Sexuality

So, I've known my share of homosexuals in my lifetime, both male and female. I've also known plenty of bisexuals as well. And of course, the majority of everyone I meet (at least on the surface) are heterosexual. I also had a friend that I could have sworn was asexual until we graduated high school and were well into college. (that was mostly a joke, but...)

I have a few points or questions rather, that I'd like to make. Has anyone heard of Pansexuality? I've heard mostly, that it is when someone doesn't see age, race, gender, or even sometimes species. "The heart wants what the heart wants," and what-not. It doesn't necessarily mean bisexual because a Pansexual can also fall in love with a dog. I find it sort of strange. Has anyone met someone that declares them self Pansexual? Do you believe that it actually happens, that this branch of sexuality exists? What are your thoughts on it.

Also, do you believe we choose who and what we are attracted to? I have a lesbian friend who calls bisexuals greedy because they want to hog both sexes for themselves. But does one choose to be greedy? And if being bisexual is greedy... what is Pansexual?

Just my mind wandering around. lol

Captain Jack Harkness is pansexual and no one thinks he's greedy :p

Two people, actually. Fellow RPers, the both of them.

Also. I don't think anyone is born with a sexuality. I think it just develops over time. That's all I'm going to say. End of that one.

*shrug* I'm bi. Mostly for the guy's though. Nearly everybody in my (Catholic) college was either gay, bi for bi-curious, which I find hilarious. Nobody chooses who they are attracted to, it just happens. It's not predetermined either, it's a matter of choice...I realise that means I've just totally contradicted myself, but what I mean is it's not a case of being gay or not gay, it's a case of accepting it.

Has anyone met someone that declares them self Pansexual?
EDWARD CULLEN, anybody?

Do you believe that it actually happens, that this branch of sexuality exists? What are your thoughts on it.
I believe you can get attracted to anything, even a TV remote. (maybe compulsive masturbators could explain better) What I don't believe is that you can't help yourself. The human is not human for having a big brain; he's special for using that brain good enough to go beyond implanted, involuntary instincts. So being non-homosexual or whatever is not at all a killer challenge; cases exist of people leaving homosexuality. Just saying your sexuality doesn't define your sexual life.

Also, do you believe we choose who and what we are attracted to?
I kind of answered that above. We can't control who we're attracted to, but we can control who we attempt to have a relationship with.

I have a lesbian friend who calls bisexuals greedy because they want to hog both sexes for themselves. But does one choose to be greedy?
Kinda yes...kinda no. See above.

And if being bisexual is greedy... what is Pansexual?
EDWARD CULLEN...nuff said. Regardless, it doesn't matter if you're attracted to even your ownself...have some disgusting compulsion to...well, I won't explain. As long as you don't go on pursue goals which are morally, biologically, logically and economically destructive.

This post has been edited by Addiction on Aug 2 2009, 01:54 PM

Short answers, because my head has been hurting for four days straight. D: Headache, go away plz.

Has anyone heard of Pansexuality?
Yessss.

Has anyone met someone that declares them self Pansexual? Do you believe that it actually happens, that this branch of sexuality exists?
Yes (and at least one or two RPGDers, too, I think), and sure.

Also, do you believe we choose who and what we are attracted to?
No. But then some part of me also feels like sexuality is fluid. My mind's still trying to resolve this. Hmm. That is, I don't think anyone really chooses who or what they're attracted to -- but on the other hand, I don't think it's completely fixed for everyone, which is why I do believe that pansexuality could exist. If you always thought that your true love (or something?) was going to be a guy and one day you meet this girl who does it for you -- I'm sure it happens, you know?

As for me, I'm asexual. ;) Of course, I'm also a sappy romantic at heart -- I'll "awwww" with everyone else when I see something really sweet.

This post has been edited by Kin on Aug 2 2009, 03:47 PM

Kin: my "asesxual" friend said that's why he was asexual for so long. lol he's a sappy romantic and since no one else was really into the sappy romantic chivalry stuff. maybe that's my problem right now too.

I've heard pansexual described as a couple different things. One was what you said, but I know someone else who is pansexual and refers to it as disregard for gender - doesn't matter if someone is a man, woman, a man in drag, a hermaphrodite, a transexual, whatever. It's all good. I imagine that extends into aliens and humanoids in the case of fiction. xDD I don't think falling in love with animals is pansexuality though. But yes, I do believe it exists.

As for the whole 'greedy' thing, I think that's just wrong. You may as well start calling a straight person who finds all of the opposite sex attractive, whatever size, shape or ethnicity, greedy. Or say that straight people are 'just too picky'. I don't think you can help who you're attracted to but like Addiction said, you can chose who you want a relationship with. Honestly, I find it kind of depressing that some homosexuals as well as heterosexuals discriminate against bisexuals in the way they do. ><;

Has anyone met someone that declares them self Pansexual?
I have! Me! I declare myself Pansexual! That was a long-drawn out messy thing. >> I fell in love with someone over the internet, was lied to about their gender, and realized that it doesn't really matter what gender/race you are...if I love you, I love you. Period. I continued a relationship with that person for almost a year before we broke up because of RL reasons. :]

Do you believe that it actually happens, that this branch of sexuality exists? What are your thoughts on it.
Mhm. I do. Because I feel it. >.> To be honest, I grew up in a family where we were taught it's okay to love whomever you love. You can't help who you fall for, you just fall. I don't think sexuality is any different. You can't help who you are attracted to. You just are. I think that people try to make things way too definite with sexuality. It's not black and white. It's a grey area. If you like someone, then you like them. Sure, some people are attracted strictly to the same/opposite sex..some to both sexes. But sexuality is much more than who you are attracted to. At least...for me. If I like the personality, if I like the color of your hair, or the way it frames your face... then I like you..regardless of gender.

Also, do you believe we choose who and what we are attracted to?
Kinda. I mean, we set ourselves up with who we will be attracted to. We also have help from outside forces that tell us what we should be attracted to. For instance, most girls will probably remember thinking they were going to fall in love with a dark haired, light eyed guy when they were young - or even someone who looked like their dad - this, could easily, have an effect on who they are attracted to when they're older. Not to mention that media is spewing "hot, tall, blondes that weigh 85 pounds!" at us every minute... so.. you kinda feel like you should be attracted to that. On the flip side, you can't really help you eventually end up being attracted to..because at that moment you aren't thinking "I'ma be attracted to that person!! OO:"

I have a lesbian friend who calls bisexuals greedy because they want to hog both sexes for themselves. But does one choose to be greedy?
I hate this argument! I hate the "there's no bisexual" argument. I really do. My boyfriend actually said this to me the other day and I just flipped. Like, really? Why can't someone be attracted to both females and males? There are definite pluses to both. Girls are softer, more feminine, they have gentle touches... guys.. well.. >.> guys look good? I donno, I suck at describing why guys are attractive xD I never think about it. I've only ever been attracted to one guy my entire life and that's my current boyfriend..so...>.> But, yeah, I don't understand why someone would be all "there's no bi" because...who are they to dictate how another person feels toward someone else? It's ridiculous. That doesn't really answer the question >.> but yes, I do think people choose to be greedy.. perhaps not at first, but as time goes on - definitely. I just don't think it applies to attraction/sexuality.

And if being bisexual is greedy... what is Pansexual?
Pansexual is... being...open. You want to love someone/be attracted to someone and you understand that attraction has no boundaries/set definitions. You are attracted to/love who you are attracted to/love. End of story.

:]

A pansexual is someone who doesnt care about classifications, if they fall in love with someone its love. And usually these people who call tehmselves this are actually bisexual. But if your theory yes they could love a dog and fit into this category which is just wrong....

I'm counting myslef as bisexual iof late as im attractive to both males and females... no animals though. I have plenty of gay and staright friends. Ive only once emt a pansexual and they were basically a fancy name for bi.

I'm a pansexual genderqueer and in a relationship with another girl.

Pansexuality, as far as I am aware, has nothing to do with other species. >_o Which I thiiiink is a common misconception. It's all about humans and gender. Pansexuality simply recognizes that there are more genders out there than the typical gender binary of male/female. It recognizes transgender, genderqueer, non-gender...etc.

Yeah, it definitely exists. How do I know? 'Cause it's what I am! I am gender blind. I am attracted to the person. *shrug*

The greedy thing drives me nuts, almost as much as the "if you're bisexual/pansexual you are a slut and will cheat!" Uh, no. It just means we don't care about what genitals someone has or what gender they identify with when it comes to attraction.

I don't think people choose who they are attracted to--and if you think that, then go out and choose someone to be attracted to RIGHT NOW--but we do choose to act on our attraction.

Teensofmagic, pansexuality is basically bisexuality if you look at it from the outside. But it's a lot more complicated than that so if you don't really understand what it is, then yeah. You could call it a fancy name for bi. But that's not what it is. Again, it has a lot to do with gender stuff, which is something you can't always see--but it's there.

meryllyn: Hate to say it, but your lesbian friend hating on bisexuals? Perfect example of the fact that just because one marginalized group should know better than to marginalize someone else... doesn't mean they do. A lot of bisexuals look to other LGBT people for support and face many of the same prejudices and judgments they got elsewhere, and it's very discouraging. A lot of people in this thread have remarked on your friend's comment, and I wanted to add to their concerns.

As for pansexuality, yes. I have heard of it. I have never heard it connected to bestiality by anybody who uses the term as an identifier, though. For that, you have zoophiles.

As for whether people choose their sexuality...

I don't think sexuality is something an individual person can control or choose (and that pressuring someone to do so is really damaging and cruel unless they're hurting themselves or others in some obvious way). After all, think about the experience of being openly gay in a lot of cultures.

If people choose their sexuality, that means there are people who look at an increased chance of being assaulted, murdered, discriminated against, and choose that over the alternative (which is to live a safer and more privileged life as a publicly-heterosexual person). That doesn't seem like a sensible conclusion to me, and considering that people who end up identifying as LGBT say they didn't choose it... I think it's important to lend weight to their account.

This post has been edited by Cobalt on Aug 6 2009, 03:28 PM

Word. Bisexuals and pansexuals are discriminated against by homosexuals, too, and sometimes even called sell-outs. They're unique in that they are not straight enough for one group, but not gay enough for the other. =__=

Then there is the stigma that bisexuality doesn't really exist. If you're bi but date someone of the opposite sex, you're not really bi. And if you're bi and date someone of the same sex, you're gay and just don't want to admit it so you say you're bi instead.

It's a load of bull.

I'm pansexual myself and would be happy to answer any questions you may have on the subject, but I think Rhi-Rhi covered the bulk of it :)

This post has been edited by Laurel on Aug 9 2009, 07:24 AM

Hmmm... For the longest time, I've considered myself to be bisexual, but now that the subject's brought up I very well might be pansexual. I certainly don't care much about which genitalia a partner happens to be sporting. Really, it's a person's personality that is most important, above all else.