Okay...so. I'm just confused. I don't understand how something as minor as PBs are so important that someone has to threaten to leave if me and my fellow co-admin don't choose either art or RL ppl. I just don't understand that. We want the option to be open up for the members because each of us have a different preference. We both understand our preferences. We just don't want to choose one because it cuts off options for members. Not to mention, something as pointless as PBs should not be something to quit over.

So, yes, I'm a bit angry at this as my co-admin tells me about it. She's upset. I don't blame her. I really don't. It kinda upsets me too because it feels like we're being backed up into a corner because we don't want to choose one, but we also don't want our other co-admin to leave. Well, I didn't.

To post something on the site about how it's some disease you can't control is confusing. I don't understand that. And why the hell would ANYONE compare not liking two different PBs to depression?! Last I checked, depression was a chemical imbalance in your brain. Not liking two different PBs was a personal dislike. I guess I fail at understanding how those are similar.

We all have pet peeves. I don't like white backgrounds. I think they look ugly. They hurt my eyes. I hate horrible grammar. I don't like the hiccups. Rap is horrible.

But when it comes to something as stupid as PBs?! I just don't care. I really don't. It should be up to a person if they use artwork or RL people. There shouldn't have to be a choice. At all.

There could have been something much more workable. My co-admin and I were willing to try to make some sort of deal, but the more we tried to think of something, the more we got discouraged because we didn't want to loose a co-admin on a brand new site. We have no members to talk to to get opinions. So we came here and my co-admin went to get some elsewhere.

And now she's mad at us?! She's mad at us? You have got to be kidding me. I don't think she has any right to be mad. She's not the one backed into a corner not knowing what to do. We don't want to lose her as a friend and a co-admin. We don't. We're upset, and yes, a bit angry. Why can't we be angry at her?! I mean, she is threatening to leave us for something so minuscule as a PB choice that is somehow like depression.

So I'm not happy and I'm not civil. I don't do well with disappointment. I was looking forward to this site with the three of us and she just slammed it back into my face. Now, I just want her to leave so we don't have to see her ever again.

Have any of you had some situation like this? I would like to know how to deal with it? I'm trying so hard to not be angry anymore.

Okay, just to clear things up here, since it's kind of rude to rant about someone where s/he can see it. I suspect she's expecting a reply since she is posting it here.

I have an anxiety problem. I don't let it run my life when it comes to the important things, but when it comes to roleplaying -- I roleplay to have fun, all right? My mind is overactive, and when it comes down to certain things (small things, not always things I really want to dislike, not all the time), I can't think. I can't concentrate. I can't sleep. And look -- I try and deal with it at school, at work, all that good stuff. But when I'm roleplaying? For fun? Please. And I hope you all understand what lengths I'm not willing to go through for something as small as this.

So I asked my fellow mods and admins to please understand, I'm sorry I have to opt out, but I am honestly not up to it. One of them acted like she understood, that she knew what I meant; then the other one posted saying that it was unfair and she turned a full 180 degrees on me, and they both decided that I'm obviously doing this to make their lives difficult. If I'd noticed that there would be a problem earlier, I wouldn't have spent as much time as I have helping them work on a site that I would never play at. I don't mean to sound like I'm threatening or blackmailing them.

So, okay, I can understand that they don't understand, or that they're angry. Just let me go. It's not like I mean to ditch them. I know they think I'm just trying to screw them over, and I feel bad about it. I offered to help them finish up with the information and to get the site started. Then came the tagteaming. I wasn't angry about the PBs. I was angry because one girl who acted like she understood suddenly turned and decided that she'd be upset at me instead, once she had the other mod behind her back.

And then I get this:

[username removed] (1:31:18 AM): Listen you. You were the idiot that told [name removed] either pick one or the other or you were going to leave. How mature is that? You have backed us up against a wall.

What a great way to start a conversation. I tried to be polite, but it went downhill from there.

Did she really say it so flat out as you're saying? I doubt that if this truly bothers her that she would say things that would really make you feel like you're being backed into a corner, or presenting threats.

In any case, you should be sensitive to peoples' feelings. Although it may be perplexing to you, it is very possible that something like this can really bother a person. Perhaps not quite depression, but anxiety and OCD types of disorders. I know that I have the same sort of thing - it's one or the other, otherwise the site is too mixed up. I don't like RPing with one character with pictures in familiar styles with real life PBs, and then playing with someone with a bunch of anime characters and blush marks.

As an admin, you need to be more understanding.

I also highly doubt she presented this issue as strongly and as harshly as you're suggesting.

If I feel you are not doing the situation justice, especially when I'm the one you're ranting about, I don't see why I should sit around and just let it happen.

I'm a second party, but basically, I got that she didn't want both and was going to leave. I got mad because that screwed us over with what we were doing and it deeply upset my co-admin. It upset her!

She said she didn't want to lose her as a friend and a co-admin, but she didn't know what to do. I suggested things, but it wasn't helping anything. I was trying my hardest to help both parties.

But then her comment to us on our site just kind of broke my caring.

I don't have anything else to say. I've explained my part.

I'll also re-emphasize that I was polite. Angry, yes, but polite.

First and foremost - anyone who limits an RP to anything other than the art of storytelling and acting characters out, particularly in reference to PBs v. Art and graphics, IMO, is not an RPer.

RPing is not about wowing the other members and crap like that with your choice of picking the new heroin-chic model for your banner or biggest Disney Star for your character. RPing is not about keeping up with the Joneses in terms of fonts, skins and all that extra crap. It's not about going to graphic sites and seeing whose tutorial you can rip to create your banner.

RPing, for me, and I'm saying this as a person who has been RPing for a while, is about the WRITING. Graphics is nothing more than a pretty cover for sites that can otherwise be quite trite in their plots.

And if anyone wants to leave over PBs and all that crap, then goodbye. They've missed the point of RPing in the first place.

I agree with you, Anti, which is not uncommon. lol

I just don't understand I guess.

Ew! Nu!! We aren't going to allow anime! lol

Realistic Artwork and Real Life people was our ideas. Deviantart is a wonderful site.

Lady Hikari, I don't think you're trying to understand, either.

People have OCD and anxiety issues. These people are not exempt from the Internet - you will find them here, and they will have their preferences when it comes to certain sites according to these things that can deeply bother them because of their OCD or anxiety. It is not so uncommon.

Yes, it's unfortunate that she's leaving, but I doubt that means she's going to break off friendship with the other co-admin. However, you need to understand her issues - if you can't do that, how can you understand the issues your members may have?

It seems that she also offered to help you finish up the info and other things she had originally wanted to assist you with. So, in the end, you will still get everything done - or would have if you had not had such an insensitive and rather rude reaction, which you are displaying now - but she won't be with you after, for the opening.

Personally, I think you should have kept your cool, understood her problems, been sensitive and compassionate to her issues while you may be unable to relate, and take her up on the offer of finishing up the site, even though she may plan on leaving afterwards.

Kyi, it wasn't the fact that she was offering to do those things for us, it was the fact that she was going to leave. We're disappointed and very offended.

As I said, I don't understand. I have Anxiety problems. Everyone does, but I don't let that control me and especially on a RP site. I agree with Anti fully. It's not about the pretty pictures. It's not about the fonts and the colors. It's about the writing and the fun that should come with it.

Coming out saying that you're going to leave because you don't like having more then one type of PB is like a slap to the face. I don't understand her thing with PBs and, at this point, I'm not really wanting to. Not after what she said on our site. She never once confronted me about it. Not once. I can't understand if they don't try to let me.

And the second she tried comparing it to depression was the second that I stop caring. My mother is clinically depressed. Depression should not be compared to something as silly as PBs. It shouldn't at all. That is offensive. I had a friend try to commit suicide because of his depression. All I have to say is my mother and I just lock up. Some things should not be compared to silly things.

Lady Hikari, please don't double post.

I'd also like to advise both you and Jae to be considerate of each other on RPG-D. This is a public forum and everyone has the right to post/rant/reply. I haven't seen flaming in this thread, but you're certainly edging the line.

/mod duty


I think you're the one making this a bigger issue than it is. You don't understand it and people might think it's silly, but clearly this isn't a made-up problem. She didn't go looking for a reason to leave and this wasn't some kind of power struggle or anything... PB choices ARE silly, so why are you taking it so personally? A co-admin of yours had a problem with something on the site so she was choosing to leave AFTER helping you. It's not like she's abandoning you if you still have another co-admin that's on the same page as you, and it's also not like she signed some binding contract in agreeing to help out.

edit: In case anything in my post is misread or interpreted in a different way than I meant, this was written before reading the most preceding post. Also, I'm in a lot of pain and out of meds so I'm not functioning 100% so please forgive anything that may come across as nonsense here.

She slammed us on our site after me and my co-admin asked for advice on what to do. I don't think I'm overreacting. I don't know the conversation between her and my co-admin. All I do know is is that she said some rude things to us because we didn't know what to do because we didn't want to change what we had already decided.

I probably shouldn't do this, but I'm going to be blunt.

I've seen her post, and it's not like what you say, and you're not even trying to understand her issues. Not every anxiety or depression problem is related to the typical situations. Some people are bothered by images that move, some people are bothered by brightly colored things - and so on.

She was very polite, and you should have understood, or at least been nice about it; empathetic and compassionate about it rather than blowing up in her face and telling her that her feelings were wrong. That is, essentially, what you are doing. You are telling her that the way she feels is unbelievable and most likely a lie - well, it isn't a lie. It's the truth.

People have the free will to leave. And what? "it wasn't the fact that she was offering to do those things for us"? Of course it wasn't - that's a good thing. She was still offering to do those things for you even though she was going to leave after. This way, you still get everything done on time, you just have one less person to go through profiles and et cetera.

Is that such a huge loss?

You are exaggerating, being rude, and putting someone's right to feel down.


EDIT: She did not 'slam' you. She may have been angry and slightly harsh in one of her posts, but that was after you ganged up on her.

Like I will say over and over again. It wasn't the reason for her leaving. It was the fact that she was leaving.

I get easily offended. I'm trying so hard to work on that. I have said over and over that I don't understand what she is talking about. I don't. I don't lose sleep over anything because I don't let anything bother me that much. In a week, this won't bother me.

It's just the fact that it is like a slap to the face when she could have told us way before now that it was a problem. She could have said it first thing. She could have told me! She didn't. I had no idea until I was told. Maybe that's my fault for not waiting to see her reason or maybe that was her fault for not telling me.

And just comparing it to depression kinda ticked me off. Not gunna lie.

I'm sorry. Dx I felt like I was being baited to reply, because why else would you so clearly rant about someone where she could see it?

When I posted at the site, I was angry, and I wanted them to know. I wasn't mad at the PBs. I was hurt because I felt like they had ganged up on me when the other girl had previously said she understood. However, I do not feel like I "slammed" them, and I do not feel like it was derogatory in any way. It's like going to see someone about your problems and then having the person appear in court against you the next day. Or about the same feeling, anyway.

As I said, if I knew it was going to be a problem, if I'd noticed it (and I'll admit the past couple of weeks I've been overloaded and haven't always been paying attention), then I wouldn't have spent as much time as I did working on that site. It genuinely had not occurred to me that it might be a problem. I would have mentioned it if it had. How can you even think that I would spend so much time on a place that I couldn't play at, if I had seen this coming?

If both of you agree that the root problem isnt a big deal then why not just settle it and move on? Sure, harsh things MAY have been said, things MAY have been taken wrong or whatever has happened, but that does not mean you cant just fogive and try to work it out?

Instead of freaking out, for whatever reason whether it be wrong or right the freaking out is over for the most part right? Then move on. Talk together and figure out what should be done. If it means she helps then leave so be it or if it means you need to go on your separate ways then theres that too, or if you settle things and get back to working together that is often the best :)


But at this point you need to ask youreselves how big of a problem it REALLY is, and how hard it would be to FIX it. Decide your actions from there.

But here is the problem, you were angry. We weren't backstabbing you or ganging up on you either. We weren't trying to be rude or offensive. We were asking for opinions. I don't understand how that brought upon your anger. It escalated to this. Just misunderstandings after misunderstandings.

And now it's too late to fix or go back, so...whatever I guess.

EDIT:
D: Damn Istan. Said something before I did. xD

As I said, I was angry because she did a one-eighty on me when she could have just told me her opinion and spared me the trouble of feeling hurt. You say that the problem is that I was leaving, not my reason for leaving; then you say the problem is that I was angry. I wasn't angry at you until -- well, I reckon you know.


Istan--

I tried to make up for it. I offered to help finish everything. I even tried to just drop it and let it go. Believe me, I did.


Edit:
Oh, for god's sake. I am dropping this. Just stop accusing me of being a jerk when I was trying to make up for it, and stop trying to put me completely in the wrong because I don't appreciate it. That's all I ask.

If you're going to flame me, do it elsewhere. I'm not flaming you. Please stop.

Ally never did a 180. She never did and to say that she did is just amazing. She wanted advice and you got angry at us for asking for it. Do I need to get the thread? Do you want me to get the conversation I had with her earlier?

As you wish. (I wouldn't call it flaming, but) I removed it.

This is dumb. It's over now. I do some stupid crap.

Could a moderator either delete or lock this thread please? It's pointless.

actually I would LOVE to see that thread o.O


Im pretty positive that you were both wrong in some aspects and right in others. In arguments RARELY is one side right and the other wrong. So how about truly ending it? Go as far as to request this topic be deleted because I highly doubt that you two will get anywhere unless its towards the 'Im Sorry Lets Put This Behind Us' which both parties need to agree to and that doesnt seem likely.


EDIT:

D: you posted before me now! we ish even!

I'm not one to appologize if I feel wronged at first. I just refuse to. She's already deleted everything off the site. I'm just done with it. It's over and I would prefer this thread to be deleted.

Edit:

D:< HOW DARE YOU ISTAN! lol

That is incorrect. I only deleted my kingdom/location names, because I plan on using them elsewhere.

*cough* Kids these days.

Here's a hint, though: you can make RL PB pictures into "drawings" by messing with them in photoshop or photobucket.

Annnnd, that is true. I prefer Photoshop, myself.

But why? Basically, it'd be the same thing cause we'd have to credit the RL person either way.

*scratches head* Pardon? I don't quite understand what you're saying?

We'd still be using both and from what I got from her, she doesn't want to use both. It doesn't solve much of anything.

No, I would be okay with that. Most art (of humans) is recognizable as art, though I have definitely seen some realistic ones; some CGs are extremely realistic, but they're computer-generated and I didn't think that was what they meant. If the avatar looked like it was drawn, which by the way is a bit of a simpler task than making a "fake" one looking real, I would be okay with it.

It would look like a drawing, though, so it would be consistent with the real drawings.

Well, if either one of you wanna make sigs for people and do that for every person that wants a siggah, then GO AHEAD! That's fine with me! ^^

But I'm thinking logically and for the lazy person such as me. It would be easier to allow the member to decide.

Okay, you, Lady Hikari, need not to give up on a site over one person being confusing. All things above and below in RPG-D know that being an admin will bring confusion, strife, and trouble - even among admins.

Jae, the other admin may not have pulled a 180 on you. You see, people often use their brains to think about things that present problems and, upon hearing other's people's opinions and ideas, their ideas and opinions start to change because something else someone else says makes more sense than their own perspective. Here, on RPG-D, my mind changes about things after I hear someone else point something out that I should notice about something.

Also, both of you, to have something like this happen over play-bys is utterly pathetic and both of you are being over-dramatic about this - and not in a good way.

I can't say who's right and who is wrong and I know you want to hear who is right and who is wrong. No one can tell you who is right and who is not. Why? Because other people were not there. Other people don't know what really happened and because you don't have a thread to show us, other people can't really believe either of you.

As far as I know, Lady Hikari would have appreciated if Jae had told her before now what irked her - like PBs only being real life or only being pictures. Jae felt 180'd by the other un-named co-admin who might have just had a mental breakthrough somehow and thought having both PBs and pictures was better.

And why I mention you two wanting to know who's right and who's wrong? Because that's exactly what you want and you may not admit it, and you probably won't, but it's probably true. And hearing one of you is right and the other wrong will only hurt the situation.

In other words, you should get on to decide what is best and maybe consider what most people like and factor that into your decision. Or just give up like you seem to be heading towards.

Woah. I'm not quitting! Hell no! I put too much into this site to quit! D:<

But I agree. I don't want to hear who's right or who's wrong. I'm ranting because that is how I get it out. I get crap out through irrational thoughts to make logical ones. And the only logical one I can see now is that it's not going to work between the three of us and I guess me and my co-admin will have to do what we don't want to do. Well, what she doesn't want to do. At this point, I'm done.

Correction: I offered to do it anyway.

Then, just as a point...why aren't you? *just curious*

Ummm....I actually read their IM XD


And I gotta say, while leaving and irking over a PB is stupid, she had a genuine problem with it she couldnt get rid off so she saved herself the agony and left. Hikari didnt understand this like she may have thought(Ive dealt with many psychological problems,hers was legit) and she really shouldnt have ranted so about it.


So your both right but under the right circumstances but in the end that still lead to her leaving being the best idea. x.x

Sorry guys, this thread is closed.

Lady Hikari, ranting about someone at a place they frequent is a bad idea and it brings RPG-D drama that we are certainly not going to deal with. We can be here to sympathise, to offer solutions and to disagree, but we are not here to pick up the pieces you drop on the floor. If you want RPG-D members to help sort things out with you and Jae, bring it to them rationally and with an open mind to Jae. Jae, if you hadn't replied no one would have known it was you who was the other admin and you would not have needed to defend yourself to us.

Please keep drama between yourselves in future. Thank you.