are. I assumed everyone thought that way, because it felt so natural. Like there was nothing wrong with feeling that way about both boys and girls.

    Then I happened to overhear a conversation between a few of my friends about how that was very, very weird. And very wrong. And how people who felt that way would go to Hell and burn for all eternity.

    Needless to say, it was certainly a wake-up call. Especially since I was developing a huge crush on my best friend at the time. I was being more touchy-feely with her than I was with my own boyfriend then, but it was because I felt so comfortable around her. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, and neither did she. We were two best friends -- who questioned when two female best friends laid all over each other, kissed each other on the cheek, or held hands? No one. It was just something two friends did.

    Except feelings grew out of those actions. I told her about them, and things changed from that point on. When I broke up with my boyfriend (for completely unrelated reasons), she got with him the next day. So yeah. I was confused.

    College was a bit better. I met this girl in my Freshman year who is now one of my absolute best friends. She was extremely pretty, and I told her so. I told her, "Hey, listen. I've got a bit of a girl-crush on you. Hope I haven't weirded you out or anything." And it didn't weird her out. She was totally cool about it, saying, "Oh wow, I'm flattered. If I liked girls, I would totally like you too." It was an innocent enough response, but it got me thinking. Did I really like girls? Or did I just have those little girl-crushes, like every girl has at least once in her life? I didn't pursue it, though, until my Sophomore year. First semester, I talked with one of my friend's boyfriends, telling him about my feelings and attractions, and he told me straight up to check out the LGBT* group on campus. I went to a few meetings, and realized that hey, I actually do like girls as well as boys. And there's nothing wrong with that.

    At the time, I came out as bisexual. It never occurred to me that there were people who identified as anything other than male or female. But being in that group -- Glad, it was called -- opened my eyes. I had a good friend there who was a FTM transsexual, and I realized that I would have had no problem dating him, if the question ever came up. He seemed like a cool enough person, so why not?

    During that year, I ended up dating and/or having sexual relations with the same number of men as women. Like, without even trying. Recently, I've been looking for a relationship with a woman, simply because I've found that I prefer them. It's not that I don't like men (or trans* or genderqueer people), it's just that... I don't know, I like women more. -shrug.-

    Ummmmmmm. So yeah. That's about it. Take from it what you will. =]
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    Antonym welp

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    Hi!

    I'm 18 and I'm gay cisgender - to be honest, I've been very privileged with my experience of LGBT issues - I live in a very liberal part of the country and my school was pretty supportive and offered me everything I could've asked for when it came to meeting other LGBT people. I have to admit that over the years that privilege led to a lot of hesitation about how I fit in to the LGBT scene, and I had a lot of internalised homo/bi/transphobia that I had to acknowledge, haha (and that I'm sure is still there in some form, though I try to deal with it).
    I still don't really feel a part of the "scene" or anything, but I'm coming round to the idea that that's not the be all and end all =P.
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    Vicky Member

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    As everyone knows, I’m Vicky. 8D I’m Asexual and I’ve known since I was twelve. However, back then I didn’t know the exact name for it, so when people kept mentioning dating I always said “I don’t date.” I still do, because it’s simpler than explaining what an Asexual is, and I only go into detail during misconceptions. I can’t tell you how many times I get miffed when people misunderstand it, though! Asexuals aren’t Asexuals because they want to be a virgin forever. D:

    When I was little, I used to get teased a lot, and because I didn’t “date” they automatically assumed that I was a lesbian. Far from it, in fact – I don’t even have a romantic bone in my body, and even in the RP world I have a hard time getting my characters to experience romance. xD I still think kissing is gross and get very uncomfortable from hugs, and I have a hard time understanding romance as a whole. >_> When people want to explain it, I always think: "wait, what...people actually enjoy that?" But otherwise I'm very comfortable being Asexual, and I'm open about it when I'm asked.

    When it comes to “coming out”, I eventually did in front of my cousins and my mom and her boyfriend. I tried to explain what it was to them, but my mom’s still very ignorant and believes that there’s something wrong with having no sexual desire. They don’t understand still, and still believe that I’ll be dating eventually and that I just don’t have interest in it right now. >_> Thing is, I never did have any interest in it, but whatever. XD She never brings it up anymore, so it doesn’t bother me.

    So hello! =D
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    stainsofpeach One Day at a Time

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    I don't know why I haven't posted here yet... but yeah, hi :)

    I'm Laila and I'm bi. I'm really not much of a fan of labels because they end up meaning very little, constantly change and in the end, I still don't feel like they actually cover who I am but if there should be a list, I am cisgendered, romantic submissive to men and slightly switch to women, I have a ld girlfriend who has a husband who I like flirting with, too. This has earned me the joking title of "Potential Unicorn". I'm not actually poly myself (I think) so yeah, there is still some self-searching and path-finding to be had. But that just makes life interesting, right?

    I've grown up in a hippie, liberal family and environment and I really cannot claim I have faced much persecution. I ended a friendship with one person who couldn't accept me for who I am (the lgbt being only part of it) and when I came out to my brother, he snorted and said "Well, you can't know that unless you slept with a woman." So I cried with anger and frustration and he apologised and hugged me and that was that. I am not "out" to everybody I know, but I don't curtail comments about women and really I don't feel like it is a huge revelation when I do tell people. But then, to be fair I think being bi really isn't all that unusual anymore.

    I have to admit that I am deeply in the closet about the D/s-bdsm issues and hardly anyone knows that. So yeah, I feel the sting of prejudice and smudge campaigns there much more harshly than I do for being bi (where the reaction tends to be "oh cool, rock on!"). I do feel like a coward for not standing up for myself and adding some words to what it is really like... alas, I still lack the courage. I'm slowly getting there, though.
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