So on my site, it seems like everyone is coupled off. No wait, everyone is coupled off. Now, I dont want to say that I want a character to be unhappy or lonely, thats not what I am saying one bit.

But why on earth do you make a character, and the VERY first thing you do is get in the c-box and say who wants to be "insert charries name here" GF/BF?

It really really really really x a million bothers me. I almost wanted to say that you had to post with a person at least 10 times or something before you decide to date them. But that is adminly abuse blah blah blah. Its really redic, and its not just rash in the plotting. A person will only post with the other person once, and in that one thread fall head over heels and start dating them. Where is the progression, where is the getting to know another person? I know well and good that I dont meet someone on the street and decide I want to be their GF and go gaga over them.

GAH! I mentioned something about it in an announcement because it is really getting out of hand in my opinion but of course no one cares. I know what it is, or have a theory about living vicariously through a character, but it makes me want to scream

JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SINGLE IRL DOES NOT MEAN YOUR CHARACTER HAS TO DATE THE FIRST THING IT SEEEEESSSS

So I am guessing that I want to know how this works on your site. Is it an issue? Do you have certain rules?

This isn't really an issue on my site. What kind of board do you run? I think that often factors into it, because certain kinds of boards GENERALLY attract certain kinds of people.

For instance, my board is historical, and at least 85% of the members are in college. There are quite a few couples, but they're relationships that have been developing for a year and a half, pretty much. I've noticed that the trend of throwing characters randomly because the player just wants them to have a SO is (GENERALLY) more prevalent on high school or real life boards.

And yes, I find it very annoying, too. It's a bother for the minority of people who just want to RP. xD *ETA*

I just glanced at your board and saw that it was Twilight. Twilight puts a great deal of emphasis on relationships, so it's not totally surprising for me that you have this problem. I hope you don't think I was implying that you are this way, either! These are all generalistations, though I know many people who prefer to RP in a RL setting that don't like throwing their characters into relationships.

*sigh* I know. I suppose its something I have to deal with in that kind of game. I tend to think that we are not a teenybopper Twilight site, therefore stuff like that still bothers me. Lol

No, I've never had a request asking 'zomg Charrie A should ttly date Charrie B!!!11'. The relationships on my boards have all happened through in-character threads. At times the spark of a relationship may have bloomed in the IC-box, but we always end up actually threading it out.

Romance is wonderful as a plot device. It's played out in varying degrees on my boards. From twuw wuv to love/hate to sex devoid of love to non-sexual romance.

Admittedly, seven out of my eleven characters across both my boards are either in a romantic relationship of some kind, or are going to in the future by the way plots are going. But I wouldn't say I live vicariously through any of them, nor do I favour these plots over my others, nor do I feel that those seven characters are necessarily more fun for me to play because they have romance plots. They just seem to happen more often. I'm not sure why. But I don't find either myself or my members are throwing their characters at others just to get them to have sex or be soul mates. My members are pretty diverse and creative. Not that I'm bragging >.>

If it's getting that bad though, I'd say you talking about it with your members is a good idea. Though it may be difficult for them to get into other plots. Some people are pretty set in their ways, alas.

My experiences (as an admin/GM) have been pretty much what Alandree said... Character development in-game. There's been a few cases where players (myself included) would brainstorm and create a character to fill a romantic void in a said character's world, but that was never between new players joining and putting up an ad type message on OOC and jumping on-board to get a BF/GF.

So I totally understand why this would drive you crazy, Aymbuh. It reminds of a game I was in once, the admin was a case. After we finished apps, and were approved she suddenly said 'Okay, now everybody hurry and find their squeeze and get lovin'' O_O I left the game. At least in your game you are the admin and can direct what is and isn't suppose to happen.

Maybe adding a new plot line could distract your members from writing a vampire love story? For example if you send vampire hunters after them they won't have time to couple up and the survivors will at least have enough IC time together for a romance plot to make sense.

But then again I don't know the plot of your site or the plot of twilight itself so...
:p

I finally added an area for people to plan out "relationships" and networks on my site (kicking and screaming, mind you XD) but we put a strict rule against asking for Boyfriend/Girlfriends in that fashion.

I personally don't mind it, but I feel like people need to spend the time RPing meeting eachother instead of just going "We're dating!" - after all, if you're only doing it to say "My character has a BF!" then whats the point? If it's not a plot device, it's a waste of time, in my opinion.

So i let people establish, say, former flings and best friends and things like that to help them ease into the game, but not boyfriends/girlfriends. That they have to figure out on their own.

After all, it is a uh, role playing game, not a dating game.

You're not alone Aym, I feel the same way. I might ask someone if they'd be interested in starting a thread and seeing where it goes but I'm not a big fan of the *POOF* relationship.

If you want your site to be more realistic I don't really see the problem with making that posting rule however, maybe you should just try to lead by example (not saying you don't) and RP out the getting to know you part with someone and if it doesn't work out it doesn't if it does well... you know.

...what the heck

the relationship development is the fun part. DDD:

I don't really have this mass dating problem on my board although I kind of... understand from having a character once who I picked up so my friend's charrie could have a romance. We did develop it slowly but... still. Once we got to the romance point that's all she wanted to RP and it was very, very annoying. D| My poor pansy of a guy couldn't go off and do his own thing.

Relationship development is the fun part, I agree!

But I'm also a fan of starting in the middle of something. So I'll make a character just to be dating/married, whatever to another character. I can start playing a character in the middle of their life instead of raising them form birth, so why not start in the middle of a relationship too?
But I realize that's not exactly what you're talking about, it's ridiculous that people will do a thread between charries that have never even met and 2 seconds later they're soul mates. Mmm... yeah OKAY GUYS. It's annoying, but I don't have any set in stone rules against it. I just ignore it and am careful about my plots with those people. Or I don't roleplay with them. Simple as that.

@paperfailsnail: I've 'started in the middle' with success as well. Usually whenever I created or decided to play a character to fill some romantic void it was the spouse, steady GF/BF and it worked out well (although, one or two such cases was living in a nightmare lol). Sometimes it's fun to plan it out with another player (providing you both get on and have the same ideas) on the OOC/PMs then just start playing 'Meet Mr. and Mrs. Brown' in-game. There is still plenty of room for character relationship development, including rifts and advancement, when both parties are having fun and willing to build around plots.

So I agree with everything you said...it only gets annoying when two people make characters bump into each other on the street and suddenly start drooling and with starry senseless monologue go off in their own little world. The only time I'd actually encourage that type thing is for an all out comedy RPG, based on the opening fairytale scene in the film Enchanted. Even in that film the concept was quickly shown to be paper-thin traded for a better alternative ending IMO. :)

I have no idea why games turn into E-harmony.

Lol, I guess I will just let it be, and keep bugging people. I dont think its really rule worthy because that is so freaking commanding I feel like its out of place even though it is my site.

Or just get some ice cream and feel better about the situation ATM

I don't think there is any harm in it unless the person is only roleplaying with whoever they are with. The people doing that are more likely to be the ones who get hurt. If the relationship gets serious too quickly, and one roleplayer bails, then the person left will be the one hurt. Granted, they can keep trying. I've seen that done. Hopefully though, they'll learn that it's better to take things slowly.

I'll add though, that it's also a problem if the person just flirts with everyone they meet. I mean...one of my characters is a flirt. I'll admit that. I don't care if he gets rejected though. I get annoyed with those who ditch the thread because they've been rejected.

In my experience it's been an issue on most sites I've joined or ran. I think they are more prevalent if characters are left to their own devices and don't have a wider, interactive board plot to join in on. But I know there are exceptions; I've seen them. :p

I am also of the opinion that a lot, if not most, people in real life do want to fall in love if they haven't already. I think it's just human nature to desire that. And so our characters reflect that. My characters do not reflect my relationship status or anything, but romantic plots are my favorite. That said, it's not my top priority as a roleplayer; I'm also fine with enemy/friend/whatever lines.

EDIT: Not sure how true this is of others, but here's another theory. I've been RPing for a long time and once I had my first relationship and first heartbreak, it changed the way I saw fictional relationships (in RP and in the media.) I think because many RPers are teens and might not have experienced that, they still might have unrealistic expectations or perceptions, hence why their characters will start dating 5secs after meeting each other.

I've never had somebody approach me and say: "hey, play my character's boyfriend". xD But that could be because I'm very vocal about my "never set in stone" approach. I never claim somebody will be "finals" with my characters. Ever. I always say, whatever happens, happens. I do a little vague plotting towards a goal (like, hey our characters are going to mess with a ouija board, let's see how that goes or my character's going to jump through a trapdoor to escape a stampede and comes across yours in the basement of an old church xD) and then I see how it goes.

As for being in the middle of a relationship, I actually rather like starting somewhere other than "oh, we just met!" so I play a lot of childhood friends, people who were in past relationships with a person (that went all wrong and now have bitter feelings), things like that.

My experience as admin or being on other sites is I have noticed that some people only want to play with the opposite sex so they could be coupled up. I find it very annoying because good plots can happen while a character is single. Every character doesn't need to have a spouse. Some people think they can't survive without their character having an intimate relationship.

For me, I just let it happen. I don't think it is a good idea to plan relationships ahead of time. Developed characters tend to have a mind of their own and they may not click with the person you wish for them to be with because they are single. If characters are good for each other, then you will know.

Sadly, not a lot of people follow that philosophy and they nag everyone on the site or pout because their character is single.

We get this a lot on our game, but I guess it's not unique to us...I'm kind of surprised to see that this does, in fact, happen on supposed "literate" and "advanced" sites as well...where supposedly the focus is more heavily on quality of character development.

There are exceptions, like if someone wants to RP out a complex relationship development over time with a certain other person, but usually, it just seems to be a way of "skipping the hard parts." At least as far as I've seen. And as many of my best roleplaying experiences involved the long term evolution of a relationship, I'd say they're really missing out.

After taking a second look I found out that everyone on my site besides the exception of a few are under 21 years old

That is probably it :p

it's unfortunate, but some players don't actually know how to play out real romance. Where it's actually character-driven and not just the whims of the player.

I've noticed there are a lot of instant gratification players out there. They do it with all their RPing. It isn't just the romantic relationships. They want friendships, rivalries, enemy-ness, plots, whatever to all happen right away.

It amazes me how people don't seem to want to actually play things out. They just want to talk about it and assume it happens. Major story lines are expected to happen overnight. Personally, I like the build up. I like my slice of life RPs, because they make the epic stuff that much more epic. Forming bonds with other characters IG makes it so much more meaningful then deciding stuff over IM's or whatnot.

I don't mean to be rude, but I find that people who do this are often teenagers. When I was a teen it was all the rage to character hop and pounce on the most attractive introduction of the opposite sex. Once we all turned 17,we really didn't care about things like that anymore.
I have a character who is married to the same person for 4/6 (hell probably longer than that!) years and they're still married today. I created her when I was a teen.

As much as I love to write characters in relationships, there are some who are just not written to be in one. A few of my characters are serial monogamous. They do feel it's important to find that one person who is their 'other'. And that is not always easy, just like life isn't always when it comes to finding a relationship that lasts.

I don't think it's that your character ends up in the relationship, as much as if they finally do..that it makes sense. And realizing it's not going to be a faery tale. There are going to be points where they are near to breaking up. Or they might even break up.

Those who jump right into something might find that they didn't really like their character with that person in the first place. Or that writing with the writer wasn't their cup of tea.

Let things ease into that direction, make sure you really want to write with the character/writer both.

That said, I have other characters who are just not going to find anyone special. They aren't made that way. And I don't think they ever will find someone unless they get handcuffed to them, against their will. lol

I'm so happy this topic is here...boy oh boy have I seen this more than once to be honest. I agree that I don't want every character to be sad and lonely but come on, if you make a character only to date another one and that's it..that's annoying. No I don't consider going from this guy to this one and then back to this one a plot >.< when the only reason you keep breaking up with them is because they smiled at another persons character. Give me dept any day of the week lol I can say that one of my characters that's in a relationship didn't happen in about four posts. It was actually a span of many different rp's he and I had...and when he did ask her to be his girlfriend it wasn't all weird, he just asked XD it was so cute..she was 12 and him 13 hahaha and it's wasn't romantic at all, it was kinda like...so I like you and you like me...mhm..ok we're a couple haha but the best thing about it is that it wasn't all oh i love you and can't live without you even after that, they were kids and they didn't know what dating really was. They got older and slowly fell in love, he's 18 and she's 17 now and they are together, still isn't mushy..it's just normal? I love it because when we rp talking about things that happened in the past to them that we're not just writing stuff to write, it really happened in past RP time. I hope I made some kind of sence lol

No I completely get what you are saying and I agree with pretty much everything everyone has said.

I agree with pretty much everything that's already been said lol I never create characters with the intent of immediately having them 'hook up'. At times, I'll create a character (male or female) who is married, but that's only if it works and the idea is conceived between me/another friend/rper. But yeah, getting a character and immediately trying to hook them up is foolish lol

It sounds weird, but I like to play out character dynamics/relationships, and if there's a connection between two of them, there is. If there isn't, there isn't, and I'm not about to force anything just because another player 'happens' to think my character is hot/attractive/etc.

Ugh lol Nothing worse. I swear. Getting pm's or messages from players about wanting to hook up with my characters is like, the ultimate turn off. Like they're writing 'desperate' on their forehead.

I can't stand (and this has probably be mentioned in some form on numerous occasions) it when it turns into an eharmony website. I've known in the past where a character has gone from boyfriend to boyfriend, and if she didn't she became really depressed. Sure, I think it's good to be emotional but please, reality check... this is supposed to be fun. Leave the real life stuff at the door.

Yes, it's fun to have two characters together, but not just 'oh this sounds like a good idea, let's just do it.' Personally I like it when for example characters have a history or don't like each other, that they work it out.. I find that a lot more fun to play out.

Anyway, that's what I think...

Whenever I make a character, normally the romance life isn't involved or thought of yet. Normally. I do have a friend or two though with whom we'll make characters together and have them together and whatnot, but normally it's either canon OR we've discussed extensively the type of relationship the two will have. Ordinarily, I'm not one for just significant other jumping for funzies. However when my characters are in relationships, I try not to make them so blasé. If my friend and I do make characters, their dynamic, which isn't always of the romantic nature (meaning, you know, platonically liking each other; something apparently impossible at times, you know?), then we go for something we haven't tried yet or something that we don't think people around us have truly done well enough or with the proper tact or even pulled off without bastardizing it in some typical or generic way. [It's elitist, most definitely, but it's just how we are. Oh well. We're allowed to be snobby some times. However, and before any goes pulling any cards, doing those dynamics is what we find fun, and if RPing is all about fun, then the whole situation works well for us.]

However most of the time I'm more worried about relationships that aren't of the bed hopping nature. Do you know how many times I've seen people make characters and the character and his or her siblings hate each other or are jealous of each other or a character loves his or her wife/husband/whatever but the other character is cheating on so and so behind his back and blah blah? I really dislike when the ONLY type of family communication that seems to go around is that a family can't be happy and actually like each other and get along. Yes, siblings will argue and fight some and whatnot, but believe it or not there are SOME families where siblings get along or some families where the kids ACTUALLY like their parents and aren't all angsty against them. Perhaps that's just me there though.

It gets on my nerves when I see girls going from this one to that one and being depressed if they don't have someone. I myself have limited the amount of Characters I have. On my HP site I have three, two girls and one dude and they all have reasons why they were made and I can assure you it wasn't because of the opposite sex. One of those happen to be the canon James Potter, who I've wrote to have this inner battle not so much with his family but because of himself, his own actions or lack of there of.

I did post an ad up here for someone to play a girl for him but it's not all mushy lets giggle together and watch the stars up above type of thing, it's all plot related..site plot related which is even better. I need whoever rps her to be the outside view of things from his family so he can finally grow up. He's a very complex character and my worst fear is that someone will take the girl thinking it's all going to be sunshine and rainbows when that's so not the case. Sure in the end they can be together but it's not going to be like love at first sight, oh my gosh I love you..lets get married! Romance is definitely not on his mind at this point in his life. Ha that's happened before to me on my girl character o.O I didn't think it was possible but now we know it is...the dude was the one pushing to be in love with her and I'm like listen we posted like four times don't go trying to kiss me, I will taser you xD

Character relationships are useful for the plot and for character development too. And love is also a part of life... in any time!

Character relationship useful for the plot:

1) I needed a reason, on one board, for my character why he became a pirate. He wasn't the greedy, normal type pirate. So falling in love with a pirate girl and wanting to be by her side was a logical reason. So even from the time when I was creating this character (not the first one on the board, but the other character's brother) I asked whom of the pirate girls wanted a boyfriend... at least for a while, to justify why he turned pirate.

2) Taking a character in the middle of a relationship (or two): I had a RP partner who had that young lady character... who had ran away from a cruel, domineering, insensitive husband who had a mistress and married her for the dowry. Say historical, and yes, it happened a lot in those times! When she needed for the plot the husband played too, as a temporary character, i stepped in and played him. So we were already married when the husband joined the board... and the story went further as planned.

Relationship useful for character development

Yes, love does exist, and does affect the way people see life, act, feel... so it is useful for character development. Unrequited love, broken heart after a sudden break up, love triangles, love at first sight.. anything which makes logic in character and adds a little drama to the plot or explains why a character reacts in a certain way, might do!

Highlight: Yes, playing relationships is fun - be it angst, romance, jealousy, heartbreak... whatever! But it doesn't mean to be the only focus of the story - and mine are adventure -driven, historical... relationships are merely an aspect!