Those that don't mind sex in RP, I'm talking to you. Do you prefer to fade to black or do you like to write them out sometimes? Is there any method to what you'll write and what you'll fade? Or is it just whenever the mood strikes?

It depends entirely on the story. If it's interesting to determine how two characters will react during intimacy, then by all means I'd explore that in writing. If it's not, then I find it boring -- sex for the sake of sex is about as interesting to me as violence for the sake of violence, which is to say not at all -- and if I don't feel it contributes to the story then I won't write it.

That's my rule for any post, though -- I'm one of those writers who edits out extra unnecessary description, for example.

I have to agree with Cal on this- sex is just like anything else. If it's going to be an important thing to the characters, then sure, if the scene turns that way, then I have no problem writing it. But if it's just "random notch on the bedpost" ? What's the point? I mean, the physicality (in my opinion!) isn't really as important as how it impacts on the character.

As for what Ill fade out on? I think that's a matter of comfort.. If it feels forced, then it's a fade-out moment. If not? Well, then clearly there is something still to be said.

I don't really bother unless it's something that affects the development of my character. For example, my character and my friend's character had a continuing sexual tension between them for three years .. three years! And yes, I do mean real life, not just some predetermined back story. When the scene finally played out, it was really exciting. XD

Writing sex for the sake of sex, though .. meh. I don't get any gratification from it. I'll only do it for character development, really, and even then, if the other person isn't comfortable with writing it out, I would gladly, GLADLY let the whole thing fade to black. Pressing that upon someone is just .. wrong, not to mention annoying.

But to answer your question -- yes, I suppose. I mean, it's fun if it affects my character in some way, but otherwise, its just kind of boring.

Sex can get pretty repetitive. I mean...there are only so many different ways you can write it. Sometimes I'm in a mood where I don't mind it. But there was one point in a plot I was doing where we had three threads back to back where that was all there was. Now, each thread was important to the development of the plot, but we both got pretty burned out, I think.

So if it's important to the development of the plot--definitely. But if it's just what's going on then it depends on a lot of factors. How long is it going to be dragged out? Can it be done in no more than two posts each?

I don't mind fade to black as long as it's lead into and lead out of well. If it's like a sudden stop and start, then it throws me off. I dunno. I'm pretty much like Cal, I think.

I wont lie, I have this serious weakness when sex goes wrong. I love when characters fall off the bed, smack the other one in the face with a misplaced knee...things like that. Cracks my s*** up every damn time.

When I get to do that stuff, or if it actually matters in some way, I play it out, If not, then I'm all over fade to black. If I am going to smut, which I do like and have fun doing, that's for MSN. It's between me and the other player and there isn't a point to sharing it.

I was just talking to my friend about this. I had read a story where they put in [CENSORED STUFF HERE] after all this tension in the story and it completely killed the story for me. A well written story turned into crap because the author didn't want to just fade to black in an artistic way. Ugh.

Me, I write out sex scenes sometimes. They aren't all integral to the plot or anything, but after growing up on romance novels, I guess in a way, I emulate it in my writing, too. I just can't get into a story without a cute/tension filled/intense some kind of romance in it. Not all of my characters need it, but I do need at least one character who gets an epic romance at some point in the story. Heck, sometimes I just tell myself there will be one and never play it out, but I still feel more motivated. :3

Sex scenes are boring if it's just for the sake of writing sex, so I will agree completely with Cal there. I write it when it just seems to come naturally at that point in a story.

Also, I don't mind fading to black, and I also don't mind if somebody asks me to do so because they aren't comfortable writing sex. It's all good to me.

I prefer to fade it to black. I'm not comfortable with writing out sex scenes, they're most certainly not my cup of tea. I'm actually not a very physical writer. I only describe movement and environment when it's strictly significant so unless there was something about that scene that needed playing out... no. I wouldn't do it.

Sex itself can be boring to write. However, just like anything else in RP, it's the characters that make it interesting and fun. :3

And yes, in general I have a lot of fun writing them. xDD There is a lot that can be done with them--power dynamics can come into play, hilariously awkward situations can ensue, lovey-dovey moments can be had, issues can surface...stuff like that.

I'm also a big fan of creating hilariously awkward situations for my characters and if they end up getting laughed out of the bedroom (or smacked because they put their foot in their mouth), all the better. Apparently I'm pretty good at having my characters completely kill the mood.

I agree with the opinion of the majority that was expressed in this topic. Writing sex for the sake of sex is pointless. Then again, I am a person who never plays real life RPs which are generally more focused around the relationships of characters and their mental development than anything other kind. Instead, I play RPs where everything centers around something larger than any person by themselves, so sex couldn't be critical to the plot.

But to be honest, I wouldn't write sex even if it was important to the plot. I had a conservative upbringing and do not believe physical intimacy to be something two people can share just for the pleasure - there HAS to be a deeper bond between them (a.k.a. love or at least a serious crush). So I couldn't write it out even if I wanted to, because I can't get so deep into character where their feelings would become mine (it would be disturbing if I could, I think), and that would be a requirement for me to really write something like that without forcing myself and getting lame RP as a result.

Two, I don't find it at all attractive to read something like that. I wouldn't want my special time with a special person to be publicly available, so I can't do it to my characters and I frown upon seeing others do that to theirs. However, I really enjoy playing "foreplay" topics, at some point of which there would be a fade to black, because there is a lot of character development to be done right there.

I tend to fade to black. I don't think I've ever written anything more than heavy petting to be honest. However, like ZombieCzarina said, I do love the idea of RPing out bad sex XD Primarily because sex is never prim and perfect the first time and because of my enjoyment of playing awkward male characters I would very much like to write out an awkward sex scene. It'll be more bumbling than anything actually erotic. I've never gotten to that stage with my characters though.

Also I tend to be in RPs that have less of a focus on relationships and more of a focus on a bigger board-wide thing.

Whether I write out a sex scene depends on a couple of things. Am I comfortable writing with this person? Are they comfortable writing with me? Are there undertones I need to explore or is this just tab A going into slot B? If I'm comfortable I'm inclined, I don't stab through things I don't enjoy. If they're comfortable with me is a big deal too because if their writing is awkward and tentative it's boring and effects the characters. Are there undertones is the big one for me? Is it the first time? Is it make up sex/break up sex? I want there to be more going on then smut. A romantic evening can just fade to black, but other things with depth I want to play out.

Like most others who posted before me, it depends on the situation. I'll write out sex if it has a purpose or my chars need a break (I tend to really put them through the ringer). And it varies from character to character. My main char is very, very sexually oriented and emotionally stunted - in other words, he uses sex to convey emotion because it's all he really knows. Even after years in a relatively healthy relationship he has a hard time talking about 'romantical sh*t' so scenes between him and his now-wife tend to get played out more often. Other chars, it's not as necessary and a fade to black is fine more often than not.

Also as others have said, it can get really boring (as Lorreign said, there's only so many ways to write it), just like writing too much of anything else.

I agree with the above... it's important to somehow be comfortable writing it out with the other. And sometimes it's necessary, sometimes it's not.

and some of my characters who are involved with someone else, we don't always write out their sex scenes - because they've been together awhile and all that, so they're just good together. I tend to do it especially if my characters hook up with someone new, and the fact that they had sex is going to be important to at least my character. Then I like to know what they did, in case my character thinks about it later :)

I always, always, always fade-to-black. There are a few reasons for this. First, it is out of respect to my husband. Second, I find that the romance of scenes is more intense when you don't specify the actions. Last, writing out sex scenes gets really boring. -_-

I refuse to join any RP that enforces a fade-to-black policy. Why? I believe it kills not only the story, but also the muse of the player. I'm an opponent of censorship in all of its forms, including sexual content and violence. To have an intimate encounter happen, and then say "You have to fade to black now", really just kills the story, it kills the characters, and it really brings you back to the knowledge that this is a fictitious world, thus killing the immersion and muse. Though I mostly play in extraordinary RPs like comic books and sci-fi, it doesn't feel like real life when somebody comes in and says "Hey, you can't do that." It's happening, and I feel that if it's "left to the imagination", you really skip over what could be some truly entertaining writing, i.e. falling off the bed or getting kicked in the face as others have specified.

It's pretty much the same for me. I don't mind writing out the scene, but there has to be a character-changing reason...and I'll rarely write a scene for the same pair of characters more than once. There's also indeed the matter of comfort, I've only done sex scenes with people I've been playing with (or at least known) for years. Someones mention not liking publicly accessible stuff, I'm kind of on this wave as well, sometimes it's just...awkward.

When I first started to roleplay, I didn't have a problem with sex scenes. I read them, wrote them, and thought nothing of it. I think most of mine were pretty awful, and sometimes, now that I really think about it, they were written just for the sake of it. They didn't have any plots attached to them, but I was coaxed into them by my rp bff at the time, and she was really the only one I rped them with. That was about five years ago. Now that I've gotten older, I just don't have any interest in sex threads. I don't think I'm particularly good at writing them, so instead of trying and failing, I'd much rather do a fade to black if sex is essential to the plot. I don't know if I should say that I'll never write one, but usually, I find it really awkward. It depends a lot on the person I'm rping with, too.

I have no problem writing sex, but it's often just not that interesting--it's so ubiquitous, just not a writing challenge, and it's important to me that I write about things that are fresh and meaningful. Sometimes it's fun to explore that facet of my character's life, though, and in that case I'll enjoy it. Why not?

I don't even think RPing for titillation is 'wrong' in some way--after all, we always RP for some sort of fun, and obviously staying in-character will still be the most important thing.

That said, I haven't written out RP sex in nearly two years (in part because one of my boards is IF, so it's against the rules). It's not out of some moral compunction... I just haven't felt the need. I will allude to embarrassing sexual inadequacies and so on, but that's all I find amusing or necessary.

I will sometimes narrate lots of foreplay, but the actual mechanics, um... usually aren't that interesting, yeah.

I identify as asexual.

I relate to sex scenes in the same way I relate to food scenes. Watching someone eat food is the most boring thing ever. The description of tasting delicious food does not allow me to actually partake in the experience of the eater. You say how it tastes, I watch you chew. But what's fun about food is tasting it.

For me, it's the same with sex. Watching, reading or writing sex scenes missed the entire point to me. The good stuff that's going on is internal intimacy things that I just can't access when someone's telling me about it. It's boring.

Sex I have is meaningful to me. Food I eat is enjoyable for me. Watching, reading or writing about others doing it - blah.


(I also have strong opinions on whether or not sex should be written in RPs and how that should happen and in what situations. But in answering this question, I operated under the idea that the OP posed: if you think it's good to do, how do you feel about it.)

I agree with Cal and SmathNa as well. Sometimes I fade to black, sometimes I don't. It all depends on circumstances and plot, etc. Sex is a part of life, and playing it out in RP can be both fun and a way to explore character.

No. This is the internet, and anyone can read what you write and anyone can be your RPing partner. It's not necessary to write it out when a fade to black would be more appropriate.

no. no point too. one, I'm not fond of romance that much these days, a scene like that would be rare for me. secondly, I just don't wanna see my chars nekkid LOL.

and, it's kinda boring anyway.

I don't per-say enjoy it but I'm not totally against it, I've done it in my time but only with people that I'm at ease with and have known and if it's a character of theirs that I know fairly well, as well as one rper can know another rper's character.

The reason I don't like them is because can get boarding and tedious at times depending on the situation. It also doesn't serve much in the way of actual real thought a lot of times, from my experience. I'm not against it by any means i just don't find it interesting. I do however feel that the fact t that most sites have required that is not so much blamed on the owners as the fact that a lot, if not most TOS's kind of make it clear that they need to or the site can be deleted.

I don't mind sex scenes. It's not always appropriate, but I don't believe that it's always bad. A good sex scene can be just as interesting and character building as any other.

I've noticed that I feel less inclined to write out sex scenes for my more promiscuous characters. The only one I've ever done it for was probably my most internal, anti-social, mentally disturbed character. xD

I'm the same way. xDD

I think probably because if I did write sex scenes for every encounter my promiscuous characters had...it'd be the bulk of what I was writing with them. =__= Besides, most of their encounters aren't meaningful so I'm just not inclined to go into them. xD

Don't think a scene needs to be character changing. It shows something about the character, just like about anything else the character does. As for whether or not to fade to black, that depends on the characters, the other player, and the situation.

Exactly. My slutty characters treat sex a lot differently than the others. It's like a thing to pass the time, or in some of their cases, a thing they do to try and feel as if they're wanted, rather than anything worth detailing.

If it serves to convey something more than the physical act itself, if there are feelings and reactions I want to explore that wouldn't come naturally before or after the fade to black, then I have nothing against writing out the sex scenes.

But like someone has already said above, it's important to know who you're writing with and to be comfortable writing it with them.

This, I feel, is subjective. What I mean is that if and when I write sex scenes, I find out from the other person just how far they want to go. Not how far 'I' want to go, that I'm comfortable with writing. I don't have a problem writing about sex, but I think sometimes it's more what isn't said.

I had two characters that were both mine who had a night together, so of course I wasn't going to rp a sex scene between myself. That would be too odd, it was just one of those things that happened that people knew had happened.

Hopefully that makes a little bit of sense... :lol:

I've done it. Twice. The first time was because it was a major event between the characters. Second time was to show how the characters are with each other and figuring them out myself. It's the same reason I write any scene between characters that are mine.

Sometimes it's fun, sometimes I'm for fade to black. For character development, I'm all for it, but sometimes it's just entertaining. I don't really feel any need to justify it after a few years of attempting to: RP is for fun, sometimes (often?) writing sex is fun, especially if I like the characters and my writing partner. Why do I need high-falutin' reasons to write it?

Only if it's not gratuitous. As a rule, I only write out the things that people wouldn't automatically know was happening, and that is usually very little.

Long sex scenes actually bore the hell out of me.

{In my current game we have a PG/PG-13 rule too so that puts a damper on things! But I mean in general.}

I've been handling a site set in England, 1519 for two years now, and sex was not as 'taboo' a topic back then as it is today. The site has had a lot of amazing writers, and more often than not, we write out the sex scenes as they were. It wasn't like a whole 10-post thread with 2,000 words a piece was about the sex, not at all. Two or three posts would suffice then we'd move on. It really depends on how you write it. Most of the time, for me at least, the sex was a part of the story. It was a way of further developing the character. I've always believed in being as real as possible with roleplaying. And well, writing these scenes allows me to dig into the more 'primal' part of my character.. e.g. a character who's highly conscientious loses himself to the woman he never thought he could possess--and how that scene plays out, how the sex goes, will affect some part of him in the future. So I'm not opposed to it. It's part of the character's story. So I'd tell it as it is.

I have found that if you offer people the choice of doing things like this most do it once, maybe tiwce and grow bored with it and move on. I the other hand find it fun at times and of course it does not need to be long and drawn out, but it gives me a chance to mentally try someone or something else on for a while. Its more of a I can't have it in rl lets try it here. Hence my looking for a site always that is based in the courtesans style where it is not taboo or frowned upon.

I as a writer enjoy it when the post are 100-300 words per post per person

If its longer than that its rather boring and I refuse to read it.

As to fade to black it depends on the sites rules on that. On my own there are things I will ask people to fade too (like if it gets too violent) or if they use porn language. there are methods of describing things with out using swear words for the body parts.

Rule of thumb think romance novel

the Sadist: think romance novel indeed! :)

I do believe that one can draw roleplaying out with the description of what's going on around ones characters. It makes for a richer story. Personally, my posts average at about 1,200+ words per post. I enjoy giving my partner as much information as I can about the world around my character, even incorporating NPCs into the post more often than not. But to each his own style right? :)

Depending on the character(s) in question then I think sometimes the sex is justified; there's a justified reason as to why people are a little wary when it comes to sex, because if its just there to fulfill some perverted need to read something then it becomes written pornography. But when it's actually planned out and justified and theres a reason behind why they're having sex, then fair enough. But you wouldn't want to write out every sex scene between a couple who were really dedicated to each other. You'd write one or two. There kind of needs to be a point to them having sex - like if the girl got pregnant afterwards you might want to have written the sex scene, but again it's not necessary.

I generally just insinuate that a character has had sex or is having sex. While I don't use the "fade to black" method often, sometimes I see no reason for a character to have sex and choose to skip it. People can assume that two characters in a relationship are having sex without having to see new kinky threads every other posts.

Then again, I try not to make a character where I have a need to fade to black or worry about a suspicious amount of adult threads. I try to be realistic about when and how a character has sex. Having sex isn't always awesome, for example. I actually dislike a "mary sue" sex experience every time because it gets boring. So adding more human elements to their intimacy makes it more interesting to me.

I can go either way, but given a choice I would prefer to RP out sex scenes rather than fade to black. Interesting stuff can happen between two characters involved in an erotic scene that would normally not otherwise come to light. I feel that it can enrich characters and their relationships to others.

Of course, there's always the possibility that it can become gratuitous, something of which I've certainly been guilty many times over. But I think that to completely cut out erotic scenes is to throw the baby out with the bathwater; some good things can come out of them that you don't expect.