Whee! I love rants. ^_______^ Maybe too much. But I don't care. <3

I hate several things about the way some people role-play, so I figured I'd post them for you all to see! =D And for you to share your own.

1. Using colours LIKE THESE for your entire posts. Is that really readable on a white background? Or this? I think not.
2. Saying "ummmmmmm" - that's not how it goes. Ummmmmmmm is not a word; and it shouldn't be inside speech marks. It's a noise; you don't say "fart" unless you're saying "omgdz, that fart stinks!"
3. Saying "hahahaha" - that's not how it goes either! Laughing is laughing; it's an action. You said "John laughed" not "HAHAHAHAHAHA."
4. People who have EVERY. SINGLE. THREAD. END. UP. WITH. SEX. Do you go around, meet someone have sex with them within ten minutes? IN HIGH SCHOOL? No; so why should these people?
5. People who have their characters walk up to people their character hasn't even met before and say "HEY SEXY." Do I even need to explain that one? It sounds idiotic.
6. People putting pictures at the top of their first post. And then the second post. And the third.. and fourth. Oh, and fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth, too! In fact; all of them! Why do you need it? In the first post, fine, you've shown us what your character looks like, but we don't need reminding! Just because there's a picture of your play-by wearing certain clothes doesn't mean you can't make up an outfit for them either.
7. People saying that their character is "head of.." or "queen bee" or "the best at.." in their applications and posts, when they're brand new and people barely know what the character is like yet.
8. People who've never heard of a thesaurus. There are a million other ways to say the word "said" (or maybe a little less than a million; I could be exaggerating). But seriously; "she said" or "he said" just isn't fun for eyes to see and read.
9. WRITING IN LOWERCASE. RAWR. Where to sentences end? Did you put a perios by accident? Did you mean to put a comma? I CAN'T TELL.
10. STUPIDLY small fonts. Especially when the forum font is small enough without having to have [size=0] tags everywhere.
11. Lack of punctuation. D= It makes me sad inside. Just because you put bold tags doesn't mean that it's making me know your character's talking. Some people use bold tags to express words, and that's fine. But if you do something like this: "John was happy. How did you know I like cake?" then you missed out on years of English lessons, I see. (I even put speech marks on the inside of the bold tags, because I'm used to doing it. x.0).

-bounce!-

I agree with most of your list. :[ I'm okay with whole posts being in a legible color that goes with the skin; however, I don't like it when people format specifically they're dialogue. Bolding dialogue is okay, I suppose, but making it ~like this~ is annoying and ugly!

However... #2. I say "Umm." I know people that say "Umm," and I know lots of books in which characters say "Umm" or something similar. Like in Harry Potter, when the characters say "Errr..." The same kind of applies to "ha ha." I don't hear people saying that sincerely, but if you're nervous or being sarcastic, actually writing out "ha ha" works, I think. :p

#5 OMG this is one of my pet peeves... I hate it when people are so concerned with making their characters clever/super self-confident ALL THE TIME. Ugh. But I do know some jackasses who greet people like that, at parties. :p

#5 I sometimes do in real life. It's fun, you should try it. I think it's a form of flirting, but I might be wrong about this. Although maybe I change 'Hey Sexy' to something in the same vein, so nevermind, carry on.

Well... for #1 it depends on the skin of the board in question - generally, I know better than to use light-colored text on light-colored backgrounds, or dark-colored fonts for similarly dark backgrounds - but I have to confess that I do use colored text myself when I'm playing more than one character in the same thread in order to differentiate dialogue between characters.

For #2 and #3, I have no problem with it, really - sound words, in my humble opinion can add some atmosphere and effect, provided they aren't overdone, of course, for example:

For #4 and #5... ugh... I don't even need to get started on those.

And for #7... that stinks of Mary Sue/Gary Stu-ism, so yeah, that pisses me off too. #8 and 9 and 11 are pretty annoying too, although it's pretty standard I would say.

Lots of writers (Raymond Carver, whom I hate, but hey...) actually favor 'said' over the more exotic flowers of speech taggery. Why? Because it isn't ****ing uselessly pretentious and it doesn't distract from what actually IS said. I tend to try expressly to stick with either 'said' or no tag at all. Nothing wrong with blank dialogue in quotes, what ho?

Agreed on all points except #2 and #8.

I say 'umm' a lot and I know a lot of people who say 'err' as well (namely my grandparents, because they're British and according to them the Brits say 'err' and the Americans/Canadians say 'uhh' and 'umm.') However, drawing it out to 'ummmmmmmmmmmm' seems stupid.

#8 I only semi-agree with, because if the writer is good enough the dialogue will speak for itself and even 'said' becomes unnecessary. But there's also the opposite evil, which is NEVER using the word 'said' and insisting upon using every bleeding word other than 'said.' Even if it doesn't really suit. Even if it's archaic and no one uses it anymore. Even if it sounds awkward and awful and BLEEH!

Side-rant: This does not solely apply to the word 'said.' Some people are too eager to flip through the thesaurus and find a longer word because it will make them sound clever. No. It does not sound clever. It proves that you are capable of searching an index in a thesaurus or typing a word into the search engine on thesaurus.com. Whoopdeedoo. I once read a passage in which almost every word looked like it had been taken from the thesaurus. They used 'tenebrous' because apparently 'dark' or 'gloomy' is too mundane.

Yes. Only simpletons use the word 'dark' when describing an unlit dungeon. The Einsteins among us use 'tenebrous.' *shake fist*

1. I agree. Use the default text color for the skin, please.

2. I say "ummm" all the time. It's a verbal pause and a habit I'm trying to get out of, but it is VERBAL none the less. Therefore, it goes in quotations marks. If you fart and the noise comes out of your mouth, then you have a serious medical problem. However, if you are making fart noises with your mouth, that is something else entirely. I like to write that like "Ptthhb!"

3. I disagree. I say "Ha!" all the time- usually in triumphant 'in-your-face' situations. I also say "ha ha" sarcastically. I don't generally use onomatopoeia when one of my characters laughs, though- as long as it's a genuine laugh. But they do occasionally use the "ha" sound for non-genuine laughing purposes and I do write that out. I also know a guy (yes, a male) who literally sounds like he's saying "heheheheheeee," when he laughs. It's hilarious, and if I made a character who laughed similarly, I would write out the "hehehee."

8. I don't think it's wrong to use the word 'said' often. Using a different word every time breaks up the flow of the dialogue and distracts from what is being said. I don't want the narrative to distract from the dialogue; I want it to help it. An occasional substitute word is fine. But avoiding 'said' and using a different word every time is over doing it and just ridiculous.

9. Writing is all lowercase is the devil.

#1, 4, 9, and 10 I agree with. 10 has been an issue lately and when the site's default font face does not make reading small text easy I'm glad that I always copy/paste the previous post in word. 12 pt. font for the win!

I think I disagree most with 2, 3, and 5.

In regards to people saying um. There's actually a term for this in the public speaking world. Ums go with Ah's too. They are verbal pauses. Yes they are not words much like Uh-huh, but they are part of speech. You hear them everyday. In fact public speakers are trained to avoid these sounds in order to sound more eloquent. They are in everyday speech and I see no problem with them being stated.

To Haha, I say this as well but it is usually in a sarcastic manner such as: You are so funny. Ha, Ha."

Now in regards to both my disagreements with 2 & 3, there's a time and a place. If I was in a Fantasy role play or a historical one where the setting makes no sense for someone to say these things then yes, it would bug me. Just as much as it would bug me if a character that is supposed to be British didn't refer to their sweater as a Jumper. However if it is modern day or present history the setting fits.

Number five though I have the most problem with. One, it happens in everyday life. Go to a bar and watch the frat boys who think they are gods gift, they say these things. I have encountered many realistic characters who do exactly that. They are confident, usually over confident and would have no problem approaching a stranger they found attractive with a "Hey Sexy." It's called flirting. Now a character that is usually shy and withdrawn, unless they were drunk or on some wonder drug I couldn't see that being appropriate. However if this is part of the character's personality from the get go to be forward and outgoing (also flirtatious) have at it.

That's what I meant by number 2. :] I use "uh.." sometimes, but I see people going "uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.." and it's uber-annoying.

And the whole laughing thing too. I just see people go "hahahahaha" but I still use "ha" though mainly in a sarcastic way. xD

Ugh. Small font. I hate small fonts x.x Maybe it's because their computers are set at a 500 zoom level. EhEh. *needs to go to specsavers*

the colours i can stand? :sweat: Some times i like to use my characters speech a differnt colour, but heck, i never use yellow on a white board. That's just stupid. *smacks head*

LOL! I no what you mean. I hate how people's characters are so comfortable just talking to any old Jim or Jane, specially since half of the time their character is shy. Pfft. But i guess in the world there ARE people who do go up to people and say that. Just... not everyone. I don't. :o

The sex thing is the general reason i don't play on high school boards ^_^ I was sick of the whole "Hey, your hot, LETS DO IT." thing that always seems to happen in threads :p

The "Um" and "Haha" thing i do do (haha do do x.x ) XD But i usually describe the laughing part, rather then write it, unless i have a "HA you're kidding right?" In a post, in which case it's sarcastic? I write Umm, usually with two mm's or i write "Uhm". o.O

*Nodnod*

Ha, do do. XD

But yeah. I didn't mean that all "uh" and "ha" and stuff were evil. XD I use them. Just.. not in excessive amounts. I say them if I need to. Not because I can.

While I agree that there is a time and a place for all these things, as a general guideline they are good to avoid.

One that you didn't mention that gets my hackles up: quoting inside a post. This is usually used to pad out length, quoting each sentence and then responding individually in a single post. That makes me CRAZY. I'm sorry if you wanted to interject in the middle of my character's sentence. You can't do that, he already said it. :b

With really extra-long posts where a whole lot of dialogue went on, paraphrasing every line of speech is even more annoying than just quoting what the other character said and then having your character respond. This only happens to me with the really long posts that went all over the place.

Short posts, quoting is easy to avoid. Long ones with lots of dialogue... no. If there was no quoting with those, then I'd constantly have to go back and think 'now which question is he answering again?' -_-*

The easy way around that is not not write extra-long posts with so much dialog that you feel like you have to break it up. Split those things into different posts instead! It makes the board look more active because it gets your post count up, and then you don't have to worry about mucking up the flow of the story. Win-win!

I use "um", "ah", "er", "eh", and other various sound effects in my characters' speech. :B Because those are things people actually say, and plenty of writers use those things in dialogue. *shrug* However, moderation is key like in all things, and it'd make me twitch if I saw it being written as "ummmmmmmmmmmmm". O_o

I also use "ha" and whatnot. I'll have characters go, "Haha...very funny." Sarcasm and all that. A nervous laugh I may denote with a "Ahaha..." Maybe it's a personal quirk, but I've heard people laugh nervously like that. And I do it, too. Sometimes, writing out "He laughed nervously" can just get dull. Sound effects can be fun.

AH! One thing that REALLY bugs me.

Ellipses abuse! Dx

I use ellipses. They can be quite useful. But migawd, when your prose and dialogue starts sounding like William Shatner's reading it, UR DOIN IT RONG. They should be used sparingly.

Word. I've started to write only like...one bit of dialogue per post if I can help it, because I started to notice this phenomenon that occurred whenever I went dialogue-happy:

TIME TRAVEL.

My character would say something early on in the post, and then a bunch more stuff, and then the other poster felt like they needed to reply to all the dialogue in their post, which resulted in their character replying to things that happened earlier in the conversation that they were already way past...and some of the things they said were things my character WOULD react to, so then I'd reply to those things, with things their character WOULD react to...

And it basically resulted in a big jumbled mess where, at one point, half of our post ws the characters were in the room, and the other half was they were already out of it--simultaneously! *headdesk* In a nutshell, too much dialogue created a time paradox for us.

And as a result, I now only include a little dialogue per post, and usually at the end if it's a back and forth conversation (if the character is telling a story, that's different--I don't expect the other character to reply to the story point by point until the character is done since it's not a conversation). That way the other poster can reply properly--and we don't create time paradoxes. x___x

That's become a huge pet peeve of mine. xD

*hangs head in shame* I'm sorry! I love them! Granted, it is never William Shatner-esque that would be hell of a whole new special kind.

I ALSO hate when someone replies to a piece of dialogue you did earlier in the thread. Paradoxes for the loss.

Maybe it is just a style but I hate it when people do dialogue like a script on a play by post board. So instead of saying " Fiona said, 'Have a nice day!'" they do like sort of an IM style with "Fiona: Have a nice day!" Just something about it bothers me. Sort of like when people put symbols or little ornaments at the beginning of each paragraph. Like ".x." Really what's the point of it?

ARUGH! I know EXACTLY what you mean. These time paradoxes happen to me all the time. It's supremely irritating! I will have to take Cal's advice and try and keep it to one important piece of dialogue per post.

This means I will have to somehow persuade my friend to make her posts shorter. I'll remind her that school will be time consuming so she'll only have time for one page posts instead of seven.

You think I'm exaggerating? She wrote me twelve pages once. TWELVE! I think our characters were in three different places in that one post D:

Part of me loves these long posts though, since it gives me lots to read and when I love the character... more of that characters is ALWAYS better. Perhaps I need to be a little less greedy.

Okay, that was a little off-topic for this rant. As you were *shuffles off*

How do you think we ended up with so many teenage mothers?? There is no stork!

I generally dislike anything that involves altering the font (unless it's for small portions to communicate sneaky thoughts, or if they are making a default font bigger). I don't think it's cute and I will not respond to a thread I have to zoom in to read. I'm in it to play, not to decode teeny tiny font. It's made more awkward for me because I have a 1280x1024 resolution. So small font is really small.

Oh my God, this gets on my nerves so much too! I'm glad I'm not the only one; it has got to be the most annoying thing in the world having to reply to a disjointed post. I've also taken to limiting my dialogue because of it but somehow people still manage to do it with two lines of text separated by words such as "paused briefly before adding". Argh!!!!

I don't have a problem with dialogue time-travel things. I guess a little unrealism has always worked for me.

I disagree with worrying about people writing 'ummmm'. Because I do it. I say it more often. Sometimes I can say 'um' for several seconds. And then repeat myself. I really do abuse it. But that is proof that it happens in real life too. Sometimes 'um' doesn't convey just how long this person is dragging it out.

Okay, I can go up to someone in real life and say 'hey sexy', so a character is even easier xD I've been known to shout to people that I love them from balconies in malls. I've asked total randoms for dates without any introduction. Although I'd hate it if it was out of character or happened every time they started a thread, it's still realistic if it happens occasionally.

I've noticed that I very rarely read the word 'said'. I just skip it. I know by the quotation marks that it's speech, so whether the person said it or expectorated it (ew) doesn't matter too much there. It's if it matters how it's said that these words come into play. In a normal conversation people mostly are just saying things, so using 'shouted' or 'murmured' wouldn't work, because it wouldn't be true. Said is quite often the perfect word to use and people probably won't notice it unless it's gone.

Writing in lowercase? Seriously? Although capitals do make things a bit easier, you can tell quite easily by the way the words flow whether it's correct. And I have many friends who Capitalise in the Middle of sentences Anyway, So that screws Everything all up, doesn't It? Some People Even Capitalise Every Word, Which I Think Should Be A Bannable Offence. But you can still tell that my sentence doesn't end after the capitalised word. likewise, this is still quite easily read.

I have to say a lack of punctuation makes things darn hard to read. It's still possible to read something without punctuation but you have to insert the pauses yourself and of course theres quotation marks and all that missing Id rather read something in all lowercase than without punctuation

-dance-