I saw a post in the managing rp area that inspired me to write this. I've only just returned to RP after a very long break and I'm worried about being able to stick somewhere. The chat box is not something I'm good at. It moves really fast and I'm just not really good at talking there. I've had it happen before that because I'm an awkward chat boxer I kind of get squeezed out of actually making any friendships in the game. I just joined one rp, and I really am very excited about it, but I just can't bring myself to jump into their chat box conversations. It's like jumping into some random persons already going conversation or inside joke. I feel, well, rude. lol
Not all games have Cboxes, a lot of them have banned them in fact. But if you joined one you can see if it has private channels (like Chat and Go) or PM people you admire to plot with you in IM. Many ADD and ESL people have problems with the Cbox, so you're not alone.
I think back a long time ago, when OOC personas largely were not known, OOC had a slight more IC flare... since you basically posted IC even OOC you didn't have to worry about projecting yourself as you in rpg communities. It took me a lot time to get use to having to post as myself, a player... and not just hang out as one of my characters. Characters were (and still are) the reason I role play. I enjoy playing games IC, answering questions and letting my characters chat with other characters outside of the direct IC threads... alas, mostly gone are those days. *moves passed nostalgia* But you know... you are a role player, and that means you get an automatic ticket of membership of a game's community. Being shy is natural for some of us... but just dropping a simple 'hi, how is everybody?' once in awhile can be an ice breaker. If you really love this board you're on, then say so in a quick remark, 'hey, this game is really fun' etc.. I think you have to give yourself some openings like that, then see the response. If the board has a OOC forum for chitchat, why not try offering up a post there? You could always say you are a bit shy in cboxes and that you hope this won't give the impression you're anti-soical because you are very excited about being part of this game.... It's kinda like swimming, sometimes the only way to learn is to get tossed in. Once you get comfortable in the water, the strokes get easier.
It isn't rude to jump into a C-Box if you are a member of the site; you have every right to be there. But, if you don't feel comfortable in the C-Box for whatever reason, I second the recommendation that you PM people to plot. Or, if there are plot pages, take advantage of those. On the game that I'm in, we have several dedicated members who don't use the C-Box because it isn't their thing; they all get play by PMing people for plots, and then everyone follows their threads avidly. Perhaps plotting and playing will help you get more comfortable in the C-Box. If you never get used to it, it isn't a mandatory part of playing. And I hope you have a wonderful time on this site you joined!
Honestly most chatty chat boxers (like myself) bound on people that are new or shy to the shoutbox. I latch on and start nomming on arms to be honest. If you don't understand something you ask and guess what, they might just tell you what the inside joke is and link you to the thread it was in because we're all very proud of our creations, even our inside joke, and we as member's of the site want you inside on it too. If you don't want to, no worries. Makes us Chattier people sad because the more people we have to nom on the fuller zombies we are. As others have said it's not mandatory, just something to add to the OOC and speed of the site. I use it to tell others I posted, that I'm about, that I've gone, that I want to plot, that I've posted a plot request page or just to pounce and streak through and have a blast. It's not supposed to be so serious. Let the beach balls float above the crowd so to speak, we're all here to have fun so don't let the chat box bring you down whether you use it or not.
Man, I was gonna wax all sagelike, and @SavageDamsel beat me to it. Seriously though, just throw yourself out there. Most of the time, you'll find yourself picked up in the flow of conversation and working things out that way. It's entirely likely you'll get left behind a lot. That often happens when a new person jumps into something new. There's gonna be patient people there, and the only way you're going to get any better at it is if you put yourself out there and practice. Trust me, I used to be Mr. Shy Guy in the cbox myself, till I ended up on a site that pretty much revolved around their cbox. Since then, I've branched out a good deal. It was really just a matter of going out there. Well, that and realizing what a lot of people (like @SavageDamsel) have said. Also, until @FelixTheCat said something, I totally didn't realize that Chatango was like, Chat an' go. I've been using it for like a year and a half now. Chalk that up to a 'nother idiot moment for Fate.
I'm not a fan of the cbox, either. Never have been and I don't think I ever will be. I post in them here and there and I don't fear them, but I'm just... not a fan. I don't lurk there, and I forget they exist pretty often. And honestly, it's never been a problem. Some of the sites I've been on have a chatty cbox and then others have cboxes that don't move for a few days. It varies widely, and I think RPers vary widely so you're definitely not alone! If you're worried about connecting with people OOCly, you can always send private messages or ask for messenger handles. And if you're worried about IC connections, just post in lots of plot ads and create or join open threads. The cbox is one avenue among many. You may adjust to the cbox and you may not. It may be a fear worth overcoming and it may be unnecessary if it's just not your style. You're fine either way! Just because you don't like that particular road doesn't mean you can't travel!
I'm going to be the voice of grumpiness - don't change! I too am an awkward cboxer, for a different reason - I just blurt shit and it's really stupid. The kind of stuff that would be easy to laugh at over IM but just sits there on a public cbox staring at me like "why on God's good earth did you write that. Really." And then I imagine some guest seeing it and I imagine their side-eye and I want to go and apologise to the admin for losing them possible members. Yes, the shit I say is that awkward. But here's the thing; there's no magic pill that will make me not blurt shit and will make you necessarily enjoy cboxing. I know I come off weirdly or aloofly a lot of the time on sites I'm new on, so I tend to just directly PM someone and get them on IM if I want to talk to them; there, I can be chatty and people seem not to hate me. And there's no point in me pretending to be wonderful sociable person, because a lot of the time I'm not. So what I'm saying is; do you. It's cliche, but it's cliche for a reason.
True story. I... love chat boxes, I'm not going to lie. Not always, but a lot of the time I do and I don't think I'd join a game where they didn't have one (I'm not too keen on forking out messengers to everyone and their grandmother). I'm not a sociable person in the slightest, but I do well on most chat boxes because I don't have to mind my manners so much as in a PM, you get instant feedback so you can apologize if something you've said comes across wrong or sounds weird and you can really gauge the temperature in the room and get an instant feel for how well you/your humor is received. Maybe not everyone finds that easy to do, but to me a chat box, even just watching one, gives a wealth of info about the community and how well I'll do in it. However, the ability to 'do well' in a chat box relies heavily on the community you're in, sometimes you just don't connect well with a community and all your chat box conversation will feel tragic, painful and seem to always take far too long. Either it's hard to get involved, you get ignored, or you just aren't connecting... these things happen, and there's nothing wrong with that! Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or with the community. Just means you aren't connecting well with them. We should all consider that sometimes we just don't get along well with a number of people, and we don't all have to be BFFs. The game can be awesome, but there will be masses of people who you will not get along with on the internet and then it's sometimes just better to not try to fight this losing battle. There's really only one way to find out whether the battle is worth fighting or not and that's to jump in. Jumping in is always awkward, but give it a go, see how well you thrive and maybe, just maybe, this group finds the stupid shit you say really funny or inspiring, or perhaps these people will create inside jokes with you to make you feel more included because these are the people you connect well with.
Like many of the others we tend to lovingly nom new members and guests to death in our C-box. However even at the busiest of times our C-box has never gone very fast. Maybe it's because we have separate forums for plotting, playing games and stuff like that. Maybe it's because our members tend to be mature and the surest way to make us shun you is to type chat speak (except things like gtg, brb, lmao and that kind of thing) anywhere on the board even in the C-box. I see the C-box as a convenience but when it moves so fast it intimidates new members it becomes an inconvenience.
I am terrible with c-boxes. No word of a lie. I have a big mouth, and seem to love digging myself big holes of trouble. Eloquent I am not. Which is probably why so many of my characters are... It hasn't stopped me from chatting my head off in c-boxes, but the main thing I'm using a c-box for is to ask questions, answer questions, say hi to get someone's attention, and inform people that I have posted, or am up for plots. Fast c-boxes actually intimidate me. Mainly because there's a chance I'll get bowled over, and because the faster someone replies the faster I will reply, increasing my ability to dig myself a lovely hole. My piece of advice: think about what you want to say first, and don't be afraid to repeat. Do wait until your message has disappeared without a reply first though. I've made that mistake. Very awkward...
Try adding friends over one-on-one chat programs or communicating in PMs. You can always say hey, what's up! And then tell people you're going to post, hit you up on chat. Then you've been social, but don't feel obligated to be all over the cbox. I think cbox does help a community grow, but I have plenty of players who don't use it.
I tell people time and time again, just interrupt. Just come barrelling in and be like "HEY I AM A NEW PERSON. GIVE ME CUPCAKES." It's the cbox. Honestly, no one is discussing anything important, and if they think they are, well... whatever. I get really awkward about important discussions or personal stuff in our cbox and I've told people to take their conversation to IM before because even I don't feel comfortable with what's going on. Jump in, and don't be afraid to admit you feel like you're interrupting. If it's a good community, they'll tell you you're not and be happy to start a conversation with you involved.
Thanks guys.=) I'm going to, you know, try a little harder with chat box thing. I don't think it will ever be my thing. But maybe I can break the ice that way. lol
Don't know if you saw my post to the thread that inspired you to start this, but here's a few pointers for once you've said you, "hellos and how are yous" which apply to both members and staffers http://rpg-directory.com/entries/i-want-to-be-more-chatty-in-the-shoutbox-worries-the-staffer.163/
I am one of those people who don't like chatboxes. You almost never will see me post in them except to answer questions. It has never been a problem. Something I haven't seen mentioned in this thread are traditional ooc areas. You know, those parts on the board outside the c-box an PM where you can get together and chat without having to worry about speed, scrolling, timezones etc. I find it much easier to post there because you get time to think, can read over what everyone said while you were sleeping, and add to the conversation in your own time. And since a thread is not quite as immediate as a chatbox, I find them less intimidating, too. I used that (pretty much exclusively) for plotting also, since there's the benefit that the discussion doesn't disappear and I can always go back to re-read some details of what we discussed, and it's available for everyone, not just one person whom you happened to PM. The most juicy plots usually happens when someone no one thought of as a candidate for the thread happens to jump into the discussion with a new character or plot idea.
We actually have a traditional OOC area on our board. As I said our C-box is usually very slow and this is probably one of the reasons why. We even have a guest question forum that is, of course, open to posting by guests. I just wish I could figure out how to get the guests to post their questions there instead of in the c-box. I hate answering the same thing over and over again. As for IM systems, I actually shut down my accounts for all of those. I'm diagnosed ADHD and seeing the icons for IM's flashing is debilitatingly distracting. When they come up I have to stop what I'm doing, click on them to make them stop and minimize them again before I can get back to what I was doing. At least the C-box is hidden at the bottom of the page while I write up my replies. If people really feel the need to have a private conversation with me we have a PM system.
