Ex Staff Wanting Favors?

My RP is relatively old so its not surprising that a lot of its current members used to be on the staff at one point or another. A lot of times, staff will actively choose to step down due to personal problems or because they don't believe they'll be able to carry their own weight anymore. Usually they'll stick around as members or disappear for a while and then finally wander back like stray cats. We always welcome them back because they're a little like returning veterans for our board. They fought the good fight and now they deserve some semblance of respect for putting forth all the effort and modding.

So, to see one of our old mods come back is nothing new. He hit a rough patch in his personal life and couldn't keep up posting. So he was demoted; no big deal, no hurt feelings. He disappears off the face of the planet for a while and then suddenly reappears. He signs up a character and wants us to bend all these rules because the character type was "his idea"(in actuality, it wasn't; it had been on the table for years, just never discussed) and we didn't follow exactly what he wanted use to do for the character type. We talked to him and managed to come to a compromise... and then he went inactive again. No big deal.

Only now he comes back and his new character is in a different character type all together. My RP is a Digimon site and we allow members to play Digimon as well as play Spirit Tamers and Digimon Tamers. He's signed up a Digimon character and from the get go, he's asking for permission to have a special item and he wants to use "customized" Digimon lines. The weapon is fine; me and my fellow Admin are honestly willing to work with him on the weapon...

... its the Digimon lines that makes us pause. See, the site rules explicitly state that the lines for you Digimon have to be supported by something like Megchan or the cards or the games or Wikimon. Somewhere, this line has to have been used in something from the Franchise. The only exception are Digimon from Xros; they can be semi fibbed because of the awkwardness of the show. He's an ex staff, not a new member. He knows our rules and he knows where he can find supported Digimon lines.

When he was a mod, he was a really good mod. However, he's of the opinion that the restrictions we place(what few we have) limit the members creativity. I always assumed that working with in those restrictions and coming up with something fantastic anyway was much more creative that just total free reign. I know that if I confront him about the lines, it'll devolve into argument about the "restrictions" of my site. I'd almost be willing to let him slide with the line except that I've turned away other members and forced them to fix their Digimon lines in the past. It would look like favoritism, which I am not fond of.

What should I do? Should I just confront him about it and get the argument I know will happen over with? The last time, when we had to do this with him, we ended up, embarrassingly, in a sort of cold war with each other. The entire thing was done over AIM and it was before I was an admin of the board, so it wasn't like it was dragged out onto the board. But we didn't talk for a few months there and I know I specifically refused to accept his character at all. Another staff member ended up doing it, a fact I admit was extremely petty on my part.

A better question: is my site just too restrictive by forcing members to have a supported line?

I do apologize for jumping in before someone who's not somewhat involved. I hope that I may voice my statement here without it reflecting on our friendship or my status on the board at the moment. And please, take my comment with a grain of salt.

I happen to agree with the idea of requiring some kind of support, no matter how tenuous it is - video game, card, D-Pet, manga, you name it. Like, I'm going to be taking a hint from one of the games I never played soon. And I don't know why a new character should have a customized weapon, no matter who the player is, honestly.

However, we've had this out, and I don't like the "one line forever" thing - i much prefer a sort of scatterchart when it comes to a Digimon evolution. So, while I personally don't think that the customization is a great idea, I think that you've chosen an alternative that smacks against the other extreme.

Still and all though, I know that when everything gets bounced back and forth, you guys will do what's best for the story of the site.

I have no idea what Digimon lines you mean, are these like the powers they have? Transformations? I was just a fan of the first two seasons so I honestly have no clue on how to approach your question about that being too restrictive.

However, I can tell you from personal experience that just because a former staff member comes back and wants you to bend the rules for THEM. Don't. Especially if you've turned down characters for the same reasons in the past. It's completely unfair to your members and also makes the staff look bad and give special treatment to staff or former staff. Who are you more willing to have a rift with? One member or your entire board?

Regardless if he doesn't like your restrictions, it is YOUR board (or your working for it) and those rules were put in for a reason and in the end you have the final say so. Will he like your decision on telling him no? Most definitely, but you are an administrator and bending your rules because one person doesn't like it isn't always the best route to go on. Now, if most of the board finds it too restricting, then perhaps you should reflect on it and see if there's a way you can tweak it, but if everyone else is fine with it, then if it 'ain't broke don't fix it'.

Since you two have already have issues in the past, perhaps it's better if you "tag" in another staff member, as there could (and it sounds like there still is) be animosity between the two of you which would just lead to more problems.

In the end he'll either comply when he's told no, or leave the site. There's not much else to do about it.

I wondered if I should have explained the Digimon Line thing more in depth.....

By Digimon Line, I mean the transformation. Like the Child//Adult//Perfect//Ultimate format of it. Or Rookie//Champion//Ultimate//Mega if you're more familiar with the dubbed version. We don't want members to just make the lines up because they make sense; because what might make sense to one person, won't to another and so on and so forth. So we just make you have a supported line.

As for the weapon...

I would allow even a new member to sign up with a customized weapon if it was important to their character's storyline; however, it would have to be okay'd by the staff..... most likely by my fellow admin because I honestly am not a huge weapon buff.

And it probably is best if I let someone else handle it. However, I don't feel comfortable asking one of my Moderators to do it because this is an admin job. I could get my other admin to do it but... he honestly has no back bone. He's more level headed than I am though so I may get him to deal with it. We don't have animosity toward each any longer(we made up and everything) but I know I don't handle this particular member very well because of our extremely opposite opinions on restriction vs. unlimittedness(that would be a cool thread to do here sometime actually...)

Maybe I should just let my other admin handle talking to him. I've been trying to find maybe two Xros Digimon to suggest to him instead but its slow going; there aren't a lot of sources out there that just list the Xros Digimon.

Oooooh, I actually figured it was the transformation stages, but wanted to make sure! And actually, I would honestly agree with you on keeping the stages that the shows used. Things could get tricky if you allowed people to make up new ones, you'd probably get quite a few in there trying to make SUPER EPIC MEGA MEGAMON sort of deal. I'm also having a hard time figuring out what's so wrong with having those transformations.

I actually went to take a look at what you have written out for the stages and, though I get having them the way they are, perhaps somewhere you could just mention that you have these specific roles for a reason. You know, in case people do get confused. To change up the stages and allow others to make up their own would get really, really confusing. And you are following a specific fandom, so it fits. Again if the majority of players haven't complained about it, just leave it be, perhaps just elaborate on the why it's like this. Your members will understand and new ones wouldn't get confused.

As for confronting said member, if your co-admin is the level-headed of the bunch and you're the assertive, you both can try talking to him together. Though sometimes that can make it seem like the staff is ganging up on said member. In the end, just try to stay calm and keep positive and stick to your guns! If you're uncomfortable with changing your rules, don't want to let it be a confusing free-for-all, then by all means don't. You can also put up a thread asking your members opinion if you're worried about it too.

I don't know a single thing about Digimon, so don't look to me for any input related specifically to that.

What I do know is a thing or two about rules and exceptions. In situations like this, I think it's important to consider a few things:

• Precedent: If you've refused to allow other people to do the same thing in the past, there have probably been reasons for this. If those reasons still apply, you need to be prepared to act based on precedent or be prepared to handle some undertstandable backlash for changing your mind despite the lingering issues.
• The big question: Why would you make an exception now? If it's tempting to make an exception because you want someone to just shut up . . . probably not a good decision. If it's tempting because you think the system's flawed, maybe you should be operating outside of the rule, but in that case--
• If you feel the need to make an exception, you probably need to re-evaluate the rule. Perhaps the rule needs to be removed. Perhaps it needs to be modified to target the issue that inspired it more specifically or to note exceptions.
• If someone else was pushing for the same exception, would you feel the same way? Are you prepared/willing to handle people calling you out for special treatment if you do decide to give some people special privileges?

My first thought? He's asking, but he knows he's asking to do something that goes against an explicitly stated rule. The answer is, very plainly, no (and that shouldn't surprise him). . . but of course it's a little more complicated because of doubt related to the rule.

I think a lot of this would come down to whether the person I'm dealing with is a complete arse or not. If he was, I'd be perfectly content with saying, "These are our rules. If you're willing to follow them, you can write with us. If you aren't, you should look for a game run by like-minded people. If your character doesn't fit into our requirements, I won't approve your character for play." Anyone should be able to understand that. As staff members, we should be willing to examine our systems and requirements and adjust them as necessary, but I won't be told rudely that I need to change my rules or harassed into doing things someone else's way. If someone wants to respectfully point out some issues they have with a rule and propose a change, and I can agree with them-- sure. I'll modify things and let them be the first to benefit. I'm just not going to bend for one jerk because he/she's being a brat, and I'm not going to spend hours going over it with that kind of person if he/she can't even be respectful toward me.

Of course there's always the possibility of saying, "You're right. I'm going to get rid of this restriction based on XYZ. However, I'm not going to put up with your blatantly disrespectful behavior." Hell, if an argument about rules got nasty but the complaining party still had a good point, I don't think it would be unreasonable to make the requested changes but refuse to allow the complainer to enjoy them (or the game as a whole, really ). Try not to fall into the idea that you have to open yourself up to being backed into a corner. There are a lot of ways something like this could play out, and making changes to your restrictions but still denying a problem member's character is an option.

Also, keep in mind that you don't have to let this turn into a huge ordeal. You don't have to discuss this at length. If you know you don't want to make a change to the restrictions, you can be blunt about it. Make that known. If you have to repeat the point because this specific player's argumentative, go for it (You don't have to indulge him in a lengthy back-and-forth). Then you can go ahead and stick with the basic fact of, "If your character goes against our rules, I can't approve your character." Just make sure you're clear and you follow through on claims about actions you intend to take.

I'm just getting the feeling that a lot of this is related to concerns about having to deal with someone arguing and trying to force an issue until you cave. There's a little doubt about the restrictions with which this person's taking issue, and that complicates things a bit, but I feel like the biggest part of this is concern about someone being difficult and concern about being able to handle that well. Don't let anyone push you around or be rude. If you really have to, deny the character for the time being while you re-evaluate the restrictions in place and allow this person to apply with that character if the restrictions are removed in the future. Just don't make the mistake of bending rules simply to avoid a load of conflict with one strong personality.

I know a lot about Digimon and I've been a long time lurker of your site and similar sites.

It boils down to this: either you're willing have customized/fabricated digimon lines as a new feature, that everyone can use, or you're not.

You can't play the favoritism game for one guy and let him do something extra special that everyone else can't. You will hear no end to the drama and complaints. Not to mention what he's going to want next - remember, he hasn't even started playing the game again.

Having new digimon lines in the digimon genre is a BIG thing. If you open up your doors to this, your essentially switching yourself over to a digi-fan site where pokemon, sesame street, dragon ball z, and whatever MS paint scribble someone can come up with will appear on your site.

Stop asking yourself if you want to play favorites and break (not bend, break) your rules and game. You don't.
Instead, ask yourself if you want to change what the game is, keeping in mind, that right now, only 1 person out of all the people are asking about it.

If you're still thinking about it, you should ask your members. When one of my wolf sites decided to switch into a fantasy wolf site because of staff majority voting, 90% of the crowd left, because they weren't there for fantasy. Don't let that happen to you - make sure it's what your members want.

If I were you, I'd suggest the guy go off and build his own board and do what he wants to do. Chances are he'll try it and immediately fizzle out (since he's so flaky), and he won't bug you again.

I know I don't want to play favoritism toward him; in fact, it really is a matter of not wanting to deal with his whining. I honestly don't want to allow customizeable Digimon lines. I don't want to do fan made Digimon either because then you end up, like Xexes said, with a plethora of bad quality stuff. I'm pretty sure as of right now that I want to keep the rules the same... it was just a lot of members seemed to have issues finding lines that were considered supported... which should be fixed when I finally finish writing our newbie guide. I plan on having it link to our source for Digimon lines...

Thanks for all the feedback everyone. Really.

Edit: Also, I have to say, outside of being also part of the Digimon Fandom, there aren't many out there similar to mine. *proud of my Digimon Site*

That's not exactly true either = P
Recently there's been a wave of renewed interest and many digimon rps have been springing up here and there.

XD I've noticed but none of them are like mine. If they were, they wouldn't exist because I'd chew them out for plagiarism. DD is the only one I've see with its type of experience system and its the only one I've seen allows Spirit Tamers, Digimon Tamers, and Digimon all on the same forum. ^^ Mind, doing the latter one is fine but doing the former... oh yeah. XD I wouldn't let it fly. There have been ex members who have tried to use the EXP system on their own site... they got caught and shut down.

My belated two cents:

On the one hand it is fair enough to be generous to veterans of a game (mod or no) because they have put many hours in keeping the game going and can be trusted to stay true to the setting even if it is a new twist, to the benefit of all. To borrow a term they have earned, over the months and years, brownie points that allows them some space. On the other hand, a veteran player overplays his hand if demanding special treatment that can not be defended otherwise which is unfair to other players. You should always guard yourself against favouritism and an old hand should know that you cannot give into it.

Since this seems to be a case where a veteran is not staying within your setting, but seems to want to change it as a favour to himself... I would advice a No. Your resources, your site. If you feel not comfortable with the direction do not be persuaded to give into veterans over some kind of vague blackmail that he has earned such.

I wish you wisdom!

Don't bend the rules for site vets or former staff. They should know better than anyone what position they are putting you in by asking, and why the policies are important.

Your other members are relying on you to uphold standards. They may not be as vocal, but they do appreciate it and they will feel let down or slighted if you let someone influential pressure you.

Sounds to me like this guy is being pushy and going for a power grab, and he is doing this because he feels entitled to special perks despite the fact that he has to know these things are off limits to the entire game and always have been. I think you've been more than generous and understanding with him. But he has to hear the word No. Till he does, he's going to keep pushing, because he's learnt that by doing so, he can make you give another few inches. These are the kinds of people you have to be the firmest with. Tell him No.

I don't really know what this guy is wanting you to add for him (I used to watch digimon a long time ago but my memory is...gone) but generally speaking, you run your site how you see fit. I can't tell you how many times I've been pestered to just 'be more open' when it's something that I can explain as to why it's not an option. So stick to your guns and follow your instincts. Bending the rules for the sake of pleasing one person isn't always a good way to go. As it sounds, you've been very compromising but that doesn't mean you should do everything they want you to if it doesn't fit your vision.