Time to Flip the Cookies

This is real. This is a real thing.

So, my roommate's name is Will. And now, this:

[5:40:10 PM] Elijah: ..............................................
[5:40:19 PM] Ashley: what
[5:40:28 PM] Elijah: I just pulled a second batch of cookies out
[5:40:42 PM] Elijah: And I told Will to set a timer for four minutes for me to pull them off the pans
[5:40:47 PM] Elijah: And when the timer goes off he goes
[5:41:07 PM] Elijah: Will: Okay, it's time to flip them.
Me: Okay, I -- what?
Will: ?
Me: FLIP them?
Will: Yeah, the cookies.
[5:41:21 PM] Ashley: what
[5:41:51 PM] Elijah: so
[5:41:52 PM] Ashley: how does
[5:41:57 PM] Ashley: how does he think cookies are made...?
[5:42:14 PM] Elijah: I'm
[5:42:14 PM] Elijah: not sure
[5:42:27 PM] Elijah: He apparently has never made them before
[5:42:27 PM] Elijah: OR
[5:42:30 PM] Elijah: The alternative to that
[5:42:31 PM] Elijah: Is that
[5:42:33 PM] Elijah: Sometime in the past
[5:42:37 PM] Elijah: He has made cookies
[5:42:37 PM] Elijah: and
[5:42:40 PM] Elijah: flipped them
[5:42:53 PM] Ashley: Can you
[5:42:55 PM] Ashley: can you ask him
[5:42:59 PM] Ashley: if he has done this
[5:43:01 PM] Ashley: because I need to know
[5:43:12 PM] Elijah: I have to stop
[5:43:13 PM] Elijah: crying
[5:43:13 PM] Elijah: first
[5:43:14 PM] Elijah: srkdylsryj
[5:43:40 PM] Ashley: Are you crying from laughter?
[5:43:45 PM] Elijah: yes
[5:43:50 PM] Elijah: oh man
[5:43:52 PM] Elijah: okay hang on
[5:44:10 PM] Elijah: He's very defensive about this.
[5:44:15 PM] Ashley: oh my god
[5:44:33 PM] Elijah: HE HASN'T
[5:44:38 PM] Elijah: BUT I THINK HE'S LYING
[5:44:44 PM] Ashley: oh my God I am
[5:44:44 PM] Ashley: dying
[5:44:50 PM] Ashley: thinking about him flipping cookies
[5:44:55 PM] Elijah: i cant even
[5:45:02 PM] Ashley: TIME TO FLIP THE COOKIES
[5:45:04 PM] Ashley: oh my God
[5:45:06 PM] Elijah: ROFLSTKTUDYILSTKU
[5:45:15 PM] Ashley: QUICK MAKE SURE THEY'RE FLAT ON EITHER SIDE
[5:45:20 PM] Elijah: oh
[5:45:20 PM] Elijah: my
[5:45:21 PM] Elijah: god
[5:45:29 PM] Ashley: hasn't he ever noticed how they're only flat on ONE SIDE?!
[5:45:56 PM] Elijah: SRHTD:^ISYRJDLISRYARYSTLU
[5:45:57 PM] Elijah: HE SAID
[5:45:58 PM] Elijah: SRYJUL
[5:46:03 PM] Elijah: HE ADMITTED HE HAD FLIPPED THEM ONE TIME
[5:46:05 PM] Elijah: BUT BURNT THEM
[5:46:09 PM] Elijah: SO HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS WRONG
[5:46:15 PM] Ashley: I AM
[5:46:15 PM] Ashley: GOING
[5:46:16 PM] Ashley: TO
[5:46:18 PM] Ashley: DIE
[5:46:19 PM] Ashley: TO
[5:46:20 PM] Ashley: DEATH
[5:46:37 PM] Elijah: oh god
[5:48:06 PM] Elijah: this has dramatically improved the quality of my life
[5:48:23 PM] Ashley: god this is just like when we adopted our obese cats
[5:48:33 PM] Ashley: like how can I ever be sad again knowing someone out there flips cookies
[5:48:44 PM] Elijah: oh will
[5:48:51 PM] Elijah: you are the best
[5:49:00 PM] Elijah: like pancakes
[5:49:04 PM] Elijah: I just
[5:49:11 PM] Ashley: sd;LKGGGGGGGG

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Time to Flip the Cookies

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