I recently joined a board (name shall remain nameless for posterity sake) and it seemed as if it was going to be a really GREAT board. It was simply gorgeously laid out and the members were so nice and helpful. I am not a mean person in anyway. Actually, it's kind of a flaw of mine for being TOO nice to people (as I'm told very often). I'm such a softy. I would rather give then take and I can't stand getting into fights with people because it makes me so upset to know that someone is upset with me that I start to shake and the such. Well anyway, I joined this board loving it. My bff joined with me. We were being active, posting all the time and participating in board activities. Even making suggestions. But then we would talk in the cbox, like everyone else. There were some changes on the board that took place and we commented them. Asking a simple "I didn't notice that." Or "When did that happen?" and each time we would make a simple comment a certain admin would jump in and, very harshly reprimand us. As if we had bashed someone. I would try and change the topic as the discussions would continue, but to no avail. It would get so bad that when they were on the site no one would talk in the cbox. My bff and I were not the only one that were yelled at on this site. Many other members were too.

I even tried to help out the site by pointing out that it looked as if someone had stolen an application and was trying to pass it off as their own. I found a few links that showed CLEARLY that it wasn't theirs. But since the said admin was friends with the person in question. I was the one that got into trouble for it. "accusing someone of stealing without sufficient evidence" When I even stated that if I was wrong that I was sorry, but if I was right I didn't think it was fair to the person who spent so much time on the application.

Last night, the admin made a change to the forums suddenly and without talking to any of the members, just a few of the other admins. I simply stated in the cbox "Awwww..I'm bummed about the subforum/forum change" and my bff said ":( now I can't do some of the things that I was planning on doing" This admin jumped in and began to rant on how the board was looking ugly and it was their choice and on and on and on. My bff said something like "Oh, well...what's done is done right?" and yet they STILL kept going on and on and on. I tried to change the subject by asking if people wanted to reply to a topic with me. I was rudely shut down by a few of the staff lauging at me and saying rudely "Um no!" and so hurt I sent a pm to one of the admins that I felt was really nice. I felt like she would understand and help my bff out in the situation. In the pm (which I can't even show because I have been banned from the site for 'being disagreeable and mean') I said with many ":(" faces that I was not trying to be mean and I didn't want people to think I was, but that I didn't feel like the said admin was being welcoming or nice. And I explained what was happening. And how I felt about it. And instead of getting a pm back about if they would help me mediate the situation. they forwarded the pm to the admin I was talking about and I was banned. Then the admin came to my site and yelled at my cbox and when I tried to go back and talk to her about how I felt and things. I found out that I had been banned. I was accused of calling her curse names and things. Which I didn't, because I don't swear. I never have and I never will. I don't like the sound of it and I feel it is degrading to me and the people I'm around. I don't understand what I did wrong or if I did anything wrong at all. Should the situation have been handled differently by me or the admins? I feel that being banned for speaking up in a personal message away from the board in private is uncalled for...am I wrong?

You're definitely not wrong. I'm so sorry that had to happen to you. Usually those things aren't about the person being banned, they're about a "buddy" mentality among the admins that can be harmful. I'm really sorry about that. :(

obviously, you didn't belong there, love. you're way better than that. you weren't wrong in any way but you were WRONGED. 'uff said.

the boards may be created BY the admins but they're FOR the members. as for the message, the P in PM stands for personal so that was just entirely uncalled for. if they had a problem with what you were saying in the message, they should have told you themselves and settled your problems since you came to them. the other admin? very immature and rude for popping up in your cbox like that but, hey, what can you do? some admins are just stupid and i've left a lot of boards because the admins were rude or tyrannical and they lost sight of what the boards were supposed to be about.

having fun.

-huggles- i'm sorry that this had to happen, though

Thank you so much. I am so upset about this. I've never been treated like that before and I've been rping for over 8 years now. :(

Haha. I've been banned for similar reasons: absolutely nothing. This isn't your fault and it's too bad that it happened. :[

Seriously. Like nadja said, you sound like the kind of roleplayer that any board would be dying to have. They just have their heads up their butts. If someone treats you that poorly, it's not your fault, it's theirs. I just really hope it won't discourage you from being who you are because that's never a good thing.

:DDD Thank you all so much for the kind words. It really means a lot to me and I read what you just said to my bff and she said to say thank you too. You all just made me feel so much better about the situation. I hate the fact that even after I went back and tried to talk to the person themselves, they still refused to listen to me and they simply said "I'm sorry that you feel that I am wrong." and things like that. And they said things like "You hurt me immensely with the nasty pm that you sent behind my back."

Unfortunately "I'm sorry that you feel that I'm wrong" sounds a little . . . offensive. Perhaps the next time you get into an argument say, "It was not my intention to offend you. Let us work this out diplomatically."

On second thought, don't take my advice. It never works for me. Usually I just get something along the lines of "STFU n00b." :/

Anyway, I wouldn't get too worried about this: there are some complete morons on the Internet who get their entertainment from torturing other people and bullying them around. They're probably the losers who have no friends IRL and don't know how to handle real life pressures.

lol aawww. I know. I felt like when they said they were sorry like that, like it was a slap in the face. Why even say you are sorry to begin with. It was a fake apology.

Admins like that take themselves WAY too seriously. You're not in the wrong at all from you've told us; kudos to you for actually approaching an admin in an attempt to smooth over the situation. Too bad all of them sound like immature middle schoolers. Giving people notes/PMs that are about them? That's so 6th grade, lmao.

Don't worry about it. =) The very fact that she had to make a public deal about it in your c-box just proves how immature she is. Just stay away from their sites; don't give them the satisfaction of hurting your feelings or anything. <3

EDIT: Though just as a pointer, don't keep talking about the situation in your c-box. It makes people curious and kind of makes you look petty to people who don't know the deal. :X

Thank you so much! I completely agree with the fact that I shouldn't go back to the site. I know that I am a good member and for them to treat me like that is uncalled for. :)

some people just overreact like that.
:p i put a welcome box onto a site at their request, and it happened to be the day IF went down and i was yelled at because 'you were the one in there playing with the coding! what did you do to the board!'
and i showed them all sorts of evidence and got banned for talking back, even when it became obvious via other members whom they'd been ignoring. :p
people are just pigheaded sometimes.

:o! That's terrible! I can't believe someone would do that! I'm glad you are ok though! Don't let them bother you though, like everyone here has said, some people just don't know how to be mature. :D

One word.

Schadenfreude.

Especially to those admins. If their board dies, good.

People like that need to learn how to piss off sometimes. Drama queen admins can run their own members away - and they're totally deserving of it.

Oh lord. Here is one massive hug, from me to you: -HUG!-

Really, that's ridiculous. I've been playing for over eight years, as well, and their behavior has really shocked me. I don't understand how on earth people can think their RPGs are going to last when they act like that, unless they truly don't care and just get a kick of feeling "more important" than other people. They'll learn -- especially once their members abandon them. :lol:

It looks like by now you might be feeling better about this, but I'd still like to say that .. don't let them get to you. Really, you and your bff are definitely the better people in this situation, and if I were running a board, I would absolutely love to have you there. Tyrant admins happen, I've unfortunately experienced their wrath myself, but you just gotta pick up the pieces and move on. If you and your friend were really involved with each other, play-wise, maybe you could make a small private board for you guys to post to each other? That way you don't have to give up your plottings, if you guys had any. Or take your characters to another board, or something. I don't know anything about your characters or how involved they were within the plots on this board, so I can't exactly say what you could do with them, but there's some suggestions, if they apply.

All I can do, really, is hope you find an ever better RPG, with some great admins who will realize just how awesome you are. XD

Or the admins will pretend that you're a big, fat liar trying to stir up trouble. And if anyone sides with you, they'll claim that you're pretending to be another person in the cbox.

lol we aren't talking about it on our board. We cleaned out our cbox after they posted in it. But I did go and look at their board again and they were STILL talking about it in their cbox. It made me laugh a little.

-huggles to all of you!!!!-

OMG!!

xprincessgwenythx, for the record, you and your friend sound like dream forum members and the Admin (myself and a friend) on my site would love to have you there. Active members keep a site alive! We try and keep a relaxed atmosphere. Obviously you need rules and you need to make sure that members are keeping the rules and staying polite but no one is perfect and everyone needs to be able to admit to mistakes and to accept help sometimes.

Adminning a site is a massive learning process regardless of age or any other factor. It is unfortunately not so rare to see admin getting above themselves and getting cliquey. Goodness, theres no chance of that happening where I am. We'd be grateful for anybody!! LOL!!

I think basically what Im trying to say is that I agree with the other replies here. That happened to me on one particular site and I think you just have to remember that it wasn't you. It just wasn't the place for you and there is something better out there. Just put it behind you now and find somewhere better which will appreciate you.