So I recently created an RPG site with some of my friends, and I thought I would tell my friend Dan, about it. He's never RPed, but I've gotten my friends to RP before and they usualy always end up loving it.
So I told him about it, and what does he say? This is on the subject of RP's in general. [this is on msn]

"omg thats so gay..lol...no offense......it to me sounds really stupid and gay..only geeks will do that lol...im not goin to sit in front of a computer typing something out about witches and warlocks and thne some one else finishes them...that a total waste of my time...thats my opinion!!"

Then when I got mad he said i was over reacting. And he was just speaking his mind. But ECHH, like, all he had to say was 'Iunno Micky, thats not really my thing' but he had to say something so vulgar and offensive!
ECHHHH. ERG. I'm just mad.

Humm. I think this is why I keep my habits under wraps. Only my really close friends know about it - and only cause they occasionally have access to my computer...

It was pretty insensitive of him to say, I'll give you that... but everyone's entitled to their opinion as well, and hey, we know what he's missing out on. His loss, really. XD

True true. Most of my friends don't care, since I go to a school where being weird is cool. (which is awsome)

It bothered me he used the word gay. When I wrote that though i was fuming:P Him and me often get into stupid arguments.

At least he said he meant no offense. ;)

I tend not to tell anyone I RP. I'd tell a person I just met over my close friends, really, because my friends are ones who'd sort of act like yours. Only they'd be even worse about it. I wouldn't hear the end of it until I moved away... gah. Sometimes I hate my friends. The only people who know I RP are my sister and a not so close friend, and maybe my mom. My sister knows because she's the only reason I'm even roleplaying, even though she doesn't and never has, and my not so close friend I just told him. My mom can never remember the word 'roleplay' so whatever. Mmm. Some people nod and try it out with you, others laugh and... don't. Yep. Beat him upside the head with a few hundred character sheets, and then see if he laughs.

Meh. Doesn't make sense to me why people think it's stupid. I think it's much better time speant then trying out clothes in the mall, or sports. Helps me with my writing.

I tell heaps of people i RP and no one has ever had a problem with it.

I always hate those two words because they always seem to be a sort of safety phrase. 'Oh, you're a b**** and you f**** suck, but no offense, kay?' it's like by saying 'no offense' it makes you automatically okay. If you didn't mean to offend me, you shouldn't have said it!

I think it's stupid that he said it's so horrible in that many words. I also think it's lucky that he did, because it will give you a greater appreciation for your board - because he's not on it ;-)

"No offense" is definitely overused.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions about RPing, of course. We do have freedom of speech after all. However, it's how they say it that matters. And even I, the queen of tactless speech, can see that he could have phrased it a lot better. But you know what, maybe if you argue with him so much it's better that he's not on your RP.

I totaly aggree. He said after 'i said no offence' but... Don't you notice that when someone says no offence, it means something offensive can be comming? Ech annoying.
Sometimes I just wish RPing wasn't looked down upon, like it is. People always assume it's the 'losers and geeks' who RP, who have no life. But how is it any different then spending your time stalking people on facebook? Annoying. I do have a life. I have a boyfriend, I'm the president of my youth group, I'm directing my college play, ect... So people are always suprised when they hear I RP, like... Wtf? ECH.

I'm so lucky I guess. D8 I can go around telling people I RP and they see nothing wrong with it.

Hell, just last semester in my website design class (and mind you, I'm in college and gonna be 24 on the 13th of this month, so here I am around people who are just NOT younger than 18, and we have people who are in their 50s in the classroom, as well as people my age! XD) I showed people my sites, and a few people went "WHOA! I RP too! 8D That's awesome!" and two people from class even joined my game. *dies* And then we had many discussions about D&D and stuff.

Maybe it's just that as you get older you care less about being "cool"? Who knows! XD

I dunno. I've been lucky I guess, but I'm not at all ashamed of my hobby because it's something I love, something I put a lot of work into, and I see no reason to be ashamed or hide it. So pretty much everyone that knows me knows I RP (and it often comes up around new people, too, since I'm a video game and technology freak, total geek, so computers and stuff are gonna come up eventually in any conversation I have) and knows about my games, and while sometimes I do get lifted eyebrows in response, people just...tend to accept it as part of my general weirdness and geekiness. *grin* I embrace my geekiness shamelessly.

I dunno. I found the best way to describe it is as an interactive, collaborative novel. Most people tend to get that, and then I just start naming the differences between that and RPing, talk about how you only control your own characters, suff like that. Doing it that way, people understand it, I find. :3

And...aside from my usual tl;dr-ness, uh...yeah...I'd be mildly annoyed. >_< I hate the "gay" word, that's what would have annoyed me. And there ain't nothing wrong with geeks! Power to the geeks, I say! Geeks have more fun, anyway. ;3 So I say it's his loss more than anything, and your gain since you won't have to deal with his crummy attitude in game! Everyone wins!

Only one of my friends knows I roleplay, and this one guy I don't really talk to... none of them would react like that, but none of them would be interested really. Anyway, don't be too mad about it. Guys are just like that. They'll change (eventually).

NEVER count on guys changing. Or anyone in general, for that matter. It's how people end up in destructive relationships- because they're so sure the other person will change.


Back on topic, there are people who just aren't going to understand some of the things you do, RPing included. I've never told my mom mostly because it would take too long to explain and even then she probably wouldn't understand what it was. I love my mom to death, but some things are just not worth the headache. She knows that I write online, and really doesn't need to know any more than that. Especially since I haven't lived with my parents in almost four years, lol.

One of my best friends doesn't know that I RP because I know she isn't interested. Our relationship is probably one of the weirdest I've ever had, really. There are TONS of things we don't agree on. I'm huge into sci-fi, she hates it. I love reading, she doesn't. She prefers 80s hair bands, I prefer The Beatles. Would she judge me for RPing? No, there are a million things that I do that are way dorkier, and she still loves me to pieces. But I don't tell her about RPing because she wouldn't like doing it and I'm too lazy to want to explain it.

Another good friend of mine knows I RP, knows what it is, but doesn't do it. She understands the appeal, as she herself has done it in the past, but it's not something she likes to do anymore. Sometimes, she sort of implies that I may "grow out of it" like she did, but I'm not offended. As long as I like doing it and have time, I'm going to do it. She may think it's a little silly, but it doesn't make her like me any less. Just like I think her compulsion to play minesweeper anytime she's at a computer it a little silly. I still like her, even though I can hear her mouse clicking and finding bombs when I talk to her on the phone sometimes. :)

It's not that silly - JKR does it! That doesn't make it not silly, but it's good for people who need habits.

Aaanyway I think RPing is something to be proud of. It is a hobby, just like playing computer games or sport, but it improves a lot of our outside life (teaches us cooperation, improves our English, makes us realise that creativity doesn't have to be limited).

The point was that it's only my opinion and not fact, and that it doesn't change how I feel about the person. Just like JKR's minesweeper habit does not change the way I fell about her.

Obviously, if MURDER were one of her habits, I would feel differently...but some things just aren't that big of a deal, and keeping them to yourself or sharing them with others is your prerogative.

When it comes down to it, I really don't feel like keeping RPing to myself is some deep, dark secret. People who don't know I like to RP still know that I like to write, and RPing is a form of creative writing, as so many people have pointed out. I just don't go into great detail about what kind of writing because most people aren't interested, and I get tired explaining it. It's a win-win situation.

I tend to keep the fact that I RP to myself, even though it was my friends in high school who first got me into it. It's not geeky at all (at least not in my estimation), but to avoid getting reactions like the one you got, Micky, I keep it under wraps. Part of it has to do with being in the Army - it's hard to admit to being a role-player in an outfit largely composed of guys whose favourite topic of conversation is sports.

Some of my closest mates were gained through RPing, though, so it balances out. :)

I suppose it comes down to how you handle "revealing" it.

That's why I don't say that I roleplay to most people. Only a few people know, like my mom, my boyfriend, and two really good friends of mine. It's not geeky or nerdy, but I know that I, like you Micky, would be annoyed if someone told me that roleplaying was geeky/nerdy. But how would I feel if many different people told me that it was? Well, I would be pissed off.

When I tell people, it's just in passing and to those few people I trust that won't think I'm crazy for it.

I'm not ashamed of it. But I'd rather be happy and roleplay, then start getting annoyed and pissed off because of the people that learn about my hobby of roleplaying.

Nonsense! It's incredibly geeky and nerdy. We spend time online pretending there are these fictitious worlds and settings, playing as wizards or cyborgs or mutants...with other people who are doing the same. What's not nerdy about that? That's up there with cosplaying and sci-fi conventions! ^___^ Mind you, nerdy is a good thing to me. People shouldn't be ashamed about being a nerd. It's a fun lifestyle! Cool is overrated, and concerning yourself with others' opinions only leads to your own happiness relying on others being happy with you.

I have no problem bringing up RPing around people I know. My family has known since I got into years ago, and my brother and I will have joking arguments over which way to RP is better: PbP or MMO. My friends are nerds like me, and I think it's a little easier to explain RPing to nerds. Most of 'em want nothing to do with it, but we try to keep informed with each other's interests. I have no problem bringing it up with people I've just met if the conversation heads that way, though a lot of times I know they're imagining a big neon sign reading, "Dork!" over my head. Hee hee...

Yeah, sometimes I get rude reactions like what you experienced, Micky Three. Just don't let it get to you. That guy's a jerk and by saying something so tactless he revealed just how, eh-hem, "really stupid and gay" he is.

^

My hero right there.

I... tell no one. lol. Okay, so, hmm, I have straight out told 2 of my friends what I do, and they thought it was cool, though they weren't interested in joining. And another friend of mine knows, I told her, but she doesn't count 'cause she does it too. Now, others may know, which it is fine, but its not discussed. But I tend to be horribly private and don't tell people much about what I do anyway.

Not so much because I'm ashamed of it (because trust me, everyone figures out eventually that I'm a totally nerd/dork/geek, and that's cool with me, I'm not exactly in the closet) - but because I feel like an idiot trying to explain it.

"Hi, I never grew up and I still play pretend, just in writing!"

I’m with Shadow of the Rain, I have no problem telling people I know about my Rping. Often I even try to promote it, because I think that too many people have the wrong idea about what it is. Once they try it out they get to see how fun and freeing it can be.

I get a lot of crap from some people, and my husband and family laughs when I tell them I am on ‘my site.’ But in the end it makes me happy and really isn’t that what matters?

And as for people calling it dorky, well that’s their ideas about it. But what they don’t know is that people of all types RP. My friend was Prom King and he RP’s and another is a in a fairly cool local band and RP’s. We really come from all places and status, so there has to be something cool about it.

Well anyway, at least we all think it’s cool!
(cool)

hmm ... interesting topic. I know it started as a rant but I couldn't help chuckling to myself when I read it. I generally count myself among the closeted rpgers. I don't think I've really told anyone, including my parents. Especially since, like Rhi-Rhi, I am in the group of 'older' rpers. I'm staring the big ole 3-0 down and so I do find myself keeping quiet about such things. It seems silly, though, that age would play a factor in it, of course, but whenever I think about telling someone I definitely hear the 'but you are too old for such things' voice in the back of my head.

But, I also know that rping has actually proven a much more productive past time than many others I could choose. My writing skills have definitely improved and, more importantly, my social skills have improved. I have always had a decent dose of social anxiety disorder and when I first started out, I felt awkward saying hi in cboxes, let alone initiating conversation in person. Rping was a strange, but effective, way to 'practice' socializing in an anonymous way and I've noticed it carry over to real life.

Heh rp therapy... maybe I can introduce it as that. I'm sure it'll make it far less awkward.

If you're the sort of person who thinks authors are nerdy then you are quite right. If you think being an author is a normal, unremarkable thing, you're utterly wrong.

There's nothing geeky about pretending that things that are imaginary really exist. Are little kids geeky? No! They're kids. Is writing poems geeky? Is writing fiction geeky? I don't believe any of that is. The only thing we RPers do differently is we write our stories together. We're like a whole bunch of authors who work on stories together. Nothing geeky about that.

I admit sci-fi conventions and cosplaying is geeky, because they are people actually pretending that they are these imaginary people in imaginary settings. That's going far enough out of the real world to be weird. But, still massively awesome and no one should pick on others for something like it.

I don't think RPing is 'nerdy' ... In my opinion, spending countless hours on myspace and facebook, looking at photos of other people who you barely know, and finding out who they're dating ect.. is nerdy.. Watching Extra and all those entertainment shows for hours each night is nerdy, and many other things that the average teen/young adult does.

Ya, I went to a Star Wars Convention once, and it was fun as hell, I don't think that’s nerdy. And you'd be surprised at the type of people who go, I met a guy who was the captain of his school basketball team.. Beleive it or not, as much as the media tries, there is no stereotype for a Star Wars Fan, same with RPing.

I really believe RPing is just a multi authored novel. It's an art form, a form of creativity. I've become a better author because of it, and a better actress, learning how to play a character.

And for some reason, people are surprised I RP. My boyfriend does too, and he's anything but a geek, he was his school's president, and he's the captain of his hockey team... Yet people assume that if you RP, you have no life, that you’re ugly, no one likes you, ect... Which is completely untrue. I have a great life, I just got a huge roll in my college play, I'm the lead singer of an awesome rock band, and I live with my three best friends, RPing just enriches my life. And most of my friends understand that, and don't think it's nerdy, but you'll find those people who do, like that guy who said that to me.. Or just close minded people.

We don't live in the 1950's anymore... The 'geek' has changed.

Wait, wait. I think that we're straying from the point.

Nerdy does not necessarily equal bad. Yes, Star Wars conventions are totally nerdy. But is that a bad thing? Heck no.

Amen to that! Nerd is a good thing! While nerds and geeks are slowly being viewed in a more positive light, a lot of people are still hesitant to label themselves or the things they do as "nerdy." Don't be ashamed of your inner nerdom! Embrace it! Nerd pride! (happy)

Actually, most cosplayers don't actually pretend they are the characters. They just like to dress as them. Like Halloween, 'cept on other days. And even if they did, isn't that the same thing as what we do when we RP? They know they're not the characters they're pretending to be. They're just putting themselves in those characters' shoes and acting how they would. Don't we do the same thing, just through writing? We put ourselves in our characters' shoes and try to behave as they would. LARP and text-based RPing are essentially the same thing carried out through different media (mediums?).

Hmmm yes I think we all should embrace or inner nerd/geek/dork/closet freak…

::goes off to look for her Hogwarts uniform::



I hope my daughter embraces RPing, it’s a great experience and lets you express yourself.

You have a Hogwart's uniform? Pfft, dork... *puts on Azumanga Daioh hat and Sonic the Hedgehog costume* :P:

When I have kids, I really hope they'll be nerds too. I won't have any idea how to deal with normal children! ^__^;;

Sorry, you're right, Shadow of the Rain. I was thinking of LARPing.

:) There're so many facets to nerdom that it's easy to get them mixed up. I'm heavily involved in nerd culture, and I still get some things confused. Ya know, I've always secretly wanted to LARP, but considering I couldn't even get through an hour of D&D without feeling totally ridiculous, I dunno if it'll happen. *gazes off into the sunset* Someday...