Have you ever signed up for an online dating site?

Hello RPG-D'ers! And sorry if this isn't in the right forum -- I couldn't quite parse if this should be here, or in 'Media'.

Anyways, internet denizens! You spend a good amount of time online. You know a few things about the internet. You probably like cat macros, and laugh at funny animated gifs. So, you probably like people who like those things too! Have you ever tried finding your future significant other or best friend through a connection site, like Plenty of Fish, E-Harmony, or OK Cupid? What were your experiences?

I'm on one right now. I won't link you to my profile, but I will tell you all that I am madly in love with this girl.



I am really not sure if she's even a real person, but you know what? Plenty of girls fall in love with Legolas and Thor and Loki and all sorts of other not-real people, so I think I can be in love with Rapunzel.

Share your stories and thoughts!

I have not utilized a dating site, though I would not be adverse to doing so if I were single. I think that it's far more socially acceptable these days, particularly with the ease of the technology and how accessible it is. I've noticed, too, that niche sites are appearing for different racial backgrounds, age groups, and religions.

That said, I met my boyfriend of five years online. A couple of friends introduced us while we were playing a particular game. We've known each other for, phew, seven or eight years now. It has worked out so far! We get some weird looks, though, when we explain that we had only interacted online for years before actually deciding to meet.

Speaking of significant others that I have met online, I used to play World of Warcraft very heavily. I was particularly fond of player-versus-player combat in set areas where two factions would be pitted against one another. There was a particular person on the opposite team with whom I butted heads -- a lot. We were cordial, but there was a bit of a rivalry going on. We'd actually go out of our way to engage the other person in combat and then would go to the forums gloating about one victory or another in a mostly friendly manner.

A year or so later, one of my roommates at college introduced me to a gentleman who lives near to her home. We hit it off and ended up dating. Imagine our surprise when we found out that not only did we each play the game but we had been fighting against one another (and, admittedly, taunting one another) for over two years!

yep, I signed up to OKCupid. Admittedly when I was maybe 15 for the quizzes, but later on I took it seriously.

And then I found out Cambridge is as pretentious as me being from there probably indicates. Third person profiles, guys. With (admittedly very well-engineered, but still) references to William Blake and Wordsworth.

I mean, cool, you read stuff. But the deal is you have to hide it because you sound like a wanker if you roll that out in public. It's like reading erotica. I wouldn't do it on the bloody train. Put the sonnet away, dear.

I don't think I've ever actually messaged anyone, I mostly just wanted to see what was about. I think online dating's actually really helpful when you've got a smaller potential pool of love to dive into (either 'cause you're gay or just because you'd rather only date within your faith or whatever). I'm not sure I'm so happy about the quality control though (I mean, they let me register.)

It is definitely more socially acceptable! Though I definitely don't think it's entirely socially accepted. One of the questions I get, sooner or later is, "Why are you on a dating site?" What that really translates to is, "What part of you is so socially awkward and incompetent that you would sink to these depths?"

Congratulations on your successful relationship! Man, five years. I want to give you a medal. I want to give medals to all people who have been in really long relationships. You must work so hard!

But is she real? Am I being trolled? I am horribly skeptical, but I can't stop replying.

What is the point of being well-read if you can't impress babes with your discerning literary tastes?

Like many of the crazy ideas in my life, I signed up for a dating site while I was unemployed for a very long stretch of time. Yay boredom! Maybe I was doing it wrong, maybe I was unlucky. Or I could just be awfully picky. But all I ever got were three word messages that obviously took no time and effort at all, or decent messages from people who obviously hadn't read my profile and were not compatible with what I was looking for. Out of the people I messaged very few replied. It was ridiculous.

I have nothing against dating sites, though, and kudos to everyone who has figured out how to work them and gotten good results!

I've never utilized a dating site before, but I assume that it's much like trying to date in the real world. When you go out looking for potential partners at bars or social functions, you present yourself well. You dress nicely, you make sure that you look clean, you try to be presentable, and you interact with others in a way that hopefully makes you appealing to the type of person that you'd like to target.

I would probably approach online dating in the same way. Rather than trying to look nice, I'd use the software to provide presentable pictures and also convey my personality. I'd write flattering and quirky (and realistic!) descriptions that would appeal to my target audience. Hell, even taking ten minutes to clean up your pictures (I'm not talking about 'shopping the image, but more like selective cropping, resizing, color and lightness adjustments, maybe even a little use of blurs as well as dodge/burn tools) can go a long way. I'd consider it the equivalent of making sure that you step out of the door wearing a little bit of make-up.

Honestly, I've never perused these sites before and so do not know what works and what fails horribly, but I can definitely see the parallels in this approach! Dress poorly (or overtly provocatively), don't put in enough effort, or behave in certain ways and you most likely won't get the results that you want in real life.

Just some random thoughts in response to your comments, @ladraove! For all I know, you may have approached it in the same manner and still didn't get the results that you wanted.

Just LOL!!


I prefer the old-fashioned way of meeting someone and hooking up -- in a bar.
(The way god intended it to be!)

Oh, trust me, @Piroska, I put the utmost effort into that darn profile and all of my messages. That's just the sort of person I am. I suppose I could have explained it a little more in my post but I forget that people don't know me/can't read my mind. It just seemed like everyone else wasn't willing to put in that same amount of effort, or at least the people that were near me/seemed compatible.

Not the worst thing in the world, really, since at this point in my life I don't have the time for a relationship. But it kind of turned me off of dating sites. Oh well!

I do not know your brother, so you are going to have to cough up the tale yourself.

After reading Piroska's post, I wandered over to OK Cupid's blog to read The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures. I will share with you some sample graphics.

God Bless America™.

Oh, @Kyubey, that's a fascinating read!

I tried online dating, and I was successful... but not the first time around.

Here's why I tried online dating: I worked 2 minimum wage jobs and did not want to date the type of people I served. It sounds incredibly snobby, but I worked in a lower-income area and easily intimidated 94% of the people I talked to with just my vocabulary. Combine that with the fact that none had any of the same interests that I had, most didn't intend to better themselves with an education, and almost all were just in it for a quickie and then go about their way. Add the fact that I was a 24 year old female virgin and wanted an actual relationship before sex, and that either scared guys off, or brought in the weird pervs. Plus, I was living with 2 men at the time (one was gay, but that's beside the point) and a lot of people jumped to conclusions. I just didn't want to be alone, plain and simple, and I wanted a serious relationship. So, I turned to online dating.

I tried out e-Harmony first. My thoughts on that site? I hate it. I got the impression that they really didn't like homosexuals - it was nothing explicitly said, just a vibe I got. But I bought a subscription, and I was determined to see it through. I met a guy there, and he turned out to be a super-needy jerk. I told him I wasn't going to be available because I was visiting family, and that I would text him when I got the chance, and he said he was cool with it. I ended up not checking my phone for about 3 hours and had 20+ text messages from the guy freaking out on me, because I wasn't texting him immediately. I got the feeling he was looking for someone to be up his ass all the time, someone who's life was him and only him. Sorry... I have a life of my own, friends, I went out and did things on occasion, and I had 2 jobs on top of it. I had stuff to do. I didn't get to visit my family for 6 months, so gimme a break when visiting. Sheesh. After that, I had a prett good idea why he was 30+ and didn't have a serious relationship in the past 5+ years.

Needless to say, I gave up on e-harmony right then. I set up my account to stop subscribing after that pay period was over, and they still billed me a month later anyway, and refused to refund my money, despite proof that I hadn't logged in for a little over 2 months. They were incredibly rude about it, as well. So yeah. I don't like e-Harmony.

I talked it out with my best friend, who had successful (and not successful) online dating experiences, and he said that I just didn't find the right site. He suggested finding a site that caters more to the kind of people I wanted to meet. So I thought about the kind of guy I wanted to date, and in the end, decided I wanted a nerd/geek that was just as nerdy/geeky as I was, if not more. Where do you go to meet nerds/geeks - who aren't Harvard graduates? Geek2Geek.

I liked Geek2Geek. It wasn't hugely active, but I gave it a few weeks, almost a full month. I got a few winks, I gave a few, nothing really panned out. I told myself that I'd give it another week or else I would move on. That's when I got a direct message from a guy, Justin.

Justin was nice, but he was unemployed, which was a major drawback, I had to admit, but concerning the economy in Ohio at the time, it wasn't uncommon. So I gave it a chance, and we talked. We hit it off. I never thought I'd meet someone who would be so close to my own wavelength, but different enough to keep it interesting. He's a gamer, whereas I was an RPer (with the exception of my weakness for simulation games), we both wrote in our spare time, wanted the same things, got along really well, had the same expectations of relationships. Things progressed really slow at first - we were both shy, but he was more so, and I take to make all the first moves... something which I had a little trouble with at first.

Well, our one-year anniversary was June 26th (though we talked for 3 months before we went on an official date, which is the day we count from). We jumped the gun a little on moving in together, but that was due to sudden circumstance (my new roomie was not working out... I could either move an extra hour farther away from Justin, or move in with him. I didn't have the funds to strike it out on my own... I depleted that by moving in with the roommate). It's cute... he carries the stub from our first date in his wallet. I saw it last week.

My whole thing is this: do what works for you. Want a gamer? Meet some gamers. Go to a comicon, or a site that caters to the type you're looking for. My mother always told me that if you meet a man in the bar, chances are, that's where he's always going to be. I've found that to be true, to a certain extent. Club guys always want to be in the club, smokers want to smoke ALL THE TIME, drinkers like to have a drink in their hands, etc. I wanted a geek, so I went to Geek2Geek. I had some luck, lol, but it takes patience, and you have to remember not to take yourself too seriously, lol. Have fun with it.

Not really. I did register on a website where, I soon found out, the main attraction was finding people you're attracted to. I was completely oblivious to this beforehand though. It's called MeetMe (used to be called My Yearbook) if anyone's heard of it...

I wouldn't dismiss online dating or anything. Might try it out some time later on. Who knows?

This was such a great story I didn't know what to say! It is always good to hear of people's relationship successes. I think out of all of it, though, this might be my favorite:

This is probably at least half -- if not more than half -- of the reason I peruse dating sites myself. It is terrifically awkward to be talking to someone, or trying to look for subjects of discussion, or cracking a joke, and the other person just -- has no idea! It's not that I knock people who aren't big on the Internet et. al.; it is that I am pretty sure you will find me very sketchy, what with all this "talking to strangers online", if you're not a denizen of the Internet yourself.

And, if you're on a dating website, you'll know something about the Internet -- I hope.

I actually met my husband on Plenty of Fish. Gosh, that was over five years ago now. Still happily married. :3

Until you run into the person who signed up because his friend/coworker/sister/cousin/kid/grandkids made him get on this Interweb thingy to find a date because they're certain that it'll work! ... if only he can find the [ANY] key...

If I had a dollar for every profile I've read that said, "I'm new to this dating site thing" AND/OR "I'm not big on internet dating", I would have all the cash to take myself out on fancy dinner dates.

P.S. Update on Rapunzel: She is telling me the Photoshop canvas effect is a good one. I am now asking her opinion on typography and Comic Sans.