-Start of Tape-
"Hi, my name is Matthew Starbuck and this is my school. Here at Starbuck Institution for the Gifted we encourage our students to use their powers for their own gain---er, I mean, we strongly advise against using any special ability for money, sex and power. Possibly even a combination of all three if they manage to bag some really hot millionaire person or even a billionaire. It always ends in tears. Trust me, I've enough money to know this," said a man with a soft sounding voice. The guy appeared to be attempting to hide the sound of a throat wrecked from yelling too much.
"This instructional DVD on how to enter my school will be your greatest asset to gaining membership to my prestigious institution. Not everyone gets in and--"
"Whatever you say jerkface. You let a cihck who only has the power to manually infect herself with herpes into this school. No, seriously, kids, come here. The more people come here the more I get to teach, make money and buy cheap pornography. There's nothing better in the world than torn stockings," said the person who cut off Mr. Starbuck.
"Gato, seriously, go serve your nearest DMV by becoming a stop sign for eighteen wheelers! You're screwing up the audio here! Gosh, now I'm going to have to voice over it with pretty pictures. You know we don't have the budget to be screwing up. Hush your antics! Uh, where was I? Oh, yes, here at Starbucks the idea of allowing mutants into the school isn't the only goal here. We welcome cyborgs, aliens, zombies just as long as they don't eat brains or sexual organs, hey, we even welcome anyone who considers Vanilla Ice to be a relevant human being. In fact, anyone who doesn't fit into what others consider to be a decent and civilized society is welcome here. Of course that would include humans," explained this rather tired sounding person.
"Matthew, honey, come to bed and get off that stupid tape recorder. Sheesh babe. We live past the stone age for crying out loud," some female sounding voice spat out.
"Marlie! Damnit! Blah, this is what I get for five dollars an hour? Hush and go make me a sandwich. Anyways, the only criteria for joining the school is to have some combat skills, be weird as all heck and don't pick on our name and try to say that we serve coffee even though we do. That's about it. Beyond that, come here and enjoy yourself. We don't follow any law as long as you're within the institution. Just, please, if you're going to be a hoodlum then at least give yourself that codename. That way we don't have to wonder what you, who you are and what you do with your life," the man went on to say.
"Oh, and please, PLEASE, if you're going to be into emo music turn it up as loud as you possibly can. My celebrity avatar IS Marilyn Manson. Not saying the guy's emo. Just saying that emo music would be something that he would be into," that same annoying guy added to his boss' statement. Sadly enough, this "Gato" character was a teacher at the school. He acted more like one of the students.
"Uh, yeah, whatever. If you want to join up at the school just cilck on the link below. No, don't click over on another tab. If you do I hope you get Rick Roll'd or something. Yes, just click it and see the site itself even though the guy who created is a total douche. Oh, and if I don't say it because I'm too drunk when you arrive at the school WELCOME TO STARBUCK!"
-End of Tape-
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