Thank goodness for this rant section. I've needed to get this out for a while now and this is the only safe place I have to do it at. Anywho, I'm going to stop yammering and get to the point of my coming rant.

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To start, nothing angers me more than seeing people who aren't ready for children/shouldn't even have children at all have children (ok, there are probably some things that anger me more, but that's not the point). My older brother and his wife are these sorts of people, and I have to live with them. Ooh boy.

Ok. Perhaps explaining a bit of history behind all this is in order.

My older brother barely two years ago got his first girlfriend (he was 22 at the time). Five months into their relationship they moved in together in a different town. Ok fine. He's finally out of my mother's basement and on his own! Only a few months after that she (my sister-in-law) got pregnant. Calls us excitedly when we're on vacation to break the news, despite supposedly this being a complete accident and they didn't even want children yet. Turns out later she stopped all forms of birth control she was using and didn't tell my older brother this, thus getting her pregnant. This has led us to believe she did it on purpose. Trust me, if you knew her, you'd think the same thing. It's been a year, and my nephew is just barely a year old (and he's so cute!) Long story short, my brother and his wife are back in my mother's basement for the third freaking time (five if we're just talking about him)! And they're both 25 this year!

Yes, this whole, living in his mother's basement again is buggery, but not nearly as annoying as how they treat their poor one year old child.

Jen (sister-in-law) works during the day, since Tony (my brother) claims he doesn't want to work and go to school (he takes two online classes and doesn't do any of his work until at the last minute in the evening). That's all fine since that leaves him home to watch and spend time with his kid. No. He doesn't do any of that. He sticks the kid in the room with him, gates off his computer stuff (he's obsessed with MMORPGs) and ignores him. The only time I hear him say anything or do anything with that child is when he's yelling 'no' at him about something he shouldn't being doing. The baby will cry for attention, try to get into his father's lap, and he gets ignored.

The worst of his end is this. After moving into our house and having to watch his kid (he was living with Jen's family and her mother was watching the baby) he started to get grumpy at Jen. They had a fight which turned up the truth. He's mad at having to watch the baby for a few hours during the day. He spent this entire day pouting like a little child (remember, he's 25 this year). When he came upstairs (where the baby was with me and we were playing) immediatly he went over to him, trying to get his dad's attention again by any way he knew. He was ignored in the way a young child ignores his parents when he's pouting. Pretended the baby wasn't there, and so on.

Now onto the topic of Jen, where she starts making me mad about this situation. Instead of just telling her husband to suck it up and watch the baby, she agrees to start taking the baby to her mother's house so she can watch him. She treats Tony more like a child than the actual child! Every time he wants something, or doesn't want to do something, she just gives him what he wants instead of forcing him to grow up. Then complains to us that he doesn't help her with anything.

When it comes to her and the baby, she's a bit better since y'know, she's the mother and at least gives him some attention. But, she spends more than half her time just ignoring him as he tries to get her attention and wants to play with her, and when we tell her this she pretends that's not what it is. She always tries to put him in his crib for naps or in his high chair or tries to ditch him on us (my mother and myself) almost all the time. And sometimes during the night he'll wake up and cry for whatever reason and isntead of just getting up to see what he might need, she gets mad yells at him to shut up and ignores him. She'll also do this during the day when she's sitting down and he's making screech sounds to get her attention. And when they feed him, she only ever gives him frosted mini-wheats or granola bars. That's it.

It may not sound too angering, but living with it makes me mad. Not because I have to help take care of him some of the time, I don't mind any of that since he's so cute and sweet. It's just the fact that she wanted to have a baby so bad (I know since before hand she always talked about it incessantly) and now that the 'novelty' of it has worn off, she hardly does a thing with him or for him, as I had predicted when she was first pregnant. And to top it all off, she's been talking about having another kid! She doesn't even take care of the one she has and now she wants another one? I really hope it doesn't happen. Not until they both mature that is. They act more like young teenagers than adults. Here they are, mid-twenties and acting more like kids.

Sometimes I wish I could just understand for a second what goes through their brains? I wouldn't be surprised if the words 'me me me me me, mine mine mine' came out, since they're both so selfish, especially my brother. He ignores his kid, pouts when he has to watch him, and complains to me when something I'm doing on my internet is slowing it down (we have DSL).

*takes ten deep breaths*

Ok. I think I'm better now. Whatever I typed above might be a garbled mess. That's what happens when I hold things in for too long. That or if I never get to rant to someone or something, I end up having a screaming fight with my older brother since I tell him like it is and he hates it when people do that. Anywho.

That poor baby! It always makes me mad when people want something but then don't take care of it, and this applies to just about everything besides babies. I think a Supernanny visit is in order, STAT. Does the kid show any signs of being depressed yet? Because you don't scream at a one-year-old, it only scares them.

Grocery list for your brother and his wife:
Brains
Clues
Jobs (MMORPGS do NOT count as a profession!)
Parenting classes

Things for your brother and his wife to lose:
Ego
Selfishness
Maybe the kid, if they don't want him and refuse to take care of him (place him with someone who will treat him right)
MMORPGS (that's just pathetic...)

Ok, so I was a bit blunt (ok a lot blunt) there, but anything close to child abuse makes me a little mad. :rawr:

Take that poor kid and your mommy and run far far away from them!!

Ugh, I hate it when people treat their kids like that. I've babysat kids like that and it's so heartbreaking, especially when the parents are around.

Now I want to go rant. :rawr:

kf;ldajgfaj;ldkjfk!

I have a soft spot for kids...like, a Texas-sized soft spot. Just reading your rant made me SO strudel MAD at those parents! Agh! You can't treat kids that way! They're human beings, they're not like dolls or toys or video games, you have to put aside your own stuff and take care of them, feed and clean and clothe them, give them a safe place to live, and teach them how to be good people! Not, granola bars, and shouting at them for needing something! :angry:

Grrr. Just take care of your nephew as best you can, since it sounds like the parents are going to continue doing an awful job of it. You'll need to be a role model for him.

Not to be redundant with the smilies, but... :rawr:

Hearing this makes me cringed. I’m a 25 year old mother of a beautiful 17 month old, and she comes first. Like all people/parents I need a break from time to time from the 24/7 job… but my break consist of going for a run, going to a movie or playing a round of tennis with a friend.

Luckily your nephew has you, because at least you can do even just a little bit to make him feel wanted and love. Remember a little bit goes a long way.


But until then maybe you should give the evil eye to his parents. :rawr:

Oh good heavens, that's absolutey horrible! This is why I fully support spaying and neutering people. -_-'

At any rate, I hope things get better there. Be as nice as you can be to the little guy; it sounds like he really needs it now! He has very little stability in his life and you seem to be one of the only reliable people.

:(

Hey Marvealle,

Man. I am sure glad that kid has you around. At least he has a chance of growing up and knowing his parents are a few sandwiches short of a picnic. At twenty-five, there is no excuse. None. Not in my mind. Grow the feck up, you know? If you don't want to be a parent, wear a condom. Get it clipped. Whatever. You don't leave your fate in your girlfriend's choices.

You are SO right. There are so many people who should just neuter themselves and do the world a big favor. I am not wishing away your nephew, but there are far too many people who have the kid and bascially use it as a source of attention for themselves. It's like the kinds who buy some top breed puppy that they brag about owning and then shove it in the backyard and forget to feed it.

At my first job, I worked with a woman who adopted not one, but two, of her brother's girlfriend's heroin addicted kids. Both kids had to go through withdrawal at birth. The second kid, a little girl, the mother didn't even bother to name. She walked out of the hospital the second day without even holding her.

The woman who adopted them had three kids of her own and barely scraped a living together (her husabnd walked out). She didn't think twice about taking them on. She said someone had to love them. Shit. It still chokes me up a little bit.

Man, some people deserve tarring and feathering.... :angry:

Those parents need to be beat for treating their kid like that. I mean, babies need more care than an impetulant father who gets pissy because he can't play his games all the time.

My aunt and uncle are a lot like this, so I feel your pain. She got pregnant ON PURPOSE after meeting her now husband on a cruise...the skank. She had known him for all of 5 hours when he knocked her up...and she was not ready for a kid. Heck, he already had a kid and he wasn't ready for a kid. Now, 6 years later, my poor cousin is a spoiled brat, because my grandmother overcompensated, since my aunt gave him minimal attention, gramma gave him everything he wantedl. Now, the kid is about 30 pounds overweight, he's got a BAD attitude, and no one wants to do anything with him, because he doesn't listen or behave for anyone.[/mini rant] :rawr:

Anywhoo, keep being a role model for the kid. He needs you now more than ever, so make sure you fill in as much as you can to teach this kid right from wrong.

And tar and feather the parents, and kick 'em out. ^_^

Your bro and his wifey need some sort of a shock out of their habits. Your brother...he needs a kick on his ass. And both of them should go get yelled at by Dr Phil or something. He seems to like yelling at bad parents.

*sigh* unfortunately I too am familiar with people who should not have children...one example is my uncle's ex wife. My uncle 'Jack' married a woman I'll call 'Nancy' now. They got married pretty fast after dating. I was not that old but I can remember stuff well. Some stuff better than other. I never liked Nancy, and for some reason she absolutely hated me. I guess I could sense it. I never liked the way she looked at me. (Later turns out that she hated me because her psychic told that Jack has a child with another woman...incidently Nancy goes thinking that the other woman is my mom and that I am the other child. What an idiot, right?) My granny nowadays laughs that when I found out Jack was to marry Nancy I even went to him and said that "Please, tell me it was a mistake." Boy was I right......

Anyways, somewhere along the way they had a child, Jack and Nancy. This was before the wedding and I remember the night before the wedding. Me my granny mom and I were at their house and everyone except me and my granny went out to hit the local bar. We stayed home to watch the little baby Erica. I even sang her a lullaby. After she was sleeping and granny was watching the TV my pal and I snooped around a bit. We read Nancy's diary and went through her drawers...from where we found earplugs. I think she used them to sleep while the baby was crying, leaving it to my uncle to take care of it. Then later when they are home and it's morning, I hear my mom tell how awful lot Nancy drinks. She got wasted so fast by drinking the friggin bar empty. Now that doesn't sound good...especially when it turns into a habit. And Nancy went out a lot....

Nancy skipped paying bills and hid them to the couch of all things, she borrowed granny's car and was reluctant to return it or fix the damage she had caused to it, we gave them my old baby clothes and toys for Erica because Nancy seemed to spend more on herself. My uncle worked hard to pay for all the stuff that Nancy wanted. Jack worked for the UN peace corps and was away for long periods of time to earn the money. Then one Christmas....he came home and there were divorce papers on the kitchen table.

They got divorced and now Jack can't see his daughter anymore. He hasn't seen her since the divorce. I know he loves his daughter, I have always been like a daughter to him and he is the sweetest uncle one could have and I'm sure he would make a great father. There is no reason for why Nancy doesn't allow him to see the kid but he doesn't want to go to court for it. He just pays the alamony and lives in sadness. It just makes me feel sad for him. Granny always says that one day Erica will start asking questions on who her father is and she will find him and Nancy won't be able to do a thing about it. Luckily Nancy's mom keeps contact with my granny.

Nancy is very selfish and has done so many questionable acts that I won't even go over them...but it really makes me wonder how Erica is doing. I haven't seen her in years either but I saw her when she was around 4 years old so I've seen her more recently than Jack. I remember drawing to her and she liked the drawing.*sigh* yeah I hope my uncle will some day be able to get to know his daughter. He's truly a good man. The sweetest person I know.

GET THE KID OUT OF THERE!!! A kid in my (old) class has a younger sister, 8, and needs special attention and education. A friend of mine and I had to watch her while they don't feel like it. The mom is not as bad as your case, she just tries to help a lot at the school and be the party host. She had to go do errands for two hours and asked my friend to watch the child, while the rest of the family (three guys) were at home watching tv. IT'S A SPECIAL EDS KID!!! People need to get off their damned asses and actually do something!

Now...I'm going to preface this by sayin two things; 1.) I love children, and cannot wait for the day when I have my own, And will treat them like the prince and princess that they are, and 2.) Despite number1 I am a realist, and sometimes it is necessary to realize that people suck, and a whole host of other things that I can't say because Shin-Li would have my head.

The parents suck. And you, as aunty (? uncle?) Sound like you are going to be there for them, and that is amazing. You aren't the kid's mother (Father...) but the poor child needs and sounds like they have someone in their lives to love them no matter the fact that their parents suck huge...things.

That being said, Some people, myself included, grew up like that, and become better people for it. It isn't good, I know that, but at the same time, people learn to adapt. Look at it this way, at least your nephew has you, and two grandmothers that seem to know what the deal is, and that their parents suck and as such can pick up the slack. Show the baby some love and attention that his good for nothing parents can't seem to get through thier bloody friggin skulls that the child needs.

And, if your anything like me, threaten to castrate your brother if he even thinks about having anymore kids.

But then not many people are like me in real life, and when it comes to those that can't protect themselves. (Children, the mentally ill)

-please don't throw things at me-

You can do what a few people have suggested and write into Dr. Phil. I think what you wrote is heartbreaking, and he might be able to help your brother and sister-in-law.

You can also contact the Child Abuse hotline (and yes, this would fall under child abuse, especially if they won't feed him anything but cereal).
http://www.childhelp.org/get_help

See, this is why I'm waiting until I mature more before I have children. I'm 22 right now. The sound of a child crying wreaks havoc on my nerves. I'm actually quite selfish and my hubby spoils me way more than he should. I am working on not letting him spoil me so much and the selfishness part.

Besides, the idea of children scares the hell out of me right now. We're wanting to hold off until I'm like...25. I'm hoping to have grown up more by then...

But when I do have kids, I do want them to have a better life than I did. My mom used to scream at me all the time and my dad used to ignore me (and my sibs) and play on his computer. My mom never had money of her own to spend on things growing up so she tended to spend money on things she wanted but really couldn't afford and there was rarely anything worth eating around the house.

My husband is so screwed if we have a daughter though. He won't be able to tell her no! He thinks I'm cute and has trouble telling me no. Put a tiny girl in that place...poor guy! I'm also worried I'd end up living out childhood wishes through my kids...Like having my little girl have her own 'dress up' trunk that I always wanted when I was a kid or letting our son have all kinds of action figures...I want to be one of those moms that every once in a while, for no reason at all, going to a toy store and letting them each pick something (affordable) out...or the one that when they bring their friends over, I'm constantly pestering them about whether they'd like anything to eat or drink or offering to take them to the movies. *sigh*

I wanna give them the childhood I always dreamed about ^^ But when I'm more grown up.

Oh wow. Yeah, you need to get that kid out of there. All it takes is a simple phone call. That woman is retarded and the father is just stupid. Disconnect his internet! Make him have to pay attention to his child. He knocked the woman up and is too stupid to see that. They don't deserve that child nor do they deserve your mother's kindness. They need to be kicked out. End of story.