I need some advice on what I should do. I know I have a problem is that I could be ocd and strict, but that just because I want to make sure everything is good. So I started a new site with friends, I know we have different opinions on something but we managed it. And then the site opened and of course we admin need to fill in the application. We need to look over each other’s application and I found there’s something I would like her to edit. The appearance description part is subjective and biased. When I see a member’s application has too subjective word, I would ask them to edit out. You know, stuff like “Lily’s stare is fierce and is envied by everyone”, sth like that. Because I respect her as an admin, I didn’t post in her application with a list of stuff that I would like her to edit. In fact, I pm’d her. And I had asked her to edit the words out or at least change it to first person. So that it would just be the character’s opinion and would only imply the character is very confident about her look. Two days passed but she hadn’t edited it yet. I had asked her to change it and she just replied me “k.” It makes me feel bad when I asked a member to edit out the braised words in their application because I could imagine them saying, ‘well you admin’s is like that too.’

And we had another site that we’re the admin too. But honestly, in the past few months it was me who was holding up the site. They all gone and started other sites while the theme is similar, you know, high school. I didn’t blame them because I had abandoned some sites before due to personal stuff. I asked the main admin to come back. She said yes and came back but gone later and started some other sites. Recently the other admin came back and suggested that we could start another site. Okay, so finally we had built another site, that’s the above new site^. And at the same time, I know this old site is starting to be old, and honestly sometimes I would think maybe I should just let it die, but I didn’t. I’m still there and advertise for it and roleplay. The admin who started another site with me posted the new site’s ad in the advertising forum and pinned it. That’s okay. A day later she posted it in the announcement forum with a few words that ask the old site’s members to join. It made me didn’t know what to do. Honestly I didn’t like it. I afraid the old site’s members would think I’m going to abandoned the site. So I did something silly, I bumped some other thread in the announcement forum. But she bumped back that thread.

I don’t know what to do. I know I should talk to her through IM but I also afraid that she would think I’m too manipulative and hate me. How to keep a good admin and admin relationship? Maybe it my problem that I should loosen up and be more laid-back?

You don't seem to be the problem here (from what I could glean from your story). If you two agreed to do it for each other then you must treat her as a member and not accept her character until she has made the required edits.

As for the second: I say that you should delete that post in the announcement forum. It's for announcements pertaining to that site and a new site isn't relevant to that. Explain to her over IM if she wants to know why or something like that, that you want to keep that site alive and you're afraid if there's an announcement to go to another site people might leave.

I would most definitely agree with Emma here. Honestly, she doesn't have the right to post something like that in the announcements. The announcements are meant for updates pertaining to that forum, not another site that just opened. I would even say she is being underhanded and given the past explained events between you and her... she probably thinks she can just get away with it.

Delete the post in your announcements and let her know that she also doesn't get special treatment (regarding her application). Don't worry about her getting mad because you are not being unfair or mean in any way, you are just doing your job. If she complains, stand firm and let her know she can't flounce around and get away with stuff like that. Not to be mean, but to be fair on all levels whether she is a (co)admin or not.

I, again, agree with everything here. But I'd like to add that if she pushes the issue on the other site's advertisement, you can offer to become sister sites and have her add your ad in the same way she's added her own. Then, in the announcement, let the members know you're not leaving, just adding an addition to your site family in this new sister site.

As for the application, I have such a hard time sticking to my guns here. I always want to just go ahead and let the other person do what they want as admin, but it's been the downfall of at least one of my sites. So, learn from my mistakes and stick to your original opinion. Let her know that this isn't anything personal, that it's not an attack against her personally, but that for the quality of the board, the admins' applications in particular need to be above and beyond.

I'm definitely with Emma on her suggestion of what's fair is fair or just straight up delete the post. There's a reason there's affliations. XDD

But, in all honesty, I think you might need a new team. Admins are supposed to go over everything together. At least, this is how I feel. I currently admin one site with the fabulous ShinLi [I'm her co-admin. She's the head honcho.] I talk to her about everything first. Applications, additions, to the site, and possible ideas for the board. You need to set the rules straight with your co-admin. Tell her upfront and without delay that all things she's adding on the board need to go through you and vice versa. Although the board belongs to ShinLi, she'll still ask me as well. A simple, "Hey, I was thinking about doing this... What do you think?" Is all that's necessary to make a great adminstrative team.

As far as applications go, I treat them all the same regardless of whether I know the player personally. The suggestion you made as to switching it to first person is a brilliant suggestion and you should stick to it. Claiming in an application that all characters envy her is somewhat an example of god-modding and perhaps not all characters will envy her. You should perhaps point this out to her as well? Not exactly that god-modding bit because harsh words may follow, but yeah. XDD

Well, I hope I've been helpful to the situation and that things go smoothly for you!
--Kity

that happened to me once, with the same admin she's talking about and she just left the site.

i'd just ask her about it then run the site yourself.
the site's been up that long and you were the only admin.
i think it could be still running with you as the only admin on it, too.