This it too long for the 'dear ____' thread...
Dear Mom,
Okay, Mom, I love you. I really, really love you but will you please stop doing this to me?
I know you're on cancer medicine. I see you take it and I see how you stumble and I see how your hair falls out in massive clumps and I see how much pain you are in and I'm doing my absolute best to help you - to cook for you because you don't have the energy too... to listen to what's wrong with you... to hug you when you're crying because the doctors are giving you trouble over the medicine again... to be the best person I can be just for YOU.
And it is all for YOU because I would not do it for anyone else but YOU, Mom! Don't you know that? Don't you understand that I want to treat you as best as I can not only because you're my Mom but also because I feel responsible for you. I would do anything to protect you no matter what happens and I know I would fall apart in two seconds flat if anything, anything, ANYTHING happened to you.
Right now, I am facing the fact that you are really sick and, even after you're off the medicine, it will take months before that stuff gets out of your system. I know you miss him - your husband, my step-father. And I know you love him because I hear you call his name saying 'Mark, please help me... Mark, I love you'. And I know it's hard for you to deal with the relationship because he's so far away right now and may not be coming back for years on end.
I know, I know, I know. I know you have problems! But I can't listen to them 24/7. I'll listen, I'll help, I'll comment, I'll do a pendulum or card reading for you... but not all the time. I'm only fifteen years old and I can only listen to your sadness and despair so much before I start to crack myself. And you know the worst about it? I can't do anything but what I am doing right now and if I really told you this I'd feel guilty and horrible and like I was the worst child you could ever have.
Just, please, please, Mom, stop stressing out. Stop making me sit up at night listening to you until two in the morning. Stop making me the only person you come to talk to - I just can't listen to you sometimes. I just... can't be everything for you. It would be the death of me to even try.
I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.
Love,
Your teenaged son.
*hugs Radsos*
I'm so, so sorry. I always get really angry at parents who make their kids take care of them, and I'm glad you know that that's not healthy. I hope your mom manages to get some help, because this is not your burden to bear.
I hope things improve.
<3
Sam
:(
I'm sorry to hear this. I'll pray for you and your family and I hope that this situation gets better.
*hugs* It sounds to me as though she has the best son she could ever wish for. I hope things get better for the both of you.
You poor thing.
There really isn't much else I could say.
Maybe it'll help you to know you're not entirely alone?
I could never compare to your situation, no, but I'm 15 as well and for a long time I was my mother's caretaker- she's a manic depressive and for the past two years she's just been off the wall bonkers. Believing that everyone hated her-- even me!- and just put up with her out of pity, and I had to listen to her and watch as she systematically destroyed almost all of her relationships and pretty much traumatized everyone. And I was so close to snapping.. but then a friend gave me the best advice I could ever ask for: "you've GOT to stop caring. you've got to just let go and let her know that you love her, but you've got to take care of yourself first."
I really hope things improve for you.
Is there anyone else in the family that could help you? Because it sounds like you really, really need a break.