Dear Pedestrians,

If you are going to walk around at night wearing dark clothing, please walk in the middle of the street instead of along its side (where there are no sidewalks) so us drivers can hit you and remove your dumb selves from the gene pool.

Kthnxbai.

Dear Computer,

Why are you doing this to me? Is it because I asked you to run a game created before you were? I realize the game is old, but you're new, and tough, you should be able to kick it's arse and run it like its never been run before. Not make my volume unaccessible unless connected to the internet. That's just lame. Get better soon.

Love, your owner, now do as I say!

Dear Intrawebs,

Get faster, my downloads are taking too long.

Me


Write your own! It's fun. Great stress reducer for when the idiots of the world start making your insides gnaw on themselves. ^^

Edited because codes are naughty.

Ugh, I know what you mean about the computers. Over the summer I found an old copy of DIG (awesome game from waaaay back when I was small), and I tried running it on the computer and it about had a field day. Then when finally did get it running, it was ridiculously slow and hiccuping and wouldn't let me create a save file. (x.x) New age technology thinks it's too cool for old games.

I got my game to run, finally. After hours of internet searching and screwing around with settings. But I have to run the game in developer mode, which makes a little odd, but not really different from regular game play. I haven't played it yet though, so I could have more surprises in store (waiting on my game pad).

And today... it was search for drivers and spend hours downloading due to dial-up (and downloading the wrong driver/having downloads fail half-way through). (x.x)

Dear Plot-writers and Rule-creators who can't write even though they pretend to be able to,

Your grammar makes me cry.

Sincerely,
Darth Makar

Edit: yes, I suppose it brings some level of satisfaction, though whacking said people upside the head would be much more enjoyable.

Dear Bots
Please stop giving me that heady sense of anticipation I get from watching my guest count shoot up and views on my canon list increase.

Dear Members who join, then do nothing.
If you're joining a site then you join it and make an app and play, not join then sit around coming back every other month. It makes me sad to think fifteen of my twenty members have no interest in my site

Dear co-admins
Please do not give up on sites just because the skin isn't your favourite, or I asked if you can make a graphic.

Dear Mass Transit Riders,

If the seat space looks too small for your fat ass, please don't try to squeeze in.

... and now you're at it, please don't join, make an application and then never ever return again although we're trying to contact you about it...

Dear Bees/Hornet/Wasps/whichever,

My glass of orange juice, or green tea, or whatever I'm drinking, is MINE! so please leave it alone. Also, please leave ME alone. I do not appreciate nor enjoy it when you buzz around me, land on various parts of my body, and generally make an annoyance of yourself. It is winter, even if the sun is out, so go hibernate, or die, or something, and leave me alone. Annnd, my book is mine too, you cannot read it, so don't land it.

Thanks, your loving neighbor who will smash you if you continue to piss me off.

[is now glad I don't ride mass transit]

Dear Meteorologist,

Declaring a northeaster, warnings to stay indoors, and stark comments like "it will snow 10 inches" are very inappropriate pranks as children get false impressions. When every single person wakes up to see nosnow it is very debilitating. Please do not do these things. We don't like it.

Me&friends

P.S. A little warning with that first big snow storm would have helped. You know, the one before Thanksgiving, before we could get our shovels out of the later snowed-in shed, before everyone woke up and went “Oh no, we should have canceled school!”

Dear RP Creators,

Why to not make use of sub-boards and new topics instead of making a wall of useless forums that could be replaced by a single topic that, aside from making your board look cramped it gives the impression that it's to much complex at first making us to move in search of a new game, servers for nothing.


Dear RP Players,

Why don't you give up your prejudices and try new kinds of boards that you avoid because you think it's silly or childish? Happiness may be under your nose and you don't know.

Dear... Girl With The Giant Ego

If you do not even know something as simple as the difference between a Muggle and a Muggleborn... perhaps you shouldn't be an admin at a large not-really Harry Potter site?




Dear Applicants

Please to be reading the rules. Also, this is Harry Potter, not X-Men, so stop applying for characters with superpowers. Your characters have wands and all sorts of cool things... why can't they, I don't know, use them to do cool things?

Dear people,

Freaking. Read.

Failure to do so will result in the loss of your reproductive organs.

love and snuggles,

Panda

Dear drivers of the world,

Stop it. Just...stop it.

kisses,

Panda.

Dear RPG-Seekers,

I know my forum doesn't have many members, or isn't the most active on the block. If it were, I wouldn't be advertising nearly as much as I am. I do not need you to tell me this, nor do I need you to gripe about the fact that you can't use Sophia Bush as a face claim because, horror of horrors, there are no face claims! If you consider such a trivial aspect of roleplay the swing vote in your decision, you clearly don't have the level of intelligence I require of those I spend large amounts of time with.

That isn't, of course, to say that you're stupid. You're probably quite intelligent, save for that reasonably moronic quirk. That also isn't to say I refuse to associate with you. I'm sure you're quite fun.

In small doses.

Dear Teachers Worldwide,

The school may urge you not to have assignments due the week before exams, however this isn't mandatory. Having four projects due in one week is stressful, damnit! I, and most students in my grade, tend to leave studying till the few days before the actual exam, and so, if you insist on collaborating with my other instructors in order to have ALL my classes require large assignments in the same week, you could at least have them due at the last possible moment, giving me more time to actually complete them.

Projects stress me out far more than exams.

CATER TO MY NEEDS, DAMNIT.

Dear Idiot,

So not only have I witnessed people plagiarizing Wikipedia pages for personalities, as well as other people's applications... But we're stooping to copy/pasting information from zodiac websites?
People's stupidity boggles the mind, honestly.

Dear RPers:

Just because the RP layout doesn't look exactly the same as every board on IF and just because we use a variety of plain-colored skins so everyone has their favorite colors represented instead of giant annoying headers that break browser windows and take forever to load on a PDA does not mean we are a crappy game. Honest, I promise. Please take a minute or two and read some of the posted bios before you skip out? It may even surprise you.

Dear Yoshitsune:

Dude, total word. Wordsauce over word pie.

Love,
Cal

Dear people who use tiny text,

I cannot read what you write. Esepcially if you use size 0. Therefore, don't complain when I completely ignore what you say, because the opinions of people who use small fonts do not exist.

Love,
Emma.

Dear spoilt people,

It is not our fault if you cannot be told 'no'. If you can recognise that you have attitude problems, that you have problems with authority and that you don't respond well to being told off, don't do it! Fix your own problems and stop trying to blame your bad behaviour on the fact that you just 'can't work like other people'.

Love,
an unsympathetic Emma.

Dear Automated Telephone Responses,

Which button do I push to kick you in the ass?

Dear school,

I AM NOT LEARNING ANYTHING FROM YOU. STOP GIVING ME HOMEWORK TO DO. I DON'T HAVE TIME AND YOU'RE STUPID.

Love and fluffy bunnies,
Katie.

Oooh, I feel better. ^^

Darn straight!

Dear 8AM Classes,

*sniffle* WHY!!!

Dear Annoying Admins,

Don't get all snooty if someone breaks the rules that are so freakin' confusing and unclear that nobody but you gets them anyway. Also, every single admin-related post doesn't have to end with "I hope you remember to always obey the rules and respect the staff." Seriously. Nobody was even breaking any rules or being disrespectful. It wasn't even me they were talking to and I find it annoying.

Dear Rules,

Please stop being so difficult to write. It's so hard to get you concise without being cold, personal without being condescending! And now that I have my whole new system which needs explaining -groans- please just beam yourselves into readers' brains and make sense!

Love,
a sad and befuddled admin.

Whee! This is fun ^_^

Dear Mother,
Stop force feeding me your grotesque chicken diet recipes. I am not attempting to lose weight, hungry or in possesion of a stomach of steel that can handle the magnitude of grossness that meal provided.
Thanks,
Your daughter

Dear Friends,
Please refrain from being all gushy and flirty in front of me so I can hold down my nasty (yet low fat) dinner.
Love,
An extremely impatient and agitated Ariana

Dear Math,
Just... stop existing.

Fweeh. I wish I could actually send off those messages :]

(angry) Lucky!
Dear 7AM Classes,
Lord, have pity on us all. Stupid, stupid A period, why can't you start start later?!
Loves,
A sleepy Emily

Dear School Board
Dear god, why can't you people do anything right? Why can't we have finals before winter break, like the rest of the *!@Y&^$# state. WHY?! And another thing, why do you give us terrible language teachers who hate teaching, and can't even teach the right language. I'm taking FRENCH, not SPANISH. So, don't give me a SPANISH teacher.

It would be so much easier and nicer for us all if you'd just let the stupid people who want to leave our nice, new, small, and beautifullyclean school in favor of their [/i]old, nasty, problematic dumps[/i]. Some of us who like the new school don't want to here about how miserable certain groups are. Yes, things are still wrong with the school (like the language teachers), but there's plenty good about it too.
Huggles,
The Smart Student

Dear School Administration,
Can we get one thing straight? WE HAVE ONLY FRESHMAN AND SOPHOMORES AT OUR SCHOOL CURRENTLY! We do not need the 'senior experience' three times. Save the 'Best of' things for when we actually have seniors. The Alumni things? WHEN WE HAVE ALUMNI( which is when I no longer have to deal with them). We don't need a end of year Sophomore dance out of the bay on a nice boat. We need more books in the library!
From the voice of the sensible part of the student body,
Emily

To all my lovely friends,
Why must you all work yourselves to death with school? Yes, I get we live in a very competitive area, with all the pressures of being 'perfect', but really...studying three weeks ahead for finals you know you're all going to ace without the panicked study? You make me feel bad for not worrying! Don't drag me down with out!
Frustrated love to all,
Emms

Oooh, I wish I could really send these.

Dear Crappy Cell phone company's,

**** YOU, AND **** YOUR PLANS!

Love,
Spike, someone who is no longer your member.

Dear 1773 speakers,

Go grab a damn dictonary.

Forever hating you,
Spike, the Internet Nazi.

Dear you;
Losing your stalkerish dependency friendship was the best thing I ever did.
Love, your ex-friend.

Dear fangirls;
Quit being such idiots and get off my band. You have no idea how frustrating it is for people who truly love them to listen to your screeching about how "hawttt!!1" the frontman is and forgetting there are four other special boys in it, and that they are deeper than haircuts and eyeliner.
Love, your would-be killer.

Dear site;
Please let the codes work properly. You'll make it look ugly and annoying otherwise.
Love, your adoring owner.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

Dear Finals,
Why are you so difficult to study for? Why am I not like Requiem's friends who started studying three weeks in advance? Maybe then I wouldn't be about to fail/meet my doom tommorow. WHY WERE YOU NOT SCHEDULED TO BE TAKEN BEFORE BREAK?

WHYY?

Love,
A very panicked and twitchy Ariana

Dear Insomnia,
Please go away. I have finals to fail tommorow.
Love,
That girl you won't leave alone :]

Dear Insomnia,
Oh how many nights thus far you have kept me awake until the up-do hours of the morning? Do you not know that I have work the next day and that it's nearly impossible to keep awake while there's absolutely no work to do then answer phones that right maybe once every hour.

Or the fact that I might get cranky from lack-there-of sleep and might curse out a nice unsuspecting customer that's irate because the factory didn't ship their furniture out when it was supposed to and so they are then screaming like a banshee at me.

GRR

- Sincerely Yours. :D

Dear Customers of Safeway,

Please refrain from losing your minds the second you walk into my store. I don't know if you understand how offended I get when you sit there for fifteen minutes reading your receipt making sure I didn't screw up. There's a running display on the customer screen. If you didn't spot it then, well.. tough.

Also, stop questioning me when I ask you for identification. I'm within my rights to ask anyone who looks under THIRTY. Funny how it turns out that I'm older than you, hey?

While we're at it, if you could possibly avoid telling me how to do my job, it would be greatly appreciated. If you're that sure you can do a better job, you can apply online through Woolworths. Actually - go to Coles Group. We don't want your attitude.

Love with Woolworths cheesiness,
Cashier 888.

Dear McDonalds Ring Road West,

If I order a burger without cheese, chances are I don't want it on my burger. So get the hint already, and stop selling me food I can't eat.

Wishing I was lactose intolerant enough to sue you,
Irritated customer.

Dear Yarra Trams,

Just die already. Or at least stop leaving as soon as my foot hits the tram stop. I'm sick of missing trams because your drivers can't see me reaching for the door.

Three crashes in one month is a sign of your incompetence,
Frustrated commuter.

Dear IDIOT Admin,

Clearly your board is set in Sydney with no real idea of what life is like here. That makes you dumb. And shame on you even more if you ARE Australian. We don't have freshmen, sophomores and juniors - they would be American terms. Clearly you suck at making a 'real life' RP.

You must be from NSW... XD
The Victorian who knows better.

Your skin gives me warm fuzzies <3 Never change it, because if I click fast enough I can trip myself out XD j/k

</random>

Dear Cable,

Showing reruns and ten-year-old movies doesn't make me want to watch you. Would it kill you to put something else on?


Dear God,

What now?

I think Mousie would get along well with my disgruntled grocery store employee. XD

Dear People in All of My Classes,

See that thing I have right next to my leg in that bag? Yes, that's a laptop. IT'S NOT A STEPPING STONE! Please refrain from putting your dirty shoe and--heaven forbid--your weight on my precious belonging. I'm doing my best to keep it out of your way; now watch where you walk, okay?

Drop dead.
Darth Makar

Dear dad,

The same time I love you I HATE when you're in vacation for one whole month pissing me off and scolding me for ever little thing trying to get the support of mom and looking ridiculous when she says she don't care for those silly things at all. Be reasonable so we can have a good relation, right?

From the one who loves you,
Your son.

Dear Pops,

I'm soooo tired of hearing you b*t*h. I know you're sick, I was sick before, in fact, I got you sick. Did I wander around the house making dead animal noises? No. Did I continuously complain about how crappy I felt? No. Did I turn into a raving asshole who snapped at you every three seconds, or got pissed off by every little thing? No. I was cranky, but I didn't take it out on you, did I? Nope. SO STOP ALREADY!

I know you are mad I have a job now, but get over it please. Soon I will get paid and you won't have to give me as much money as you did before. In fact, I'll probably give you money to help out with the bills, because I'm like that and I hate moooching off you. I'm stressed out too you know, and having you freaking out every five minutes is driving my blood pressure through the roof.

Love, your daughter, who does love you very much, even when I want to strangle you.


Dear Friend (?),

I'm getting really tired of this talking, not talking bullshit. I hate not knowing where I stand with you at any given time. Did you know it is your attitude that drives people away? I can't believe you have any friends if you treat them with the same disregard you treat me.

And if you don't want to talk to me or be friends with me, tell me, so I can move on with my life, I promise I won't cause a scene, but after 13 years of being your friend and being there for you whenever you needed me, I think I deserve at least that much.

Thanks, me.

Dear brothers,

We have FIVE computers in our house that you can go on. When dad's home we have six. There are two of you. WHY do you have to ALWAYS fight over the computers? Jordan - you are 14 years old! Almost fifteen! You do not have to fight with your seven year old brother like you are his age! Use your brain!

Love,
your seriously annoyed sister

Dear Microsoft Word,

Goddamn learn to recognize the reflexive case.


-Disgruntled User

Dear Human RPG Creators

Your "&" 's and useless periods before titles, and your ____ before every single word you say makes me utterly abhorred. The fact that instead of using a simple, easy to understand, category name, you insist on using words which really don't fit the subject. I can't stand looking at the "Stop the ****ing car" category, when it should be named "Rules." I cannot understand what aesthetics are involved with writing: .the .plot. .is .&&[A w E s O mE]}}}, when you could just say "The plot is extensive, and highly creative!" like any sensible person would.

Sincerely (stabbing you with knives),

- A cocky, yet annoyed RPer

Dear Protesters,

I understand that you are passionate and determined, and may have a good cause, but...

NO ONE IS ON YOUR SIDE WHEN YOU BLOCK A MAJOR INTERSECTION AT RUSH HOUR.

Sincerely,
Someone Who Had To Go Around Your Protesting Line

P.S. If the reason you are protesting is something with obscure initials, it is usually reccommended to either A) Write them large enough to see, or B) Write out the name of the company, so the poor people you are blocking can at least know your purpose.

Dear fingernail polish.

Dry.

-Me

Dear Britney Spears,

Get a life.
Get some underwear.
Get some help.

Your dear despiser,
Kat

Dear TV2,

WHY?! Why did you have to replace The Nanny (which is awesome) when it hasn't played for ages or even fully through, with Ugly Betty? It's not like the Ugly Betty series is even a new one! You're just playing reruns! You suck!

Love,
a once again unsatisfied watcher

Dear lovers of parmesan cheese,

Why?!?! Can't you smell that?

Yours,
- Mousie.