Wait, that's not right... Here's the scenario: So what happens next? Is it Player A's responsibility to let Player B know "I'm not interested at this time but thank you for thinking of me, and I hope you find a character more suited to your ideas." Or is is a Suggestion the same as a Demand, and Player A is now forced to engage in Wacky Plot Idea because Player B asked. Their only recourse is to let the Resentment over the Injustice Fester until it spirals into Butthurt The answer seems obvious when stated like this - Player A just says no. Yet, so often over the years, I've run into people who pretty much just assume that a suggestion is the same as a demand. And yes, I know that there are no absolutes; there will always (CWIDT?) be exceptions. And that's the point of this post Lots of rhetorical questions above, feel free to answer as many or as few as you like, but here's my main question: As an admin or as a member, have you ever felt pressured into a plot you didn't want? Why did you feel like you couldn't say no? Disclaimer: This is a question that's been mulling around in my head for awhile and not brought on by any current situation, real or imagined. That said, it is a sensitive issue for me, since I recognize the fact that I'm the type of player who can be... ah... enthusiastic about my ideas, yet I've found out after the fact that so and so resented me because they never wanted to be part of Plot X or that such and such admin was complaining about me behind my back for backseat adminning. And for every one I heard about? My brain imagines 8957593 more. Chances are that's only a 50% exaggeration. And yet I can't claim I've never entered a plot I didn't want to simply because the person who asked was my friend. So why is it so hard to say no? (Edited for grammarzzzz)
I've been railroaded into a plot before but, honestly, I think it is on the person who doesn't want the plot to speak up. I'm a pushover a lot of the time, and very much a people-pleaser, and will go along with something that does not benefit me/hurts me/screws me over in an effort to make the other person feel okay or even good about themselves. This doesn't ever EVER end well. We're all programed to want things to go smoothly and we'll let ourselves be pushed into something for the sake of overall peace. Don't. If a plot/scenario/thread does not feel right to you, you shouldn't do it. It might suck in the momentary for the suggester, but it will not be good for either of you when, down the road, the plot is flimsy or falls apart/you want to drop the character because you can't stand another day of trudging through this plot/get passive aggressive with the other player/are vicious to the other player/drop out of RP altogether on a bad note/etc. Put your foot down the first time.
Very much agree with the above statement by Kiss... I've never had this arise in a forum game primarily because I play in a Narrator system and work with the Narrator who is supposed to work with the players to tell a story. It really emphasizes the idea of cooperative story telling. Typically, the Narrator will set forth a general upcoming main plot and leaves the personal subplots to the players to develop with other players while the main plot travels forward. If a player(s) want(s) the main plot to be more relevant to their character, that becomes a point of discussion including what aspect of their character it may relate to as well. A central theme here is that this is supposed to be a fun hobby for everyone including the Narrator. Sometimes the specific Narrator does not get along with one or more of the players, they are in charge of and things need to be dealt with but on a good site with a good community, this does not happen as often as you might think.
Player A should be able to say no without an issue. The problem, in my experience, is when Player B keeps going to Player A with wacky plot ideas (without wanting to compromise). It gets kind of awkward.
No. And to be honest, it puzzles me that people refuse plots. Or maybe I misunderstand and plot means 'have your character act out of character for the sake of the other player'? The best things have happened because I put my character in plots that I did not come up with, and that sounded weird or wacky or stupid, even. Maybe I am just mnot very good at coming up with situations for my characters on my own.... But, for argument's sake, let's say a player really does ask for a storyline that has my character dress up in a pink gorrila suit, playing guitar while singing off key (which none of my character would be likely to do, really). It is not hard to say no. However, I usually decline to post when I am simply too busy. But that's just me. And I don't mind iof other people say no to my ideas. As long as they don't always say no to my ideas. Give and take, that works best.
That, plots that lack common sense. and the biggest issue for me, not willing to compromise. I've had a player come up with various plots that I didn't like. We could work together to come up with something that we both liked though.
Omg I want to RP this. Anyway! I feel like if a player really doesn't want to play something, they should just say no. Them saying no would save us ALL a lot of wasted time and frustration! =__= As for me, there are very few ideas and stuff I'll refuse. If a player wanted my character to dress up in a pink gorilla suit and sing horribly off key while playing guitar...I would probably be all and find a way for them to wind up in that predicament, just for the sheer lolwut factor. That said, I used to be afraid of saying no, and got pressured into situations I was uncomfortable with. I used to believe that to be a flexible and open-minded RPer, I needed to roll with EVERYTHING, even if it made me uncomfortable, or I was a bad RPer. I've since gotten out of that mentality and now know how to say no if I really don't like something.
A bear walks into a bar, huh? Well, there's currently a character walking around on our site that is in the body of a bear that's on fire. That's animism for ya! He's pretty useful when spelunking into a ruin or dungeon, though - gotta keep the place well lit, right? Anyway, I'm currently stretched pretty thin, and I've had to be particularly choosy on which RPs I join and/or make new characters. I've been lucky enough that the majority of the threads I'm involved in include large chunks of our community, so I tend not to leave anyone behind. As far as disliking the idea of a plot and/or character... I'm usually pretty blunt -to a fault- about it. A solid no, and if they keep asking why, I'll explain why I'm not interested.
Really thinking I need to step out of the narrated Roleplay style so I can properly participate in these discussions. I've led such a sheltered RP life apparently.
As an admin or as a member, have you ever felt pressured into a plot you didn't want? Why did you feel like you couldn't say no? Yes, I have, and I accepted it, simply because I think that writing a story with other people, instead of writing it alone, means negotiations, give and take, meeting each other halfway. I might not like it, but if the other likes it, I am there to support him. Maybe not exactly the way he initially wanted it, but we discuss and find ways and reasons for that plot - eventually with little adjustments - to work. At my turn, I expect the same courtesy - and my frustration comes when I feel that I was always the one to give in and the other doesn't give anything in return. Because it is in the nature of the collective writing that not everybody likes everything, but everybody has to find a thing to like. And what you don't care too much about it, might be your partners' favourite plot, while one they don't like it as much, might be yours.
Ahh, I must say, shame on me as an admin! I've let my members create gigantic site plots without asking, because they don't mean any harm by it. For example, the last site wide plot I created? Last year in October. Since then there has been a few gigantic wars, many battles, and a big plot right now that really got on my nerves with an NPC group taking over the government basically. Needless to say I felt like I couldn't say no because the member had posted this big post as the starting one that they worked very hard on. I felt like I would be a horrible person if I took it down. So yes, I have been pressured into many plots I did not want, nor sometimes ever gave approval of. And I let them slide by because I trust that the members will at least keep me updated and not abuse the privilege I gave them. Not to mention I'm too much of a pushover. Though if I don't like the plot idea and they have asked for permission, I probably wont say yes. Now, at least. I used to be a pushover for saying yes as well! As for being a player, being asked to plot, if I don't like the idea I'll say no. For me that's much easier than as an admin denying a plot.
Certain types of people, especially people pleasers and the less experienced roleplayers, see it as a forced demand. It is not your fault they see it this way, but you can't really place the blame on them for not understanding that 'no' is an option and that changing details is also an option. You can gently remind them that they don't have to say yes or that they can change parts of the idea, to be polite, but even if you don't you're not to blame. TL;DR : It's no one's fault. It's not their fault. It's especially not your fault. Member vs staff doesn't matter at all.
I don't have any problems saying no to someone but I have been in situations where people felt obligated to me but didn't really want to do it. I've never been able to understand it, honestly. However, that's not to say that I don't compromise. I might like this, but not that, so I will offer something else. My frustrations comes with those people who can't do the same so they just sit there and go along with everything you suggested, feeling like it's a chore and all that. Buh.
